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Funky bridesmaid- Doesn't want to walk up with another man!!

AshleyMaeBlankAshleyMaeBlank member
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in Moms and Maids
I have a bridesmaid that is uncomfortable with walking up with one of the groomsmen because she never had a church wedding with her husband- they did a courthouse wedding 3 yrs ago. He is also from Nigeria so he doesn't understand our customs over here. I asked her if she could just talk to him and explain that just because she is walking up with another man (who, mind you, is married) doesnt mean there is any meaning behind it.
I dont like the idea of the women walking up seperately...
Are there any other options??
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Re: Funky bridesmaid- Doesn't want to walk up with another man!!

  • kbsmom1kbsmom1 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    the groom ad his gronmsmen can already be at the front of the church....the maida and bride can process in....thats how KB did it..
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  • AshleyMaeBlankAshleyMaeBlank member
    First Comment
    As posted above, I don't really want to do that. Just wondering if there are any other options- she would even be willing to walk up with him just not arm in arm
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  • ohwhynot85ohwhynot85 member
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    Why don't you respect how your bridesmaid feels and let her walk alone.
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  • ohwhynot85ohwhynot85 member
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    Her walking alone has nothing to do with you, btw.
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  • JaxInBlueJaxInBlue member
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    Have everyone waiting up front already.

    If possible, use different aisles or entrance points so people still walk "together" but bridesmaids use one and groomsmen use.

    Understand that she is trying to manage her husband's hestitations, as well as what sound like some deep and significant cultural or religious issues.  Let her walk alone or with another female bridesmaid.
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  • AshleyMaeBlankAshleyMaeBlank member
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    because I wanted them to walk with the guys. It's a bit old school to have them walk up alone. I dont know why on The Knot no one is taking my side? Weird.
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I don't think anyone is taking  your side because there are obviously significant cultural issues at stake here.  If she has a DH who doesn't understand/approve of her walking with another man in church, regardless of how harmless it is in our society, I think you need to honor that.  In all honesty, I don't see BM's coming separately as old school.  I haven't attended a wedding in my 52 years where BM/GM came in together.  I have heard of them and I know they happen, but I think calling it old school is a bit extreme.

    Your friend has to figure out how to make you and her husband happy and her husband is very uncomfortable with this.  If she were my friend, that would be all I needed to hear and I would have the guys up front waiting for the girls.
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  • yoshijoyoshijo member
    First Comment
    I don't see why it is so important to have them walking together. I would never ask my good friend to do something she is obviously uncomfortable doing. All of your other BMs could walk with GMs and your one friend can just walk alone if you don't want to totally change it. Also, you stated she is fine walking next to him just not arm in arm. Why not just do that?
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  • GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited September 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_funky-bridesmaid-doesnt-want-to-walk-up-with-another-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:6ab53984-18c7-4fe7-b986-8e96a796cb57Post:0b95f5be-c76a-4a1d-9968-b8b1885388b4">Re: Funky bridesmaid- Doesn't want to walk up with another man!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]because I wanted them to walk with the guys. It's a bit old school to have them walk up alone. I dont know why on The Knot no one is taking my side? Weird.
    Posted by AshleyMaeBlank[/QUOTE]

    They are not taking your side because you think your superficial way of walking up the aisle is more important than the feelings of your friend and her husband who is from another culture.  Suck it up, let the girls walk alone and have the guys up front.
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  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
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    I don't find it old school to have the BMs enter alone. That's how we did it and how 90% of the weddings I've attended did it. So if it's old school, then so am I and most of my friends.

    Honestly this shouldn't be a huge deal. She has explained why she doesn't want to do it. It would be crappy of you to try to force her to do something she and her husband are not comfortable with. End of story. PPs have given options, and besides that, you could have all the WP couples walk in together not arm-in-arm so it wouldn't emphasize that she was not.


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  • FluffyGumDrop2FluffyGumDrop2 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited September 2012
    I don't understand why you wouldn't agree for her to walk down the aisle with him while they are not arm-in-arm. Is a potential picture of two strangers walking down holding arms really worth more than your friend's comfort?

    She was willing to compromise so why can't you?
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    In Response to Re:Funky bridesmaid Doesn't want to walk up with another man!!:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Funky bridesmaid Doesn't want to walk up with another man!!:because I wanted them to walk with the guys. It's a bit old school to have them walk up alone. I dont know why on The Knot no one is taking my side? Weird.Posted by AshleyMaeBlankThey are not taking your side because you think your superficial way of walking up the aisle is more important than the feelings of your friend and her husband who is from another culture.nbsp; Suck it up, let the girls walk alone and have the guys up front. Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

    This. You should really listen to your friend and understand her feelings. How everyone walks in will not have any effect on the legality of your marriage. So suck it up and be a good friend.

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  • renegade gauchorenegade gaucho member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    This is incredibly silly.  Your attendants just need to get from the back of the ceremony venue to the front.  None of your guests will care how they get there.  Grow up and accommodate your good friend's very reasonable request.
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  • AshleyMaeBlankAshleyMaeBlank member
    First Comment
    Valid points. To the ridiculous poster who said it would cause problems in their marriage---- a bit extreme!

    Definitely will honor my friend, I'm glad I posted this. I love the idea of having them walk out from seperate entrances but unfortunately there is only one for this church.
    I will have the dudes stand up front.
    Thanks everyone!
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  • renegade gauchorenegade gaucho member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    Um, you're the one who suggested that your friend's husband has a problem with it.  Isn't that the reason you posted?
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  • SarahAnn2SarahAnn2
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_funky-bridesmaid-doesnt-want-to-walk-up-with-another-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:6ab53984-18c7-4fe7-b986-8e96a796cb57Post:abaeec82-3e82-4ac1-8f2a-d6cc5c708fc3">Re: Funky bridesmaid- Doesn't want to walk up with another man!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]As posted above, I don't really want to do that. Just wondering if there are any other options- <strong>she would even be willing to walk up with him just not arm in arm</strong>
    Posted by AshleyMaeBlank[/QUOTE]

    So have her walk up with him... but not arm in arm.
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