Wishing Well Items

tmarie288 · August 2015

Hi,

My bridal shower is coming up and my family throwing it already told me they are planning on including a wishing well for all the "little items" a new household may need (we both live at home with our parents so we need EVERYTHING

)

my question is- do you include some of these little items on your registry? I'm talking about things like spatulas, dish cloths, sugar holders, pot holders, cooking utensils etc (basically anything like 5-10 dollars or less) or do you leave them all off of the registry and just see what people bring? My mom says its tacky to include little items, but I'm not sure if guests wouldn't appreciate a little guidance cause thats what I would like as a guest.

Thoughts?

MobKaz · August 2015

Tmarie288 said:

Hi,

My bridal shower is coming up and my family throwing it already told me they are planning on including a wishing well for all the "little items" a new household may need (we both live at home with our parents so we need EVERYTHING )

my question is- do you include some of these little items on your registry? I'm talking about things like spatulas, dish cloths, sugar holders, pot holders, cooking utensils etc (basically anything like 5-10 dollars or less) or do you leave them all off of the registry and just see what people bring? My mom says its tacky to include little items, but I'm not sure if guests wouldn't appreciate a little guidance cause thats what I would like as a guest.

Thoughts?

Your mom is mistaken. It is very important that your registry include items from a variety of price points. Consider the opposite. If the lowest priced item on your registry costs $15, you send the message that gifts less than that price point are not appreciated or not "good enough". It could even send the message that your mom is trying to avoid. "Gifts less than $15 are considered tacky".

Personally I love a huge variety. I like to pair things together. If I purchase a set of mixing bowls, I would want to include a set of measuring cups, measuring spoons, and spatula. I would prefer to know whether the couple has a preference with those items.

ETA: My perspective, FYI, is from both a MOB and MOG point of view. I mention that only because this is not necessarily a "generational" viewpoint.

MyNameIsNot · August 2015

Yes, register for the small things. I'm not sure what you mean by wishing well, but I would never assume that a couple needed spatulas or measuring spoons if they weren't on the registry.

I love to make baskets or themed gifts, i.e. pyrex casserole dishes together with pot holders and a cookbook, or mixing bowls with measuring cups and cupcake tins.

julieanne912 · August 2015

I have tons of little stuff on my registry... dish towels, measuring spoons... quite a few items under $10. I figure they're good for little add on items, or someone can buy them all to make one gift.

I know when I'm buying for registries I like to do what MyNameIsNot does... make a themed gift out of a bunch of the smaller items versus just one bigger one.

[Deleted User] · August 2015

What if I want to spend $50 on a gift for you? You have a $40 item on your registry, but nothing under $10 I can include to take my price up to what I want to spend. Either you end up with less of a gift than what I had intended, or you end up with something you don't want. Register for the little things.

ShesSoCold · August 2015

I agree with PPs on the registry, but I don't like the "wishing well", if it is what I think it is.

Are your shower hosts planning on including a (usually cutesy or rhyming) line on the invitation to also bring something small like measuring cups or whisks? I think that's super tacky. These people are already bringing a gift - don't try to squeeze more out of them.

Maggie0829 · August 2015

ShesSoCold said:

Are your shower hosts planning on including a (usually cutesy or rhyming) line on the invitation to also bring something small like measuring cups or whisks? I think that's super tacky. These people are already bringing a gift - don't try to squeeze more out of them.

So much this.

tmarie288 · August 2015

ShesSoCold said:

Are your shower hosts planning on including a (usually cutesy or rhyming) line on the invitation to also bring something small like measuring cups or whisks? I think that's super tacky. These people are already bringing a gift - don't try to squeeze more out of them.

I actually didn't ask if it was tacky or not, I asked if I should register for the items.

It is a pretty common thing where I'm from and obviously not mandatory since you can choose to drop it with a note or not.

But thanks for the snarky advice

artbyallie · August 2015

Tmarie288 said:

ShesSoCold said:

Are your shower hosts planning on including a (usually cutesy or rhyming) line on the invitation to also bring something small like measuring cups or whisks? I think that's super tacky. These people are already bringing a gift - don't try to squeeze more out of them.

I actually didn't ask if it was tacky or not, I asked if I should register for the items.

It is a pretty common thing where I'm from and obviously not mandatory since you can choose to drop it with a note or not.

But thanks for the snarky advice

Darling, she's trying to help you and your shower host/ess from appearing rude. It doesn't matter if other people in your area are rude too.

onefootinthebayou · August 2015

Could you please clarify what a "wishing well" is? My family & friend group is very diverse, so I was careful to include things on my registry that ranged from a low to a (not obnoxiously) higher price point. I also turned down some registry items suggested by my ILs that I deemed too expensive.

I'd like to hear more about what this "wishing well" concept is - but if it is, as a PP suggested, a way to encourage guests to tack on "small" items to the gifts they were already planning on bringing, then just NO. Do not do this. It seems horribly rude & insensitive to others' budgets. If I'm wrong, please correct me.

Some of the items you listed in the OP I purposely added to my registry so there would be choices for gifts (if my guests felt so inclined) that would be no more than $10. To assume that gifts of this value should be "thrown in" as extraneous or "bonus" b/c of their lower dollar value is pretty heinous IMO.

Is this "Wishing Well" yet another invention of the wedding industrial complex or a trend started by the entitled generation to get more, MORE presents?

Let's not be ungracious and be pleased with what we receive without inventing ways to ask for extras.

tmarie288 · August 2015

got it ladies thanks for your advice i didn't ask for!

If anyone can actually stick to the topic at hand- which is should I register for small "wising well" type items or not (you know maybe not from Bumbleweed, America) it would be appreciated!

Don't really care if you think a wishing well is tacky or not

Keep on trollin !

artbyallie · August 2015

Yes, register for small items.

But don't have a 'wishing well.'

That is the answer.

ETA: PS, you can't tell people how to post.

PPS, If multiple people are telling you the same thing, perhaps you should take it into consideration that they are correct.

MyNameIsNot · August 2015

Tmarie288 said:

ShesSoCold said:

Are your shower hosts planning on including a (usually cutesy or rhyming) line on the invitation to also bring something small like measuring cups or whisks? I think that's super tacky. These people are already bringing a gift - don't try to squeeze more out of them.

I actually didn't ask if it was tacky or not, I asked if I should register for the items.

It is a pretty common thing where I'm from and obviously not mandatory since you can choose to drop it with a note or not.

But thanks for the snarky advice

Ick! That's what you mean by wishing well? That's so rude!

I don't care if you asked for it or not, but disgusting gift grubby things are going to make you look selfish and greedy. I would hope you'd have the maturity to accept the advice here and skip it, but if getting extra gifts are more important to you than not being greedy, I just feel sorry for you.

VicTim328 · August 2015

Are we talking tea towels or toilet paper? You need both, but there are other ways to go about it. Talk to the hosts and your mom about your concerns. I'm sure if your mom feels that registering for little things is tacky, then she may feel that some other aspects of this could be tacky. I know in some areas, someone will host an event where guests can bring little household items (toilet paper, flour, detergent) for the couples' home.

Is a well-wisher a wishing well where guests dump extra home supplies, or is it a separate event? Take your lead from other recent brides in your circle as to the appropriateness. Did they have a wishing well? Is it a common practice where you are from? It could easily be considered tacky. If this is the case, I would not recommend including something on the invitation about it. Most people attending will know that you are both living at home with your parents. Guests do take that into consideration and will be able to gauge what your needs are based upon your registry. There is a difference in a couple who registered for silver photo frames and $150 champagne flutes and a couple who registered for $20 sets of cookie sheets and an ironing board.

Please by all means register for little things! I love doing themed gifts. Your registry will give guests guidance... if not registered, you could end up with 5 whisks but only 1 spatula. The registry with little items will help your guests figure out what you need (even if they stray off of it, maybe you didn't consider a potato peeler or ice cream scooper). You should also take into consideration if your stores have completion discounts for the things not purchased. We registered for way more than we ever expected to receive from guests, but used it as a way to get discounts on bigger items we knew we would be purchasing anyways (grill, lawn mower etc). Typically, if I see someone has registered for lots of basic household items (garbage cans, laundry baskets, hangers, ironing boards, flatware organizer, utensil caddy) , I take that as a cue that the couple is in need of basic household necessities. Who would give a garbage can but no garbage bags?

I do advise that you also ensure that your registry has gifts at multiple price ranges. I know plenty of families and coworkers who go in together and purchase bigger ticket items (vacuum, cookware, kitchenaid, china etc.)

One of the larger WP I was in broke into the couple's home while they were on their honeymoon and stocked the pantry, broom closet, bathroom etc. with basic foods (flour, sugar, spices, canned goods), paper products, and cleaning supplies. It was a similar situation where the groom had lived there for about 3 weeks and the bride was living with her parents 10 miles away. We basically moved them in and eliminated the extra stress they would have encountered on their way home. We told the bride ahead of time, so if she wanted to contribute to the organization of her home, she could. She put post its on the inside of cabinets and drawers. The couple needed lots of basic home necessities, and it allowed us to provide them without asking the guests to contribute. It didn't take long, basically 4 hours and $25 a piece. It was the WP showed the couple how much we love them.

MobKaz · August 2015

Tmarie288 said:

got it ladies thanks for your advice i didn't ask for!

If anyone can actually stick to the topic at hand- which is should I register for small "wising well" type items or not (you know maybe not from Bumbleweed, America) it would be appreciated!

Don't really care if you think a wishing well is tacky or not

Keep on trollin !

If you don't really care, then it is a little hard to understand why you would ask for opinions.

It is clear that your attitude is the ever popular, always obnoxious, "It's all about ME" and I don't care what anyone else thinks. I see in your prior posts that you also find it OK to kick out bridesmaids if they do not fulfill duties and responsibilities, that you do indeed see your BM's as minions, and you are fine with hosting parties on your own behalf.

Tacky on......

TrixieJess · August 2015

Tmarie288 said:

got it ladies thanks for your advice i didn't ask for!

If anyone can actually stick to the topic at hand- which is should I register for small "wising well" type items or not (you know maybe not from Bumbleweed, America) it would be appreciated!

Don't really care if you think a wishing well is tacky or not

Keep on trollin !

I'm certainly not from Bumbleweed, America (I'm Canadian), and have not heard of this travesty of a breach of etiquette until I was on Wedding forums.

Firstly, you are on an internet forum, you cannot tell people how to post.

Secondly, etiquette is a BIG DEAL here and when it looks like you are going to breach it like the hull of the Titanic, we're going to say something.

Thirdly, it's all good to register for small items, it's not okay to ask for shower items AND then expect other things in a basket or "wishing well".

Good luck with interneting, you're going to need it!

[Deleted User] · August 2015

TrixieJess said:

Tmarie288 said:

got it ladies thanks for your advice i didn't ask for!

If anyone can actually stick to the topic at hand- which is should I register for small "wising well" type items or not (you know maybe not from Bumbleweed, America) it would be appreciated!

Don't really care if you think a wishing well is tacky or not

Keep on trollin !

I'm certainly not from Bumbleweed, America (I'm Canadian), and have not heard of this travesty of a breach of etiquette until I was on Wedding forums.

Firstly, you are on an internet forum, you cannot tell people how to post.

Secondly, etiquette is a BIG DEAL here and when it looks like you are going to breach it like the hull of the Titanic, we're going to say something.

Thirdly, it's all good to register for small items, it's not okay to ask for shower items AND then expect other things in a basket or "wishing well".

Good luck with interneting, you're going to need it!

See, Trixie isn't even from America. And I'm from fucking Chicago, not Bumbleweed anything. So get your head out of your ass and listen to what people are saying, whether it's what you wanted to hear or not.

MobKaz · August 2015

adk19 said:

TrixieJess said:

Tmarie288 said:

got it ladies thanks for your advice i didn't ask for!

If anyone can actually stick to the topic at hand- which is should I register for small "wising well" type items or not (you know maybe not from Bumbleweed, America) it would be appreciated!

Don't really care if you think a wishing well is tacky or not

Keep on trollin !

I'm certainly not from Bumbleweed, America (I'm Canadian), and have not heard of this travesty of a breach of etiquette until I was on Wedding forums.

Firstly, you are on an internet forum, you cannot tell people how to post.

Secondly, etiquette is a BIG DEAL here and when it looks like you are going to breach it like the hull of the Titanic, we're going to say something.

Thirdly, it's all good to register for small items, it's not okay to ask for shower items AND then expect other things in a basket or "wishing well".

Good luck with interneting, you're going to need it!

See, Trixie isn't even from America. And I'm from fucking Chicago, not Bumbleweed anything. So get your head out of your ass and listen to what people are saying, whether it's what you wanted to hear or not.

Now I realize why I agree with so many of your posts! Although around here, we don't exactly say Bumbleweed......

ShesSoCold · August 2015

I, too, am from Chicago and have not to this Bumbleweed, but I've visited BFE and I hate to tell you, OP, adding extra bullshits to your shower invitation in an effort to squeeze another gift or two out of the guests is tacky everywhere. Yes, people do it, maybe a lot of people. But that doesn't make it any less tacky. I see a lot of people walking around with their bras and/or muffintops hanging out, but jsut because other people are doing it, doesn't make it less trashy.

Maggie0829 · August 2015

Tmarie288 said:

got it ladies thanks for your advice i didn't ask for!

If anyone can actually stick to the topic at hand- which is should I register for small "wising well" type items or not (you know maybe not from Bumbleweed, America) it would be appreciated!

Don't really care if you think a wishing well is tacky or not

Keep on trollin !

WTF?

It is obvious you don't know how the internet works.

And apparently you do not know what the word "troll" actually means.

And the bolded...really?

AddieCake · August 2015

I have only ever been to Bumblefuck. Is Bumbleweed near there?

TrixieJess · August 2015

AddieCake said:
I have only ever been to Bumblefuck. Is Bumbleweed near there?

Down the road and around the corner. It has a Bob Evans AND Cracker Barrel, it's fancy like that.

julieanne912 · August 2015

Oddly, the wedding's I've been to with the most tacky shit, are in "bumbleweed". I have lived all over the US, including large cities, and currently live in "bumbleweed" and I wouldn't dream of having tacky crap like wishing wells, money dances, or cash bars at my wedding.

AddieCake · August 2015

TrixieJess said:

I have only ever been to Bumblefuck. Is Bumbleweed near there?
Down the road and around the corner. It has a Bob Evans AND Cracker Barrel, it's fancy like that.

Well, gooooollllly! And wooooooo, doggies! I must go.

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