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September 2015 Weddings

RSVP's are so stressful!

Our RSVP deadline was yesterday.  We're still waiting for around 30 back (so 60 people total).  Most are from FI's side and are OOT guests, so a majority will be no's (par for the course so far).

What irks me the most is that I'm still waiting on two friends to RSVP, who got married last year.  I mean, do people get amnesia after their wedding and forget how stressful it is planning a wedding? I'm giving it until the mail comes on Sat and then following up w people we haven't heard from (FI will take care of his side, which is the majority)

We invited 170 and it looks like we will have around 100 (not including vendors) which I think is a great number.  I feel like we'll get to see everyone and not be super overwhelmed. 

Is anyone else really annoyed about people not sending RSVP's back in time? We sent STD's out in Jan, so IMO, people decided at that point whether or not they were coming, why hang on to the reply card?

Sorry, had to get that off my chest :)

Re: RSVP's are so stressful!

  • thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler Chattanooga, TN member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I made a huge mistake by not putting an RSVP by date on the reception cards. Whoops.

    But, yes, waiting for people to RSVP is annoying. So far I have gotten about 100 RSVPs and my invitations went out about 3 weeks ago. I've had plenty of friends and random people respond, it's my family that is the problem! They are all very last minute people and more than likely assume that I just "know" they are coming. I'll definitely be following up about a week or week and a half before hand.

  • I made a huge mistake by not putting an RSVP by date on the reception cards. Whoops.

    But, yes, waiting for people to RSVP is annoying. So far I have gotten about 100 RSVPs and my invitations went out about 3 weeks ago. I've had plenty of friends and random people respond, it's my family that is the problem! They are all very last minute people and more than likely assume that I just "know" they are coming. I'll definitely be following up about a week or week and a half before hand.
    We need a final count and payment to our venue 3 weeks prior, which is 9/5, so we made the deadline 8/25, so we had time to track down any we didn't receive back.
  • thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler Chattanooga, TN member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer

    I made a huge mistake by not putting an RSVP by date on the reception cards. Whoops.

    But, yes, waiting for people to RSVP is annoying. So far I have gotten about 100 RSVPs and my invitations went out about 3 weeks ago. I've had plenty of friends and random people respond, it's my family that is the problem! They are all very last minute people and more than likely assume that I just "know" they are coming. I'll definitely be following up about a week or week and a half before hand.
    We need a final count and payment to our venue 3 weeks prior, which is 9/5, so we made the deadline 8/25, so we had time to track down any we didn't receive back.
    Good idea! My venue doesn't need a head count, but my caterer does. We are using a local BBQ restaurant so thankfully they don't need a head count until 4 days before the wedding, September 16th.

  • We hounded people until they responded.  I agree, past Brides need to be the first to respond!  We planned on 150 guest and got 187.  Yikes!  That killed my nice budget.  Now for them to show up in 9 days.  

    I said I am going to invoice those who "no show"  LOL.
  • We hounded people until they responded.  I agree, past Brides need to be the first to respond!  We planned on 150 guest and got 187.  Yikes!  That killed my nice budget.  Now for them to show up in 9 days.  

    I said I am going to invoice those who "no show"  LOL.
    Not to mention one past bride who responded at the last minute is FI's brother and his wife.  She is having a baby 3 weeks before our wedding and will not be attending (it's a 6 hr drive for them).
  • NowIamMrsKleinNowIamMrsKlein Cold Canadian North (British Columbia) member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I got 'maybe' RSVPs. Several of them

    Maybe.

    Who on earth actually thinks that this is an acceptable response????
    image
    creato2304
  • I am getting stressed out by RVSPs as well.
    The deadline that we gave is the 31st... That's only 5 day away. And we are still waiting to get about 40 RVSPs back.

    image
  • I got 'maybe' RSVPs. Several of them

    Maybe.

    Who on earth actually thinks that this is an acceptable response????
    OMG  I can't even!
  • thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler Chattanooga, TN member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I got 'maybe' RSVPs. Several of them

    Maybe.

    Who on earth actually thinks that this is an acceptable response????
    Somebody stop this madness!!! In that case, maybe you will get food, and maybe you won't ;) I mean honestly!

    Iamnowmrsjms
  • NowIamMrsKleinNowIamMrsKlein Cold Canadian North (British Columbia) member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I got 'maybe' RSVPs. Several of them

    Maybe.

    Who on earth actually thinks that this is an acceptable response????
    Somebody stop this madness!!! In that case, maybe you will get food, and maybe you won't ;) I mean honestly!


    I also had someone RSVP No, and then the very next day had a status on FB how they really wanted to come to our wedding and does anyone have any airline points they could donate.

    And I was like. Wait. You JUST rsvp'd No. While completely tacky and you shouldnt be asking someone else to pay your way at all, shouldn't you be asking BEFORE the rsvp deadline, and BEFORE you tell me you aren't coming?
    image
  • @SoontobeMrsKlein YIKES! I just don't get some people! SMH...
  • I spent a lot of time reminding and hassling people. I don't believe people sweat it as much as you think they do. Sure if might be a little annoying to have someone ask, 'So are you coming?, So are you coming?' but in the end it's the guest's fault if they missed out because they didn't respond to your invite. 

    Maybe instead of doing the task yourself assign it to someone you trust to contact the people that haven't responded yet? Could make it easier on yourself. 
  • julieanne912julieanne912 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited August 2015
    We are 2 weeks out (deadline was a week ago).  At the deadline date, we had about 60 no responses.  We've tracked down all but 12 of them, who STILL haven't responded.  One of the non-responding couples is getting married in October... I hope RSVP karma bites them in the ass when it comes time for theirs haha.  

    One of my good friends, who RSVPd in the first week, said "Once you get married, you always RSVP quickly after that".... not true!!!

    The other fun one is families RSVPing with their kids (who were invited) but adding a note "We won't bring the kids if we can find a sitter".  It's like great, so I'll be paying for your kid's meal, even if you find a last minute sitter....
    Married 9.12.15
    image
  • thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler Chattanooga, TN member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Yeah I had someone RSVP for her and her kids last night (who were not invited). Argh. I wanted to keep it as kid free as possible.. Only family members got invites for the whole family. Oh well. She is such a sweet woman and has been mine and my FI's cheerleader since day 1. I just couldn't tell her no.

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    We had someone RSVP late yes then one week prior to wedding (just days after final count was due) backed out. Keep in mind this was just a week after having RSVP'd yes. If they were that unsure they should've just said no to begin with! 
  • @beckertobe you are too nice! We are having a kid free wedding, (no kids in the family and not having a ring bearer or flower girl) so I wouldn't have a problem telling a friend that the invite was only meantt for her and hubby (if she has one) Luckily, most of my friends are excited for a night out w/o their kids, so we didn't have anyone RSVP w kids.
    I texted the 2 friends I didn't get a reply back from and one of them told me they put it in the mail on Mon and sadly couldn't go (still haven't received it, but whatever), my other friend didn't even reply to my text, which I find incredibly rude, so I guess she's not coming! It's fine she's not coming, but at least tell me so and say you wish you could be there or something! So RUDE to not even reply to my text! GRR
  • I just had someone from FI's side FB message me and tell me they found the reply card in their sons car and put it in the mail today.  They're coming and hope it's not too late! Luckily, we we're meeting w our venue next wknd to give them the final count, so it wasn't too late! Happy we got 2 more from FI's side.  They're all OOT, so the majority is my friends and fam.
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