Wedding Reception Forum

Cocktail Reception Timeline

We are in the midst of planning out wedding and don't want a stuffy sit down meal. I'm not sure about the etiquette about how to go about it. We are planning on having a ton of food, so I'm  not worried about people being hungry because there is no dinner. I'm just not sure how to go about the timeline. Do we still have speeches, first dance etc. I'd rather not do anything traditional and just have people come in and eat and drink all night. But I'm not sure how to go about doing any of it. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks

Re: Cocktail Reception Timeline

  • We are in the midst of planning out wedding and don't want a stuffy sit down meal. I'm not sure about the etiquette about how to go about it. We are planning on having a ton of food, so I'm  not worried about people being hungry because there is no dinner. I'm just not sure how to go about the timeline. Do we still have speeches, first dance etc. I'd rather not do anything traditional and just have people come in and eat and drink all night. But I'm not sure how to go about doing any of it. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
    Thanks
    If you are doing a cocktail reception make sure that it doesn't take place during a typical meal time, generally receptions starting at 3 or after dinner time. You can still do toasts (please no speeches no one wants to listen to something that is more than 2 minutes), dances, etc if you want to but it isn't required for any reception. All that is required of a reception is time appropriate food/drink, a seat for every person and a comfortable environment. The reception is the "thank you" to your guests for witnessing your wedding. 
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  • You say you do not want a sit down meal, but plan on serving a ton of food.  People will still need somewhere to sit to eat this "ton of food".  If you do not plan on having a meal, this needs to be pointed out to the guests in some manner.  I will often bypass what I perceive to be appetizers, because I don't want to fill up on those when I am expecting dinner.

    Regardless of what you serve, every guest needs somewhere to sit.
  • Yes, I know we need places to sit, I wasn't asking that. We are planning on having seating for everyone. I was more concerned about a timeline when you don't have a formal sit down meal. ei. speeches, first dance etc... we don't want a formal wedding reception so would like some different ideas when it comes to a cocktail reception.
  • Yes, I know we need places to sit, I wasn't asking that. We are planning on having seating for everyone. I was more concerned about a timeline when you don't have a formal sit down meal. ei. speeches, first dance etc... we don't want a formal wedding reception so would like some different ideas when it comes to a cocktail reception.
    With the limited information you have given, it's a little difficult to offer a timeline.  Will you and your husband be present from the beginning?  Often, a bride and groom will be out finishing pictures when a cocktail hour begins.  If that is the case, your arrival could signal that it's time to sit down at tables.  Are you having a buffet?  Passed hors d'oeuvres?  Will you be having a DJ that can make these announcements?  Provide a little more clarity on the type of reception you are having and it will be easier to offer suggestions.
  • As stated before we are having a cocktail reception....which implies that we are just having hors d'oeuvres. I was just looking for information on how to go about having this type of reception. Ideas on when to do what. ei. speeches or first dance.
    Just looking for general information and maybe a timeline on what happens when? etc..
    I thought this was just a forum for people to get ideas and discuss all things wedding.
  • As stated before we are having a cocktail reception....which implies that we are just having hors d'oeuvres. I was just looking for information on how to go about having this type of reception. Ideas on when to do what. ei. speeches or first dance.
    Just looking for general information and maybe a timeline on what happens when? etc..
    I thought this was just a forum for people to get ideas and discuss all things wedding.
    I answered your question, so did PP even more thoroughly than I. You can do toasts, dances etc. People do different things at different times depending on the requirements of the vendors, locations, and timing of everything. Just because you are having a cocktail reception doesn't mean you also don't have a cocktail hour. I'm also finding a difficult time giving you direct answers without any information. Hors d'oeuvers can be passed, buffet style or stations. I have the exact same questions PP had about your event. 
    image
  • As stated before we are having a cocktail reception....which implies that we are just having hors d'oeuvres. I was just looking for information on how to go about having this type of reception. Ideas on when to do what. ei. speeches or first dance.
    Just looking for general information and maybe a timeline on what happens when? etc..
    I thought this was just a forum for people to get ideas and discuss all things wedding.
    I'll try one more time.  We are happy to offer ideas and discuss timelines, but cannot do so without additional information, which people have been requesting from you.  The fact that you are having "just hors d'oeuvres" gives us absolutely nothing to work with in regards to a timeline. 

    Is your ceremony in the same location as your reception will be?   Will you and your husband be present from the beginning?  Often, a bride and groom will be out finishing pictures when a cocktail hour begins.  If that is the case, your arrival could signal that it's time to sit down at tables.  Will you be having a DJ that can make these announcements?

    I have been to a cocktail style reception.  It included both passed and buffet style foods.  The bride and groom were there at the beginning to greet guests as they arrived. They did not have a dance, nor was there any dancing.  They did not cut a cake.  A few toasts were made, but they were done sporadically throughout the night. 

    You said you don't want to do anything traditional.  Then don't.  Etiquette has nothing to do with first dances or toasts.  If your concern is about etiquette as you state in your OP, then you merely need to make sure that your guests are being served appropriate to the time of your reception, that no one opens a wallet at your reception, and every one has a place to sit throughout the evening.
  • Cocktail receptions can be passed, stationary or even have action stations.  What kind are you having?   Personally I had all 3 for my hour long cocktail hour before my "stuffy" sit-down meal (which was far from stuffy, thank you very much).

    What time are you proposing it to start?  That makes a difference.   How long will it last?  Kind of hard to do a time line without know how long we need to plan.

    Will you have ANY dancing?   Fair question as lot of people do not have dancing.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • What makes a dinner stuffy? I sit down for all meals and I am not stuffy.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2015
    When  and where is your ceremony?  Without this information, it is impossible to answer your question.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragain said:
    When  and where is your ceremony?  Without this information, it is impossible to answer your question.
    OP clearly thinks we can either read minds or in fact, do have all the information we need to assist her, as per her admonishing ^^ above.  It is humorous for her to ask for "general information", and yet is unable to provide any for us.  What do we know?  OP does not want to be traditional, but is asking about first dances and speeches.    OP does not want a stuffy dinner.  OP wants to " just have people come in and eat and drink all night.  OP will serve hors d'oeuvres.

    What is wrong with you people?  Why can't you give her the timeline she needs?
  • Since we don't have much info from OP, I'll give my experience.

    I had a cocktail style reception. Over a meal time, with more than enough food to constitute a full meal and several choices that were heavier and more "meal"-ey than just passed apps. I did not have a DJ or dance floor and after the ceremony, we just opened up the tables with all the options (including dessert) and some waiters passed some apps. That's it, all the food was out from beginning to end. Enough seating for everyone and also some high tops. 

    Someone here recently said they were also doing cocktail style and they were having their food come out in waves. Smaller passed apps and crudites during the "cocktail hour" and then heavier options came out after that. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • What makes a dinner stuffy? I sit down for all meals and I am not stuffy.
    And even if it was a cocktail style reception I would still be sitting down to eat. So I don't get where the stuffiness is coming from?
  •  

    What makes a dinner stuffy? I sit down for all meals and I am not stuffy.
    And even if it was a cocktail style reception I would still be sitting down to eat. So I don't get where the stuffiness is coming from?

    I'm definitely envisioning a dark room with no windows or AC where people are huddled around tables eating dinner.  Sounds medieval!
  •  

    What makes a dinner stuffy? I sit down for all meals and I am not stuffy.
    And even if it was a cocktail style reception I would still be sitting down to eat. So I don't get where the stuffiness is coming from?

    I'm definitely envisioning a dark room with no windows or AC where people are huddled around tables eating dinner.  Sounds medieval!
    Hmm, I was thinking more of a different stuffiness. More like a 100 course meal at the Met with hundreds of tiny forks that you never know what to use them for. Oh and its Black Tie.
  •  

    What makes a dinner stuffy? I sit down for all meals and I am not stuffy.
    And even if it was a cocktail style reception I would still be sitting down to eat. So I don't get where the stuffiness is coming from?

    I'm definitely envisioning a dark room with no windows or AC where people are huddled around tables eating dinner.  Sounds medieval!
    Hmm, I was thinking more of a different stuffiness. More like a 100 course meal at the Met with hundreds of tiny forks that you never know what to use them for. Oh and its Black Tie.

     this^^ and people with fake laughs asking one another where they summer.

  • 8pm - Ceremony
    Immediately after ceremony - H'ors d'oeuvres begin being served, bar is opened
    As desired - Have DJ announce spotlight dances if you're having them and cake-cutting if you're doing that
    image
  • julieanne912julieanne912 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2015
    We're going to be sitting, so I guess my barbecue buffet and keg beer is going to be so stuffy....
    Married 9.12.15
    image
  • We are doing a heavy hors d'ouvres reception, so here is our timeline if you are still looking for ideas. Just remember some things will run over/not go as long as you expected. So ours below is what we are giving coordinator/photographer/videographer.

    7:00- Ceremony

    8:05 (if mass doesn't run over)- Church "send off"

    8:15- Guests to reception for "cocktail hour" (more like cocktail 45 mins..) Open bar, stationed hors d'ouvres,  and one passed hors d'ouvres. While guests are at the cocktail hour, we will be doing family portraits at the church.

    9:00- Dr and Mrs announced, first dance, father/daughter, mother/son dances

    9:15(ish)- Food stations open, band starts

    10:00- garter/bouqet toss, cake (we are choosing not to do speeches at the reception, doing them at the rehearsal instead)

    12:00- Party sadly over

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