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getting married outside of the church - Catholic ceremony?

[Deleted User][Deleted User] member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Catholic Weddings
I know that the Roman Catholic faith does not recognize marriages held outside of the church. We are getting married outdoors in a garden, so I have a few questions:

1. It's my understanding that an active priest in good standing cannot preside over a ceremony outside of a church, but a deacon or retired priest can if they are willing. Is this accurate? If so, is it fairly common for retired priest to do this? Would any pre-cana type work need to be done?

2. As a backup plan, we have a church in our city that practices the Catholic faith, but does not adhere to the Roman Catholic ways. I've never been before, but a member of their clergy is willing to marry us in an outdoor setting. Is anyone familiar with these kinds of parishes and do you know what the ceremony would entail? Would it be awkward to include readings for a small ceremony?

3. What would we need to do after we are married to eventually have our marriage recognized by the Catholic Church?

Thanks all!
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Re: getting married outside of the church - Catholic ceremony?

  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Deacons and retired priests cannot do outdoor weddings either. 

    If you want to marry through the church, there will need to be preparation (pre-cana) done, whenever you decide to do it.

    Approaching the church after you are married to get a convalidation (to the church, this is your actual wedding), simply because you wanted to get married outside is not the way to go. 

    It is very serious to marry outside of the prescribed norms when Catholic, and one cannot receive the sacraments anymore. 

    The church that is not under the diocese (unless an Eastern church), is not a Catholic church. Superficial appearances may seem like it. Please don't do a "pretend" catholic outdoor wedding. 
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper

    What @agapecarrie said! 

    I'd highly recommend meeting with the priest at the parish that is your "church home" to discuss some of these questions you've got as the priests that did our marriage prep did such an eloquent job discussing these in further depth than is easy to get to on an internet forum.  In this state we got a discount on the cost of our marriage license to go through Pre-canna classes and the priests even talked about doing the classes with non-Catholics because it really is beneficial even if you ultimately make the choice for a garden wedding instead, you'd be doing so fully informed. 

    2) Faux Catholic isn't Catholic...  The only question would be if it's an Eastern Catholic church which gets into a grey area in the past few years. 

    3) It's easier to have the official ceremony in a Catholic Church first then if your heart is set on the outdoor garden ceremony with the pretty pictures to have a vow renewal there potentially later in the day.  You only get one wedding.  In the end, the church's view is that it's about God's presence, at the Sacrament of Matrimony (the priest/deacon is there merely as a witness), not pretty photo op (heck, our church had red shag carpet - but I honestly didn't even notice the day of our wedding!  The church was absolutely beautiful the day-of!).  Set up the meeting and discuss this with your parish priest.  If you don't have one set parish that you go to, check out "Masstimes .org" and check out some of the parishes in your area to find one that you can get actively involved in as a parishioner. 

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    I'm kind of confused about the question... you don't want the catholic ceremony but you do?
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    MesmrEwe said:

    What @agapecarrie said! 

    I'd highly recommend meeting with the priest at the parish that is your "church home" to discuss some of these questions you've got as the priests that did our marriage prep did such an eloquent job discussing these in further depth than is easy to get to on an internet forum.  In this state we got a discount on the cost of our marriage license to go through Pre-canna classes and the priests even talked about doing the classes with non-Catholics because it really is beneficial even if you ultimately make the choice for a garden wedding instead, you'd be doing so fully informed. 

    2) Faux Catholic isn't Catholic...  The only question would be if it's an Eastern Catholic church which gets into a grey area in the past few years. 

    3) It's easier to have the official ceremony in a Catholic Church first then if your heart is set on the outdoor garden ceremony with the pretty pictures to have a vow renewal there potentially later in the day.  You only get one wedding.  In the end, the church's view is that it's about God's presence, at the Sacrament of Matrimony (the priest/deacon is there merely as a witness), not pretty photo op (heck, our church had red shag carpet - but I honestly didn't even notice the day of our wedding!  The church was absolutely beautiful the day-of!).  Set up the meeting and discuss this with your parish priest.  If you don't have one set parish that you go to, check out "Masstimes .org" and check out some of the parishes in your area to find one that you can get actively involved in as a parishioner. 

    This makes no sense.  You do, in fact, get only one wedding.  There would be no point in having a vow renewal on the SAME day as your wedding.  As a guest, I would not want to witness one church ceremony, and then a second meaningless re-enactment a few moments later. 
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