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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Disappearing wedding gift - WWTKD?

Odd question for you ladies… One of H’s friends purchased a few kitchen items off of our Amazon registry before our wedding. The items appeared in the thank you manager section of the registry as having been purchased by the friend. The day after the wedding, the friend and his wife came over to our house to say bye. They mentioned that they bought something off the registry for us, and it should come soon.

Fast forward to after our honeymoon, and we realized that their gifts had not arrived yet. I went back on to our Amazon registry thank you manager, and lo and behold, they had disappeared from the thank you list. Has anyone seen this happen? H doesn’t know what to do…  I am inclined to think that something came up for them financially and they had to cancel the gifts, but I guess there’s a chance Amazon screwed up and we should have received them. I just feel like it’s an awkward situation – if H asks his friend, he risks putting the friend on the spot and potentially embarrassing him if they did have to cancel it. But if they didn’t cancel it, but we never received something they paid good money for, then Amazon screwed up and owes them a refund (or should be sending the items). We don’t want to look like dicks for not sending a thank you, but we don’t want to put the friend in an awkward position if he had to cancel the order for some reason.

If it was still showing as purchased on our registry, I wouldn’t hesitate to ask the friend about it. If they had not mentioned that they got us something, I would definitely not say anything. But since it’s not even showing up anymore, we don’t know if we should say something. We’re leaning toward not saying anything, but what would you all do?

BabyFruit Ticker

Re: Disappearing wedding gift - WWTKD?

  • Can you call Amazon and ask about it? You could also wait a little bit then call the friend and say you never received the gift they told you about and wanted to let them know. You don't need to mention that you had looked on Amazon and noticed the change in the thank you manager.
  • If you don't want to say anything perhaps you can contact amazon anyway? "Hey this item was in our thank you list but has disappeared and we never recieved it. Can you tell me what happened so our friends dont think us rude when they never get a thank you card?" Or somethibg like that. You get the idea.

    In my experience Amazon customer service has been amazing, so they might be able to help you get to the bottom of it.
  • They may or may not know that you knew *exactly* what they got you. I would just politely say "Hey friend! I just wanted to check in because you mentioned we should keep our eyes peeled for a gift you sent, but nothing has arrived. I just wanted to make sure it didn't get lost in translation!"

    I'd say the saving grace of this situation not being super awkward, is they made a specific point to tell you to keep you eyes open for the package. If I sent something to someone and it was MIA, I would certainly want to know too.

    I also think the other ladies suggestions of calling Amazon and seeing what they have to say would be a great place to start!

    Good luck!
  • Ok, I hadn't thought of contacting Amazon. I'll give it a go. Thanks, ladies!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would also call Amazon and ask them about it. They should either be able to tell you that the gifts were either returned, or notice that something got screwed up and then correct it.
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