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I can't believe what my fiance did......

tj&cwtj&cw member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
in Wedding Woes
I called to make sure that a package was delivered at our new house...(he is living there why I finish packing up my house) and to see if we had received any RSVP cards in the last few days. He told me no....strange because I have a few people who said they mailed them in the last week. THEN he tells me that he told the mail person that the only mail they should leave is the last name "wren"....all the RSVP cards have my name 'Jacob" on them. I almost passed out, started to see spots and he has no idea why I am upset! 

He response was no big deal we can just call people to see if they are coming. I am having everything for the wedding shipped to the house.....we are 40 days away from our wedding and I just want to punch him! Or just sit here and cry
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Re: I can't believe what my fiance did......

  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Why is this such a big deal? Call the post office and explain the mistake so you can get your mail.
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  • MNNEBrideMNNEBride member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited August 2015
    HE can just call people and follow up.

    In the big picture, your FI hasn't really thought this through.  After almost 9 years of marriage, I still get the occasional piece of mail in my maiden name (and not always junk).  

    Also, maybe I'm reading too much into this, but is your FI controlling in other ways?  It seems to be a very controlling thing to tell the post office only to leave mail in the name you both will share and no other.  I don't know, it's like he wants to erase who you were before marrying him.  
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  • pegasuskatpegasuskat member
    First Comment Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    That seems like a really strange thing to do....  I can't figure out any reason that he would tell them that.  I would let him know that HE will be making calls to all the people invited.
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    What?

    This is all ridiculous.  A) I don't think I could tell my mail carrier to *only* deliver stuff for the Conns and no one else.  Even though no one lived in my house for several years before I bought it, I still get mail for former owners of this house.  My mail person has better things to do than weed out mail while they're trying to make their rounds as fast as possible.   B ) Why would he say something like that?  Were you getting a bunch of mail for the former owners of your house (I'm assuming it's not new construction)?  Otherwise I agree with MNNE, ths request seems odd at the least. 

    In the grand scheme, it's *not* a big deal.  However, I'd first see if you can get the RSVP cards back from the USPS.  If not, make a phone list and start calling. And I'd hope his ass is sitting next to you making calls as well. 

    But I'm really curious why he would put that mail mandate out there.  Please come back and let us know. 
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  • tawillerstawillers member
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    See, I think this is a big deal.  Ok, maybe "big deal" isn't the appropriate phrase, but it's something.  Why is it a big deal for him?  He can't write RTS on an envelope and stick it back in the mailbox?  Has he never moved before?  Hell, we still get mail for the previous owners (a farking wedding invite last week!!) and we've been here more than 6 years.

    And your name is still your name for at least 5-6 more weeks.  He didn't think you'd need your mail?

    You can go to your post office and ask for the mail that he refused, though that's a pain in the ass for you if you don't live nearby.  It's also annoying that you have to be the one to go request the mail since you weren't the one who messed this up.
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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
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    We still get mail for the old owner of our house (woman #1), and some other woman (woman #2). (I'm guessing it's some relation to woman #1, as the house has had only one previous owner.) The stuff we get for woman #2 is tax related for some other property that she owns. RTS and even a call to the attorneys sending the notice haven't worked, so we just throw it out. We've lived in our current house for ~5 years.  

    I agree with PP that your FI sounds weird and controlling. 
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    tawillers said:
    See, I think this is a big deal.  Ok, maybe "big deal" isn't the appropriate phrase, but it's something.  
    Yeah, I agree.  It's a very odd request AND I'm surprised the mail person agreed to it.

    Now I kind of am hoping it's MUD. 
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  • tj&cwtj&cw member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
     I talked to him this morning....and we worked it out, I probably over reacted. I am just very stressed with trying to finish the wedding planning, getting my house on the market, looking for a new job and getting his house ready.
     I can honestly say that he is not controlling or weird. He owns the house and has had roommates that he wants to stop having mail delivered there. He has a list on the inside of the mail box that has all the names to not deliver....talked to the mail person about that list and he did not think when he  mentioned his last name. 

    He is going down to the post office this morning to see what is happening. We just have a lot of stuff being mailed to the house for the wedding....

    Thanks for making me realize that I just freaked out

    PS: He feels really really bad. 
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  • KittenMittens84KittenMittens84 member
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    mrs.conn23 said:
    tawillers said:
    See, I think this is a big deal.  Ok, maybe "big deal" isn't the appropriate phrase, but it's something.  
    Yeah, I agree.  It's a very odd request AND I'm surprised the mail person agreed to it.

    Now I kind of am hoping it's MUD. 

    Depends on where you live and your carriers but mine actually left me a note one day asking if a certain name was to be delivered to my address.
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    tawillers said:
    See, I think this is a big deal.  Ok, maybe "big deal" isn't the appropriate phrase, but it's something.  Why is it a big deal for him?  He can't write RTS on an envelope and stick it back in the mailbox?  Has he never moved before?  Hell, we still get mail for the previous owners (a farking wedding invite last week!!) and we've been here more than 6 years.

    And your name is still your name for at least 5-6 more weeks.  He didn't think you'd need your mail?

    You can go to your post office and ask for the mail that he refused, though that's a pain in the ass for you if you don't live nearby.  It's also annoying that you have to be the one to go request the mail since you weren't the one who messed this up.
    All of this.  If a forwarding order expired and we get some previous occupants' mail, it goes in the recycling bin and that's that.  Of course the stuff we get for previous occupants isn't bills or anything, more like Bass Pro Shops flyers and Limited coupons.
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