Gratuity Question

amt6 · August 2015

Hi! My facility includes gratuity in our package, but said that we can (read: should) tip our maitre d, captain, and bridal attendant. I am wondering how much is an appropriate tip if gratuity is already included, and this is just a bit extra?

Also - do you tip your vendors if they own the company? My photographer, videographer, band director, florist, etc. all own their own companies.

Thanks!

Jen4948 · August 2015

You don't tip owners of companies. Nor should you be expected to add tips to "included" gratuities, but if your venue is indicating that these people they're suggesting requiring you to tip won't be receiving any of their added gratuity, I think it would be a nice gesture to tip them for good service.

Iamnowmrsjms · August 2015

Jen4948 said:

You don't tip owners of companies. Nor should you be expected to add tips to "included" gratuities, but if your venue is indicating that these people they're suggesting requiring you to tip won't be receiving any of their added gratuity, I think it would be a nice gesture to tip them for good service.

Question-would you tip the band? they're not really a company, per say...right? There are 5 members in our band.

TIA

ScottishSarah · August 2015

Our suppliers have gratuities built into their packages. However, as we both work in a restaurant it was important for us to be able to reward staff for good service.

We are tipping hair/make up the usual percentage, then cooks/servers/bartenders a share of roughly 10% of the total F&B costs. In addition we have a few £100's of extra gratuities built into the budget to allow us to tip on top of this to anyone that REALLY makes our day. But at this stage we don't know if this will all go to one person, (like the DOC or caterer) or be split between the staff.

You don't normally tip business owners but we might in the case of our DOC or Caterer as they have been super helpful so far and really seem to care about our wedding.

I am planning to buy some small cards so I can write a thank you message to the staff with the tip.

Speaking as a server myself who has worked at many weddings, additional tips are not expected when included in the contract, but always appreciated. However, a nice card and favourable review are equally appreciated. I have been given bouquets of flowers before from happy brides and let me tell you, that is so awesome that I barely look at the cash in the envelope that accompanies the flowers! I'm just to touched to be given them!!!

The best gift of all however is a nice review or referral.

HTH

xx

ScottishSarah · August 2015

We are not tipping the band, we are just going to make sure they have a good meal on arrival and access to the bar. (Yes these guys like a beer or 4!)

futuremrsjms said:

Jen4948 said:

You don't tip owners of companies. Nor should you be expected to add tips to "included" gratuities, but if your venue is indicating that these people they're suggesting requiring you to tip won't be receiving any of their added gratuity, I think it would be a nice gesture to tip them for good service.

Question-would you tip the band? they're not really a company, per say...right? There are 5 members in our band.
TIA

Jen4948 · August 2015

futuremrsjms said:

Jen4948 said:

You don't tip owners of companies. Nor should you be expected to add tips to "included" gratuities, but if your venue is indicating that these people they're suggesting requiring you to tip won't be receiving any of their added gratuity, I think it would be a nice gesture to tip them for good service.

Question-would you tip the band? they're not really a company, per say...right? There are 5 members in our band.

TIA

No, because the services they're providing are more personal and presumably they're already under contract to provide them.

Iamnowmrsjms · August 2015

Thank you, @ScottishSarah! We are of course providing them a meal (w the same choices that our guests have). We are having an open bar, but I didn't think that applied to vendors other than non alcoholic beverages. I mean, they are working, and I don't drink on the job!

ETA for punctuation

ScottishSarah · August 2015

Our band bloody do! LOL. I've booked them twice before so I know what they're like. But they do rock!

[Deleted User] · August 2015

Here is my view on tipping people who are business owners like your photographer. By not tipping them for an outstanding job done, you are telling them because they decided to take the risk and go out on their own instead of working for someone else. If your hair stylist happen to be the salon owner, do you not tip them when you get your regular cut and/or color done? I personally think that a vendor should be tipped for doing an outstanding job and not based on if they are an employee of someone or if they are a business owner. They still but the same amount of time into doing a great job and providing you with a great service. To me, a vendor not getting a tip should be determined by if they do a great job or not.

huskypuppy14 · August 2015

My photographer owns his own business, and I still tipped him (after we got our pictures). You can tip whoever you want. I tipped the florist when he delivered the flowers, too. My MUA too.

Is the captain your own server, or is she/he the head of the waitstaff? We had our own server, who we tipped extra ($50) though we were never told we had to. I didn't tip our coordinator who came with the venue, though I did write a thank you note to her.

Jen4948 · August 2015

Erikan73 said:

Here is my view on tipping people who are business owners like your photographer. By not tipping them for an outstanding job done, you are telling them because they decided to take the risk and go out on their own instead of working for someone else. If your hair stylist happen to be the salon owner, do you not tip them when you get your regular cut and/or color done? I personally think that a vendor should be tipped for doing an outstanding job and not based on if they are an employee of someone or if they are a business owner. They still but the same amount of time into doing a great job and providing you with a great service. To me, a vendor not getting a tip should be determined by if they do a great job or not.

I disagree, because every vendor is supposed to do a "great" job. That's why you sign contracts with them. They also have control over the fees they charge you, including for "mandatory" gratuities.

It's the people who work for the vendors who may not get recognition from the owners for the "great" jobs they do who should be tipped. They get no control other than to show up, do their jobs, and hope to get paid.

lyndausvi · August 2015

amt6 said:

Hi! My facility includes gratuity in our package, but said that we can (read: should) tip our maitre d, captain, and bridal attendant. I am wondering how much is an appropriate tip if gratuity is already included, and this is just a bit extra?
Also - do you tip your vendors if they own the company? My photographer, videographer, band director, florist, etc. all own their own companies.
Thanks!

maitre'd, captains are not generally part of the tip pool. Most of the time it's only the waitstaff and bar tenders. In some states it's against the law for non-servers to be part of a tip pool. They are allowed to accept tips directly from customers (and often get them), but not part of tip pools. If they do a good job I would throw them a $50-100 each. Not sure what a bridal attendant does. I guess my tip would be based on what they actually do.

We tipped people who did a good job. Regardless if they owned the business or not. The photographer we did not tip however. Once we received the proofs back we bought our prints from him instead of taking it to a less expensive place. Our reasoning was it was like a tip since we knew he had a higher markup.

ScottishSarah · August 2015

What is a Bridal Attendant? I want one now!

SP29 · August 2015

I'm with Erikan73- I believe in tipping because of service beyond expectations (yes, everyone should provide great service for the price paid), so we tipped based on that.

Our venue had an included gratuity, so we did not tip anyone extra at the venue (but we didn't have a Captain, or Bridal Attendant, etc).

Our DJ, photographer, and cake baker all owned their own business. We tipped our DJ and cake baker because we were more than happy with the service. Our photographer we did not.

Our florist worked for a business, we did not tip because DH wasn't entirely happy with the boutonnieres and their communication wasn't the best. Nothing was BAD, but we felt we were provided the basic level of service we paid for so did not tip additionally.

amt6 · August 2015

Thank you so much for your feedback!! I spoke with the banquet hall today and they gave me some insight as to suggested tips. As someone mentioned, I have a suspicion that the bridal attendant, captain, and matrie'd are not part of the "tipping pool," which is why they recommend additional gratuity.

For those that asked, our facility provides a bridal attendant to specifically tend to the bride, groom, and bridal party. If we want water, we ask them and they will get it. Sort of like a day-of butler. I can't wait

As for photographer, band, etc. I think we have decided to forego tipping unless they do an exceptional job. For example, our band is putting together a special song for my fiance and I, and because they will be going above and beyond, I think they deserve a gratuity. As for the photographer and videographer who own their own companies, we will likely not provide a gratuity as every penny we pay goes directly into their pockets, though we may change our minds on that when we get the finished product.

huskypuppy14 · August 2015

amt6 said:

Thank you so much for your feedback!! I spoke with the banquet hall today and they gave me some insight as to suggested tips. As someone mentioned, I have a suspicion that the bridal attendant, captain, and matrie'd are not part of the "tipping pool," which is why they recommend additional gratuity.

For those that asked, our facility provides a bridal attendant to specifically tend to the bride, groom, and bridal party. If we want water, we ask them and they will get it. Sort of like a day-of butler. I can't wait

As for photographer, band, etc. I think we have decided to forego tipping unless they do an exceptional job. For example, our band is putting together a special song for my fiance and I, and because they will be going above and beyond, I think they deserve a gratuity. As for the photographer and videographer who own their own companies, we will likely not provide a gratuity as every penny we pay goes directly into their pockets, though we may change our minds on that when we get the finished product.

Definitely tip the bridal attendant.

Also, just because the photographers are getting all the money, doesn't mean it's full profit. They still have to pay for their supplies, insurance, etc.

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