Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Help! Father daughter dance

So my wedding is about three weeks away, (can you tell I've been avoiding this subject?) and I need a father daughter dance song. My dad and I are not exactly close, and since my parents divorced when I was young and he remarried and started another family, he hasn't exactly been the father he should have been. My mom really took on the role of both parents for me. This is where my situation gets complicated. My fiance is doing a mother son dance and I know my dad's feelings will be hurt if then I skip a father daughter dance with him. My mom has a lot of anger toward my dad for not being there for me the way he should have, so not only would a sappy father daughter song be awkward, but my mom has also said she will have to leave the room for the father daughter dance. I hate making my mom feel that way and I don't want to hurt my dad either by skipping it after my fiance dances with his mom.
Has anyone had a similar situation? I would love any advice on this from suggestions for non sappy father daughter dance songs to suggestions on how to still make my mom feel important in this situation.

Re: Help! Father daughter dance

  • What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Instead of doing separate spotlight dances, my H danced with his mom at the same time I danced with my dad. We used John Lennon's version of Stand by Me. 
  • You could do a mother-daughter dance.
  • edited June 2015
    Not an answer to your question, but I always wonder why people care whether or not they hurt a parent's feelings when the parent who should have done better, didn't. 

    I'm not saying go out of your way to be mean to anyone, but if your dad really gave a shit then it should have been when you were growing up- by being an active part of your life and raising you.  If he didn't want his feelings hurt by not getting to dance with you, he should have been a better parent.  Sometimes, the consequences of our actions don't become evident until many years later.  Not your problem.

    Honor your mother if you want. Dance with her.

    ETF:  super huge gap at the end of my posting
  • I'm in the same situation.  My parents divorced when I was about six and my dad has never really been a "dad" to me.  To be honest, navigating this has been the most stressful part of wedding planning for me.  I know my mom is who I want with me at my wedding.  Sure my dad is going to be there, but if he wasn't I wouldn't be heartbroken.

    I wanted my mom to walk me down the aisle, but she doesn't want to make waves and suggested that I have both she and my father do it.  I'm not super thrilled with that idea.  I think I've decided to walk myself down the aisle (the only reason why I would need an escort is to prevent me from tripping on my heels, but I'm not wearing heels so problem solved) and have my mom and dad escort my grandmothers down the aisle.

    I'm stuck on the first dances, though.  My fiance and his mom are going to do a mother/son dance so I feel like for balance sake I should do one with my dad...but I don't really want to.  Nor would I know what to do with him.  However, I know he would be hurt if I left him out completely and I can't do that to anyone.  So, now I'm stuck.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards