Don't make your guests be chauffeurs!

friarphysics · June 2015

So my long-time friend (also my bridesmaid

) was telling me about a relative's wedding she attended last weekend. Apparently, originally she and her boyfriend were both invited, but later the groom (her cousin) told her her boyfriend was no longer invited because they "didn't have space at the family table" and "he would have to sit by himself". Uhh.. ok. Terrible excuse but whatever.

When she got to the wedding (which was OOT for her), she found out the groom had volunteered her to be a "designated driver", and shuttle the other guests to and from the venue. But hey, she gets to ~drive a Lexus~ so it's all OK right? \s

Fortunately for the happy couple, she is much more understanding than I would have been. What would you do if you got to a wedding and were asked to please refrain from drinking and drive everyone around? I would have flat out refused, that's crazy!

Maggie0829 · June 2015

friarphysics said:

So my long-time friend (also my bridesmaid ) was telling me about a relative's wedding she attended last weekend. Apparently, originally she and her boyfriend were both invited, but later the groom (her cousin) told her her boyfriend was no longer invited because they "didn't have space at the family table" and "he would have to sit by himself". Uhh.. ok. Terrible excuse but whatever.

When she got to the wedding (which was OOT for her), she found out the groom had volunteered her to be a "designated driver", and shuttle the other guests to and from the venue. But hey, she gets to ~drive a Lexus~ so it's all OK right? \s

Fortunately for the happy couple, she is much more understanding than I would have been. What would you do if you got to a wedding and were asked to please refrain from drinking and drive everyone around? I would have flat out refused, that's crazy!

This would have been my reaction to the groom...

Heffalump · June 2015

Normal: told them unfortunately, that won't be possible.

Passive-aggressive: I would have drunk enough that I legally couldn't even drive. Sorry not sorry.

thisismynickname2 · June 2015

Holy shit.

I don't know what I would have done. If it was driving around many groups all night, I would have told my cousin no. If it was two or three family members to fit in one trip in the car, I would have done it.

banana468 · June 2015

Depending on how snarky I felt I'd say something like, "Well, it's a good thing I didn't buy you a gift yet. Sure I'll do this. You're welcome."

Then again, I wouldn't attend a wedding where my SO wasn't welcome. The older I get the less time I have for bullshit.

[Deleted User] · July 2015

Wow... isn't being voluntold just the BEST?!

How did everyone else transport their guests? Did you order shuttles? This post made me realize, "ummm you have to find a way to get your OOT guests without cars to the venue that's 20 minutes away from the hotel..." and I had a bit of an "oh shit" moment.

AddieCake · July 2015

I would have refused.

colasuda · July 2015

jgrace8611 said:

Wow... isn't being voluntold just the BEST?!

How did everyone else transport their guests? Did you order shuttles? This post made me realize, "ummm you have to find a way to get your OOT guests without cars to the venue that's 20 minutes away from the hotel..." and I had a bit of an "oh shit" moment.

I'm using shuttles. Like 95% of our guests are coming from OOT, and our Church is about 20 minutes away from the venue. Most of our guests are staying at the venue/hotel, so we are just having our shuttle do the pick up there. If anyone decides they'd like to stay elsewhere, they can still use the shuttle by being at the venue by the pickup time. It just seemed like good hosting--I know that my guests are adults and can transport themselves, but since they're already paying for travel and lodging it seemed like the least I could do was save them a cab fare.

justsuzie · July 2015

What do you do if you have guests staying all over the place? Do you have taxi numbers handy? I have been wondering baout this for some time. I don't want anyone getting hurt on the way home.

colasuda · July 2015

Knottie1427322490 said:

What do you do if you have guests staying all over the place? Do you have taxi numbers handy? I have been wondering baout this for some time. I don't want anyone getting hurt on the way home.

Definitely have taxi numbers handy. Possibly on your wedding website? If you do want to go the shuttle route, possibly find a centralized location that people could use if they would like to be picked up.

Jen4948 · July 2015

I've been voluntold to give rides to people who live really far out of my way for non-wedding-related occasions, and I hate it. I would hate it even more for a wedding-related occasion when I'm trying to fit it in among whatever else I have scheduled.

The next time I get "voluntold" to give someone a ride, I will tell whoever does it, "Sorry, but Jen4948's limo service is closed that day. I'm not giving rides."

JediElizabeth · August 2015

jgrace8611 said:

Wow... isn't being voluntold just the BEST?!

How did everyone else transport their guests? Did you order shuttles? This post made me realize, "ummm you have to find a way to get your OOT guests without cars to the venue that's 20 minutes away from the hotel..." and I had a bit of an "oh shit" moment.

Late to the game here, but...

Talk to the sales people at the hotel where you're having your block of rooms booked. Ours provides a free shuttle to and from the venue all night as long as we have 10 or more rooms booked a month in advance, but I had to ask for it specifically. I'm going to let guests know about the shuttle on the wedding site - though if they stay elsewhere, they're going to have to find their own way.

MissKittyDanger · August 2015

For our wedding, we took action on who was driving. My husband and I anticipated having to cab, but one of my bridesmaids doesn't drink so she offered to drive us and her boyfriend {who was a groomsmen} so it worked out that way. But we did our best on trying to be sure "oh you're going near X place? would you be able to drive X person?"

it wasn't being voluntold, because many said no due to timing etc etc. But we put our effort in. {side note: our venue couldn't do shuttle, they have been working on trying to get a company and haven't been successful}

sparklepants41 · August 2015

MissKittyDanger said:

For our wedding, we took action on who was driving. My husband and I anticipated having to cab, but one of my bridesmaids doesn't drink so she offered to drive us and her boyfriend {who was a groomsmen} so it worked out that way. But we did our best on trying to be sure "oh you're going near X place? would you be able to drive X person?"
it wasn't being voluntold, because many said no due to timing etc etc. But we put our effort in. {side note: our venue couldn't do shuttle, they have been working on trying to get a company and haven't been successful}

If people offer, that is one thing. However, asking someone if they would be able to do something pretty much is volun-telling someone for that errand/task, because people feel rude saying no in that situation.

When my SIL married H's brother, H was the best man. I was asked by SIL if I could pick up a GM I had never met, and asked if I could take guest books/flower arrangements from the church to the reception (because I was going there anyway). Not really a situation where I felt comfortable saying no, although I was pretty peeved to be given jobs to do.

MissKittyDanger · August 2015

sparklepants41 said:

show previous quotes

MissKittyDanger said:

For our wedding, we took action on who was driving. My husband and I anticipated having to cab, but one of my bridesmaids doesn't drink so she offered to drive us and her boyfriend {who was a groomsmen} so it worked out that way. But we did our best on trying to be sure "oh you're going near X place? would you be able to drive X person?"
it wasn't being voluntold, because many said no due to timing etc etc. But we put our effort in. {side note: our venue couldn't do shuttle, they have been working on trying to get a company and haven't been successful}

If people offer, that is one thing. However, asking someone if they would be able to do something pretty much is volun-telling someone for that errand/task, because people feel rude saying no in that situation.
When my SIL married H's brother, H was the best man. I was asked by SIL if I could pick up a GM I had never met, and asked if I could take guest books/flower arrangements from the church to the reception (because I was going there anyway). Not really a situation where I felt comfortable saying no, although I was pretty peeved to be given jobs to do.

From who we could, we did a round of "who wants to drink and who wants to be DD?" It was mainly the younger crowd we had to worry about in the end. just wanted to be sure everyone was safe!

Don't make your guests be chauffeurs!

Re: Don't make your guests be chauffeurs!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards