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Etiquette

Talk about an out of order timeline

So I normally just read for entertainment value. When I got married last year these boards definitely helped!

But, saw this on Facebook tonight and just had to share!

"This is the big weekend for my family. My oldest son is marrying his soul mate. I am beyond thrilled they will become one this Sunday. Tonight we are having the rehearsal, tomorrow night is the reception, and then the big day on Sunday."

Re: Talk about an out of order timeline

  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    So I normally just read for entertainment value. When I got married last year these boards definitely helped! But, saw this on Facebook tonight and just had to share! "This is the big weekend for my family. My oldest son is marrying his soul mate. I am beyond thrilled they will become one this Sunday. Tonight we are having the rehearsal, tomorrow night is the reception, and then the big day on Sunday."
    Maybe she means welcome reception for the out of town guests? One could only hope.
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    SP29
  • Yeah, lets hope it's a welcome reception.

    I suppose though, as long as every guest is invited to both well hosted reception + ceremony, it wouldn't be the worst thing ever (not to me). Though still obviously rude as you are requiring your guests to attend two separate events and turning your guests' weekend into an "IT'S ALL ABOUT US WEEKEND!!!". 
  • SP29 said:
    Yeah, lets hope it's a welcome reception.

    I suppose though, as long as every guest is invited to both well hosted reception + ceremony, it wouldn't be the worst thing ever (not to me). Though still obviously rude as you are requiring your guests to attend two separate events and turning your guests' weekend into an "IT'S ALL ABOUT US WEEKEND!!!". 
    Where does it say they're required to attend anything? At least some portion of a wedding guest list will likely travel. For those people, it's nice to have a welcome reception and/or dinner they can attend if they choose. I fail to see how this is an "it's all about us weekend" mentality and in general, I think the concept of the AW is way overplayed in threads. This is an example.
  • May14TXbrideMay14TXbride member
    Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    edited September 2015


    SP29 said:

    Yeah, lets hope it's a welcome reception.

    I suppose though, as long as every guest is invited to both well hosted reception + ceremony, it wouldn't be the worst thing ever (not to me). Though still obviously rude as you are requiring your guests to attend two separate events and turning your guests' weekend into an "IT'S ALL ABOUT US WEEKEND!!!". 

    Where does it say they're required to attend anything? At least some portion of a wedding guest list will likely travel. For those people, it's nice to have a welcome reception and/or dinner they can attend if they choose. I fail to see how this is an "it's all about us weekend" mentality and in general, I think the concept of the AW is way overplayed in threads. This is an example.



    ****boxes****
    I'm not invited, so I'm not exactly sure. But I'm pretty sure today's events are NOT a "welcome" reception. It is the reception that should be hosted after the actual ceremony tomorrow.
    SP29InLoveInQueens
  • SP29 said:
    Yeah, lets hope it's a welcome reception.

    I suppose though, as long as every guest is invited to both well hosted reception + ceremony, it wouldn't be the worst thing ever (not to me). Though still obviously rude as you are requiring your guests to attend two separate events and turning your guests' weekend into an "IT'S ALL ABOUT US WEEKEND!!!". 
    Where does it say they're required to attend anything? At least some portion of a wedding guest list will likely travel. For those people, it's nice to have a welcome reception and/or dinner they can attend if they choose. I fail to see how this is an "it's all about us weekend" mentality and in general, I think the concept of the AW is way overplayed in threads. This is an example.
    I was referring to the possibility that the B&G are having their wedding reception on the Saturday and the ceremony on the Sunday, which is what this post is about, not a welcome dinner. Nothing to do at all with a welcome dinner. 


    InLoveInQueens
  • SP29 said:
    SP29 said:
    Yeah, lets hope it's a welcome reception.

    I suppose though, as long as every guest is invited to both well hosted reception + ceremony, it wouldn't be the worst thing ever (not to me). Though still obviously rude as you are requiring your guests to attend two separate events and turning your guests' weekend into an "IT'S ALL ABOUT US WEEKEND!!!". 
    Where does it say they're required to attend anything? At least some portion of a wedding guest list will likely travel. For those people, it's nice to have a welcome reception and/or dinner they can attend if they choose. I fail to see how this is an "it's all about us weekend" mentality and in general, I think the concept of the AW is way overplayed in threads. This is an example.
    I was referring to the possibility that the B&G are having their wedding reception on the Saturday and the ceremony on the Sunday, which is what this post is about, not a welcome dinner. Nothing to do at all with a welcome dinner. 


    Your post said "let's hope it's a welcome reception," then you went on to still call it rude, so that's what I was referring to. IF  it's a welcome reception, I don't find it rude at all.

  • SP29 said:




    SP29 said:

    Yeah, lets hope it's a welcome reception.

    I suppose though, as long as every guest is invited to both well hosted reception + ceremony, it wouldn't be the worst thing ever (not to me). Though still obviously rude as you are requiring your guests to attend two separate events and turning your guests' weekend into an "IT'S ALL ABOUT US WEEKEND!!!". 

    Where does it say they're required to attend anything? At least some portion of a wedding guest list will likely travel. For those people, it's nice to have a welcome reception and/or dinner they can attend if they choose. I fail to see how this is an "it's all about us weekend" mentality and in general, I think the concept of the AW is way overplayed in threads. This is an example.

    I was referring to the possibility that the B&G are having their wedding reception on the Saturday and the ceremony on the Sunday, which is what this post is about, not a welcome dinner. Nothing to do at all with a welcome dinner. 





    Your post said "let's hope it's a welcome reception," then you went on to still call it rude, so that's what I was referring to. IF  it's a welcome reception, I don't find it rude at all.



    I'm pretty sure SP was meaning hopefully it is a welcome reception, but knowing more than likely it is not, makes the event rude
    SP29InLoveInQueensHeffalumpmadamerwin
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited September 2015
    SP29 said:
    SP29 said:
    Yeah, lets hope it's a welcome reception.

    I suppose though, as long as every guest is invited to both well hosted reception + ceremony, it wouldn't be the worst thing ever (not to me). Though still obviously rude as you are requiring your guests to attend two separate events and turning your guests' weekend into an "IT'S ALL ABOUT US WEEKEND!!!". 
    Where does it say they're required to attend anything? At least some portion of a wedding guest list will likely travel. For those people, it's nice to have a welcome reception and/or dinner they can attend if they choose. I fail to see how this is an "it's all about us weekend" mentality and in general, I think the concept of the AW is way overplayed in threads. This is an example.
    I was referring to the possibility that the B&G are having their wedding reception on the Saturday and the ceremony on the Sunday, which is what this post is about, not a welcome dinner. Nothing to do at all with a welcome dinner. 


    Your post said "let's hope it's a welcome reception," then you went on to still call it rude, so that's what I was referring to. IF  it's a welcome reception, I don't find it rude at all.
    No I didn't.

    There are two separate paragraphs; a new paragraph signifies a new subject. 

    I said let's hope it's a welcome reception, because it is not clear what kind of reception it is. Let's hope it's a welcome reception, because that would not be rude. Welcome reception away! 

    My second paragraph, where I said reception + ceremony, I meant wedding reception. I was referring back to the main part of the original post, where it sounds like the couple has chosen to have their wedding reception on the Saturday night and their ceremony on the Sunday. This would be rude as it is the ultimate gap. A wedding reception and ceremony are supposed to be one event. Sure, a guest can decline one or the other, but it puts the guest in an awkward situation about which event to attend (and we've seen this exact situation posted about on the etiquette boards). 

    I pointed this out, as we are on the etiquette board, and I can see why the OP is thinking, "what are they doing???". But I also said if it is an etiquette breech, *I* don't think it's the worst thing ever, as long as both events (because that's what they are now, 2 separate events) are properly hosted. 
    pinupbride6189
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    The reception is supposed to be immediately after the ceremony because the reception is a thank you for attending your ceremony. It's rude to have a gap between the two events when they are on the same day, but having them on differnt days is AW and rude.
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    SP29
  • anjemonanjemon Minnie and Paul (MN) member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    I'm sorry, but my head just went crazy on how time consuming and expensive it would be to have your actual ceremony and reception on different days.

    Do the bride and maids get their hair/makeup done for both days? Can you clean your dresses/tuxes between events (because dancing and drinking = sweating)? Or do you need a different outfit for the ceremony? As a guest I probably don't feel right wearing the same dress to two events two days in a row, so I'll need two different outfits that are both fancy-ish. 

    And then there's the time. As an introvert I'll go all out on your wedding day, but both H and I mostly prefer to spend the next day in our house doing our thing. Two days of events means I don't get much a chance to have down time before I have to go back to work. 

    If we're traveling, H has a thing about getting up crazy early to start home. So we don't get to leave until after the ceremony which means if we're flying or traveling a few hours away we don't get home until late.

    And that's not even mentioning the time spent getting dressed up for two events, traveling to said event, or time spent waiting around because the ceremony isn't until 2:00 and you're hanging out at a hotel waiting for it to happen.

    Or the fact that you're making your guests feel bad about having to chose one event or the other. We had a whole debate on here about whether it was rude to only go to the reception and not the ceremony. This way you're basically guaranteeing there will be people who have to work during one or the other. Or travel. Or just can't do two days worth of events. 
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  • spockforprezspockforprez Virginia member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited September 2015
    Is it possible the wedding is an Indian wedding or some other traditionally multi-day event? Maybe the mom just used the wrong terms, if maybe the bride's family is Indian and her family isn't.

    If not, I agree that it's a very bizarre way to accomplish the Sunday church wedding + Saturday evening party vision.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Is it possible the wedding is an Indian wedding or some other traditionally multi-day event? Maybe the mom just used the wrong terms, if maybe the bride's family is Indian and her family isn't.


    If not, I agree that it's a very bizarre way to accomplish the Sunday church wedding + Saturday evening party vision.
    Nope, it was not due to a multi cultural event. I saw some photos on Facebook. Looks like they did go to a restaurant for a meal after the ceremony too, so hopefully everyone was included in that and it was just an extra event.
    SP29
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