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Snarky Brides

Take Them a Meal (NWR)

edited September 2015 in Snarky Brides
Fiance's cousin's husband had surgery today. She posted a link on her Facebook page to some website where people can sign up to make/deliver or have delivered food to them.

Now look. I know this can be helpful and people may volunteer to do this often for ill friends or people who just had a baby.

But am I the only one who thinks it's a little OTT to basically have a registry for this service?

Do tell me if I'm out of line with my snark.

ETF missing words.

Re: Take Them a Meal (NWR)

  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    Fiance's cousin's husband had surgery today. She posted a link on her Facebook page to some website where people can sign up to make/deliver or have delivered food to them. Now look. I know this can be helpful and people may volunteer to do this often for I'll friends or people who just had a baby. But am I the only one who thinks it's a little OTT to basically have a registry for this service? Do tell me if I'm out of line with my snark. ETF missing words.
    I concur. I would side-eye this as well. 
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    [Deleted User]
  • JediElizabethJediElizabeth member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited September 2015
    Does she have family? Like, I don't care what you need, I always think you should call your mom/dad/sibling/adult child/best friend for that if you're desperate and they don't offer. You should not put it on you're FB page for acquaintances/old friends you don't talk to anymore/distant relatives to see, too.

    Isn't she embarrassed by this?

    Edted to make sense.
  • edited September 2015
    @CElizabeth419 they are military are don't live in the same state as any of their relatives, so no, no one is near them.

    I think I'm side eyeing this a little harder too because she's a SAHM and home schools her kids. Yep- it's a big job, but it's not like she has to be in two places at once like a working parent would. They frequently rearrange their schedule to accommodate family activities (a post last week had dad and the kids out at midnight waiting for new Star Wars gear or something with a comment about how they'd be schooling in the afternoon so the kids could catch up on sleep after the long night out).

    I mean, this was a planned surgery and you took the summer off from schooling. You couldn't make yourself some frozen meals leading up to this?!
    JediElizabethspeakeasy14[Deleted User]
  • @CElizabeth419 they are military are don't live in the same state as any of their relatives, so no, no one is near them.

    I think I'm side eyeing this a little harder too because she's a SAHM and home schools her kids. Yep- it's a big job, but it's not like she has to be in two places at once like a working parent would. They frequently rearrange their schedule to accommodate family activities (a post last week had dad and the kids out at midnight waiting for new Star Wars gear or something with a comment about how they'd be schooling in the afternoon so the kids could catch up on sleep after the long night out).

    I mean, this was a planned surgery and you took the summer off from schooling. You couldn't make yourself some frozen meals leading up to this?!

    Ugh. At the beginning of your comment I was going to say I stood corrected, but nope. Just rolling my eyes here instead.
    [Deleted User]
  • That's lame... Stinks the dad is out of commission for a few weeks on the couch (right?) Reminds me of a gofundme for yourself.


    [Deleted User]
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I would send them a link to Papa Johns or Dominos.

    [Deleted User]lnixon8Teddy917hellohkb
  • Did she have surgery as well? Or is she infirm in any way?

    If not, I would do what @Maggie0829 suggested - or offer to let her borrow my takeout menus.

  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    It's presumptuous, is what it is. It's lovely when people offer to help you, but you figure it out on your own if no one offers. 

    The other snarky comments bring to mind one of my favorite responses to a conversation about cooking/baking. Folks were saying, "Oh, I make a great blah blah with yadda yadda," and another woman replied, "I make reservations." Bwahahaa.
    ________________________________


    sparklepants41[Deleted User]Teddy917
  • Did she have surgery as well? Or is she infirm in any way?

    If not, I would do what @Maggie0829 suggested - or offer to let her borrow my takeout menus.

    She is fine as far as I know.  Also, they have a little woodworking business that they run together.  She posted yesterday evening that b/c her H had surgery they couldn't do any major builds for a while, but she could still make x, y, z because they are simple and to keep placing orders for those items. 

    So yeah- I'm rolling my eyes hard on this one.
    speakeasy14
  • What I side-eye is that she did this for herself. At our church, people set up these websites for people to sign up to bring food to other people (new moms, sick people, people who have had deaths in the family). It saves having to make a ton of phone calls and you can also see what other people are preparing thus cutting down on duplicate meals. So I don't see anything wrong with a website being set up, I just don't think she should have done it for herself!
    [Deleted User]TheCheeseWenchlc07
  • @CElizabeth419 they are military are don't live in the same state as any of their relatives, so no, no one is near them.

    I think I'm side eyeing this a little harder too because she's a SAHM and home schools her kids. Yep- it's a big job, but it's not like she has to be in two places at once like a working parent would. They frequently rearrange their schedule to accommodate family activities (a post last week had dad and the kids out at midnight waiting for new Star Wars gear or something with a comment about how they'd be schooling in the afternoon so the kids could catch up on sleep after the long night out).

    I mean, this was a planned surgery and you took the summer off from schooling. You couldn't make yourself some frozen meals leading up to this?!

    I don't know about most people but I don't live near half my facebook friends. So I don't see how that solves her problem of not living near family that can help.
    @ILoveBeachMusic I agree. In my church, there is always a sign up sheet for meals for someone who got sick/had surgery/had a baby/lost a job. So I think if someone were to do the same thing with a website, that would be fine. But you (general you) shouldn't do it yourself.
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Major side-eyeing going on over here.


    She didn't have the surgery.  She is a SAHM.  The surgery was planned. Let her cook her own meals for her family.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I don't side eye that concept but I do here. There are timesome doing this, makes plenty of sense.

    This is not one of those times.
  • @CElizabeth419 they are military are don't live in the same state as any of their relatives, so no, no one is near them. I think I'm side eyeing this a little harder too because she's a SAHM and home schools her kids. Yep- it's a big job, but it's not like she has to be in two places at once like a working parent would. They frequently rearrange their schedule to accommodate family activities (a post last week had dad and the kids out at midnight waiting for new Star Wars gear or something with a comment about how they'd be schooling in the afternoon so the kids could catch up on sleep after the long night out). I mean, this was a planned surgery and you took the summer off from schooling. You couldn't make yourself some frozen meals leading up to this?!
    In that case, their HIS (THEY are not military; he is) fellow service members should be taking care of them. When I was in, if one of my Marines was having a medical issue (anything from being sick in quarters from the flu to surgery), I'd check in on them and make sure they had chow.

    If she is a stay at home parent/spouse, she should have planned food with surgery upcoming in mind. Heck, when I know my FI (who is still active duty) will be home an extra day, I make sure to buy more breakfast/lunch food for us. I'm home more, therefore it's typically my responsibility to take care of that.

    I'd side-eye the heck outta this, personally. Are they not grown ups?





  • That is... Very weird, I agree.


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  • @CElizabeth419 they are military are don't live in the same state as any of their relatives, so no, no one is near them. I think I'm side eyeing this a little harder too because she's a SAHM and home schools her kids. Yep- it's a big job, but it's not like she has to be in two places at once like a working parent would. They frequently rearrange their schedule to accommodate family activities (a post last week had dad and the kids out at midnight waiting for new Star Wars gear or something with a comment about how they'd be schooling in the afternoon so the kids could catch up on sleep after the long night out). I mean, this was a planned surgery and you took the summer off from schooling. You couldn't make yourself some frozen meals leading up to this?!
    In that case, their HIS (THEY are not military; he is) fellow service members should be taking care of them. When I was in, if one of my Marines was having a medical issue (anything from being sick in quarters from the flu to surgery), I'd check in on them and make sure they had chow.

    If she is a stay at home parent/spouse, she should have planned food with surgery upcoming in mind. Heck, when I know my FI (who is still active duty) will be home an extra day, I make sure to buy more breakfast/lunch food for us. I'm home more, therefore it's typically my responsibility to take care of that.

    I'd side-eye the heck outta this, personally. Are they not grown ups?
    I kinda wondered this too.  Since when does the military community not step up and take care of their buddy?  Agree that since she is SAHM and the surgery was planned, she should have planned much better.  Hell, HE should have planned much better!
    randomsloveTheCheeseWench
  • kmmssg said:





    @CElizabeth419 they are military are don't live in the same state as any of their relatives, so no, no one is near them.

    I think I'm side eyeing this a little harder too because she's a SAHM and home schools her kids. Yep- it's a big job, but it's not like she has to be in two places at once like a working parent would. They frequently rearrange their schedule to accommodate family activities (a post last week had dad and the kids out at midnight waiting for new Star Wars gear or something with a comment about how they'd be schooling in the afternoon so the kids could catch up on sleep after the long night out).

    I mean, this was a planned surgery and you took the summer off from schooling. You couldn't make yourself some frozen meals leading up to this?!

    In that case, their HIS (THEY are not military; he is) fellow service members should be taking care of them. When I was in, if one of my Marines was having a medical issue (anything from being sick in quarters from the flu to surgery), I'd check in on them and make sure they had chow.

    If she is a stay at home parent/spouse, she should have planned food with surgery upcoming in mind. Heck, when I know my FI (who is still active duty) will be home an extra day, I make sure to buy more breakfast/lunch food for us. I'm home more, therefore it's typically my responsibility to take care of that.

    I'd side-eye the heck outta this, personally. Are they not grown ups?

    I kinda wondered this too.  Since when does the military community not step up and take care of their buddy?  Agree that since she is SAHM and the surgery was planned, she should have planned much better.  Hell, HE should have planned much better!


    Maybe they feel they are stepping up by signing up on the list...?
  • @CElizabeth419 they are military are don't live in the same state as any of their relatives, so no, no one is near them. I think I'm side eyeing this a little harder too because she's a SAHM and home schools her kids. Yep- it's a big job, but it's not like she has to be in two places at once like a working parent would. They frequently rearrange their schedule to accommodate family activities (a post last week had dad and the kids out at midnight waiting for new Star Wars gear or something with a comment about how they'd be schooling in the afternoon so the kids could catch up on sleep after the long night out). I mean, this was a planned surgery and you took the summer off from schooling. You couldn't make yourself some frozen meals leading up to this?!
    In that case, their HIS (THEY are not military; he is) fellow service members should be taking care of them. When I was in, if one of my Marines was having a medical issue (anything from being sick in quarters from the flu to surgery), I'd check in on them and make sure they had chow.

    If she is a stay at home parent/spouse, she should have planned food with surgery upcoming in mind. Heck, when I know my FI (who is still active duty) will be home an extra day, I make sure to buy more breakfast/lunch food for us. I'm home more, therefore it's typically my responsibility to take care of that.

    I'd side-eye the heck outta this, personally. Are they not grown ups?
    I kinda wondered this too.  Since when does the military community not step up and take care of their buddy?  Agree that since she is SAHM and the surgery was planned, she should have planned much better.  Hell, HE should have planned much better!
    Maybe they feel they are stepping up by signing up on the list...?


    I won't speak for randomslove but in my 26 years of service you step up for your fellow Soldier - on your own.  If any of my subordinates were to fall ill, you can bet we all rallied around to take care of him/her and their family.  To be honest though, few if any of my Soldiers had SAHS.  Even if they would have, I would have taken meals over or check on lawn care, kids, groceries, etc since that spouse is taking care of the sick one. 

    TBH - I would keep it in the back of my mind that maybe the Soldier didn't know their spouse put them on a meal request/deliver site, but I would also wonder why they didn't have that taken care of ahead of time (think freezer meals).  That is a leadership issue.  Doesn't stop at the door when you get home from the duty day.  If I see you being a poor leader at home why would I think you would be a good military leader?

    randomslove
  • It's presumptuous, is what it is. It's lovely when people offer to help you, but you figure it out on your own if no one offers. 

    The other snarky comments bring to mind one of my favorite responses to a conversation about cooking/baking. Folks were saying, "Oh, I make a great blah blah with yadda yadda," and another woman replied, "I make reservations." Bwahahaa.
    This is one of my huge pet peeves. It makes me think "Wow, it sucks that you were sent out into the world not fully prepared to function as an adult". I'm with Bourdain in the opinion that every person (male or female) graduating from HS should have a basic working knowledge of household functions. You should be able to do a load of laundry and properly clean your dishes. You should be able to sew a button back on. You should be able to balance a checkbook. You should be able to change a flat tire and check your oil. You should be able to use a screwdriver. You should be able to cook a serviceable meal. I'm not talking about giving Betty Crocker a run for her money, but simply preparing something that did not go straight from your freezer into your oven or microwave. I am tired of women (and men) who think it is cute or funny that they lack such a basic skill. It isn't cute or funny, it's embarrassing.

    As for the OP, I only side eye the fact that she did this for herself. That was odd. I have delivered 3 of these in the past 6 weeks (2 births and a death in the family). I get that preparations can be made, it is just a nice gesture when someone is under extra stress to feel that their friends are there to help. When I got out of the hospital I couldn't cook for weeks, so I stayed on the couch while FI & my brother (he moved in to help care for me during the day while FI was at work) made dinner. If they had questions, I was there to answer. It worked fine, but the day a friend sent an e-gift card to a restaurant it was just a really nice surprise. The boys took a night off and we had takeout :)

    The reason I don't take issue with the "registry" is to keep someone from receiving 6 lasagnas in one day. People sign up for a specific day and hopefully list what they are bringing so that others can choose a different day, and may choose to bring something else if an item is already covered. I just factor it in to my weekly meal prep and make that much extra.


  • And now she needs help with a new car and trip to Hawaii.


  • And now she needs help with a new car and trip to Hawaii.
    SO what is she selling? it could be a thing like Pampered Chef or Mary Kay that if you sell so much over all or for the year you get a car or a trip.

    As for the original ? I do agree that it is inappropriate to set this up for your self, but if someone else had done it for them it would not have been a big deal..
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  • She sells essential oils through Young Living
  • What I side-eye is that she did this for herself. At our church, people set up these websites for people to sign up to bring food to other people (new moms, sick people, people who have had deaths in the family). It saves having to make a ton of phone calls and you can also see what other people are preparing thus cutting down on duplicate meals. So I don't see anything wrong with a website being set up, I just don't think she should have done it for herself!

    Ditto this. I often see friends coordinating delivered meals for someone with a long illness/injury, deaths in the family or a new baby or setting up something like this for someone else. In fact, my church has a committee of people dedicated to this who sign up to be ready to make a meal for people who need it. I don't side eye that at all. I definitely side eye people setting up this sort of thing for themselves.

  • edited September 2015
    Totally get that other people doing this for you is a-ok. But yeah my problem is her setting it up for herself and then advertising it on Facebook. Especially since there was ample time to prepare for this as the surgery has been planned / scheduled for at least 2 months (maybe more but I heard about it at the family picnic in early July).
  • She sells essential oils through Young Living
    what I hate is when they sell this stuff and it is all over their personal facebook page, make a page specifically for that and I can choose if i want to see your hourly updates about what your selling, other wise I am hiding your sales crap and not seeing any of your updates....
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    [Deleted User]
  • She sells essential oils through Young Living
    what I hate is when they sell this stuff and it is all over their personal facebook page, make a page specifically for that and I can choose if i want to see your hourly updates about what your selling, other wise I am hiding your sales crap and not seeing any of your updates....
    She has one, but still puts it on her personal page because she obviously has more connections / friends / followers / whatever on that one...

  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Seems like this girl's motive:




    image








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    ryanandjoe4[Deleted User]ShesSoCold
  • spockforprezspockforprez Virginia member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    She sells essential oils through Young Living
    what I hate is when they sell this stuff and it is all over their personal facebook page, make a page specifically for that and I can choose if i want to see your hourly updates about what your selling, other wise I am hiding your sales crap and not seeing any of your updates....
    She has one, but still puts it on her personal page because she obviously has more connections / friends / followers / whatever on that one...

    I put up a "no soliciting" post on my facebook the other day. Maybe it was rude, but I'm SO SICK of getting a notification, "Suzy Q added you to the private group, "SUZY Q'S AMAZING ESSENTIAL OIL OPPORTUNITIES!"" Don't add me to that shit without my permission.
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