Is it rude to add a bridesmaid 2 months after the others were asked?

Re: Is it rude to add a bridesmaid 2 months after the others were asked?

• AddieCake member

  

  August 2015

  Knottie29192760 said:

  I asked my 4 closest friends to be in my bridal party 2 months ago. My fiance has been putting off asking his guys, but has had them picked out since we got engaged. Recently, we ran into his friend's girlfriend at a party. She mentioned he'll upset if he were to be an usher... Awkward! We had planned to ask him to be an usher. :-(

  
  

  Now, my fiance thinks that we should change our bridal party to have 5 people on each side. I have a couple friends I could choose from, but I feel like a complete jerk asking her so much later than the others. She might be hurt that she wasn't an original choice. Would it be best to leave things the way they are?

  
  

  My MOH's opinion: "It's an honor to even be invited to a wedding. He's lucky to be a part of it. He'll get over being 'just' an usher."

  
  Yes, this is rude. If he wants 5, let him have 5, but you have already chosen your side, and it has 4. And what do you mean "He's lucky to be a part of it?"

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• Knottie80779227 member

  

  August 2015

  I'm having 3 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen. The groomsmen are helping usher (the groom and best man will not. the groom will be kept in back until the time he is supposed to be up front at the church and the best man is there to keep him company). The men will all be up front at the beginning and the girls will walk down alone and be escorted by one boy on each side as they exit. Uneven sides doesn't make a difference :-)
  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  August 2015

  Wow, that's a bold, presumptuous thing to say. I agree with your MOH. Its an honor to be invited. If he would be offended by being asked to be an usher, then don't ask him to be anything.

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  August 2015

  I wouldn't add a bridesmaid.  Whether your groom has 1, 4, or 9 groomsmen doesn't matter.  You ask your friends, he asks his.  Numbers don't matter.  Sides don't have to be even.

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• Jen4948 member

  

  August 2015

  Sides don't have to be even, and it is an honor to be invited to a wedding.

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• DMsdbride member

  

  August 2015

  I also agree with the others. I am having 6 bridesmaids and my fiance has 4 groomsmen. Its not that big of deal or uncommon these days. Just add the extra groomsman. Nobody will notice  

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• CMGragain member

  

  August 2015

  They are bridesmaids, not a chorus line.  Sides do not need to be even, and asking someone just to fill in the numbers is very shallow.
  

  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  August 2015

  I agree with others that sides don't have to be even. I personally think it depends on how close you are to the wedding. If you asked your other BM say 12 months before the wedding and your asking her 10 months before the wedding, it's probably ok. But if you are asking her with say less then 6-7 months to go or the dresses have already been picked out, it will totally look like an after thought.

  On the issue of your FI friend, knowing that he would be upset being an usher, I wouldn't ask him to be a part of the wedding party at all & just let him & GF be guests. Because what will he be upset about next? That is GF isn't a BM? Or that GF maybe didn't get invited to your bachlorette party because you opt for a brides maid only event? Save yourselves both a lot of stress (and some money too) and just leave him as a guest.

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