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NWR: thank you etiquette

caseyc127caseyc127 member
Fourth Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi everyone. I haven't been on in a while but you all were super helpful while I was planning and were the first ones I thought with this.
We've had a death in our family last week and our family and friends have been incredibly supportive over the last few months with the entire situation.
What is the etiquette surrounding sending thank you notes? Time frame? We will definitely send notes to those who have sent us flowers and food but what about those who sent cards? Any advice you have would be very helpful.
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Re: NWR: thank you etiquette

  • aliwis000aliwis000 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    I would say if you want to extend a written thank you to someone who supported you through a hard time I see nothing wrong with that.

    If you feel awkward sending a thank you note to someone without having gotten a "gift" (aka plant, flowers, etc) you could always get a lovely set of blank cards. Just a pretty picture on the outside and then write a heartfelt note within.

    As far as time frame goes I would say whenever you feel comfortable doing it. Death is a hard thing to deal with. For those who sent flowers and things it might be good to get them out soon. I send flowers all the time and its nice to know that the loved ones did get them as I never want to call and ask someone who is morning "Hey did you get those flowers?" For those that are just supporting you I think that is different whenever you feel you are ready.
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    caseyc127 said:
    Hi everyone. I haven't been on in a while but you all were super helpful while I was planning and were the first ones I thought with this. We've had a death in our family last week and our family and friends have been incredibly supportive over the last few months with the entire situation. What is the etiquette surrounding sending thank you notes? Time frame? We will definitely send notes to those who have sent us flowers and food but what about those who sent cards? Any advice you have would be very helpful.

    In this situation, I do not expect, nor do I want the family to spend a lot of time or trouble worrying about sending thank you notes.  We still have guest books at wakes.  For anyone that signs the guest book (which means they took the time to attend the funeral), or sends a card, our thank you note is sincere but simple.  Inside a blank card we will write, "The family of XXX XXXX appreciates your kind words and prayers during this difficult time", or something to that effect.  The other option is to write to simple note similar to the one above, and then sign it, "The family of XXX XXXX"

    When people sent flowers, provided food, or other acts of kindness, we did mention those gifts specifically.  When possible, we assigned those cards to the family member closest to the family that gifted the item.

    We tend to do things as soon as possible.  In my family, we used it as a way to gain additional closure and healing. We got together soon after the services and worked together.   I'm sorry for your loss.
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