Answered

Re: Answered

• Viczaesar member

  

  August 2015

  
  

  cps96 said:

  Hello all!

  
  

  I am the MOH and I need some advice on how to deal with a difficult bridesmaid.  

  
  

  I am currently planning the bride's bachelorette party. We decided on a place and consulted with the bride for her preferred date. The bride would like to have the bachelorette in late April due to work concerns. Her wedding date is at the end of July, but she was concerned that she would need the 2 months in between to get final wedding things squared away. The bridesmaid in question could not do the entire month of May and suggested June instead, contrary to what the bride preferred. Then, the bridesmaid privately messaged me and indicated that she and her boyfriend (not yet engaged) were planning on getting married in April, thus, she may not be able to make it and requested that we wait to book the hotel until she knew of a date for her wedding.

  
  

  I'm really not sure how to respond to this bridesmaid. My initial inclination is to say "no" and assume that she will not be going but I don't want that to be the case! Am I being too harsh here? Any thoughts or suggestions on how to respond in a way that doesn't offend the bridesmaid?
  

  It's August.  Why the hell do you need to book now for next April?

  
  
  
  

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• AddieCake member

  

  August 2015

  Why does the bride need 2 months between her b party and her wedding?

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• redoryx member

  

  August 2015

  AddieCake said:

  Why does the bride need 2 months between her b party and her wedding?

  Seriously, how long is this Bach Party supposed to last? An entire month? 

  

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• snowywinter member

  

  August 2015

  Agreed with above. Why is this a pressing issue 8 months in advance? I do think you're being a bit harsh and I really don't think she's being difficult in asking that you hold off for now. I'd let the bridesmaid set her wedding date, assuming she's going to set it in the next few weeks/month or two. There's no reason to even begin planning a bachlorette party this far in advance.
  

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• cps96 member

  

  August 2015

  Even if she's not yet engaged? I agree with you. However, this bridesmaid was the one pressuring me to make the plans in the first place.

  
  

  We were trying to save money and book things in advanced as everyone is a budget. I'm not sure why she needs 2 months, she just thought she would need the time and I wanted to respect that.

  
  

  I don't see the harm in waiting a month or so in waiting to book. Thanks for the suggestions! 

  
  

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• redoryx member

  

  August 2015

  cps96 said:

  Even if she's not yet engaged? I agree with you. However, this bridesmaid was the one pressuring me to make the plans in the first place.

  
  

  We were trying to save money and book things in advanced as everyone is a budget. I'm not sure why she needs 2 months, she just thought she would need the time and I wanted to respect that.

  
  

  I don't see the harm in waiting a month or so in waiting to book. Thanks for the suggestions! 

  
  

  If they are a planning a wedding for April, they are engaged.

  

  Report6 Reply
• AddieCake member

  

  August 2015

  Waiting a month or so? That's still a long way out. Is this a destination party? Is that why there's a need to book a hotel room so far out? I can't see any other reason people would be needing to book so far in advance.

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• Viczaesar member

  

  August 2015

  Deleting your post is rude, @cps96, and pointless since I copied your original post.

  
  
  
  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  August 2015

  I wouldn't even be thinking about planning this bach party until after the first of the year.

  
  

  OP, my suggestion to you is to put everything on hold.

  
  

  Also, if the BM in question can't make the bach party that is okay.  I am sure the bride would understand (hopefully) that her one friend can't make the bach party because she is getting married.  In fact, if the bride is not a crazy bridezilla, she may want to move her bach party so that she can go to the wedding if invited.

  
  

  So best course of action is to wait.

  
  

  Report3 Reply
• lyndausvi mod

  

  August 2015

  
  

  No one should assume an invite, but if this girl is close enough to be a BM and she is not having a really small immediate family only wedding, it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to think the bride would be invited to the wedding.   

  
  

  My vote is hold off for a little longer to see if the BM sets a date.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• lembaslover member

  

  August 2015

  If they are planning a wedding they are engaged There might not have been a big announcement or a ring but that doesn't really matter. As for saving money by booking 8 months out or whatever it is honestly I've found that too far in advance and it can be more expensive. For me I've found the sweet spot to be 1-3 months in advance...

  
  

  On a side note why do people think deleting their original post does anything when you can clearly see they've been quoted?

  

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