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Work stress

kaos16kaos16 member
Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
in Chit Chat
my office is exactly 5 miles from my house, and my husband works in town too.  I just had a conversation with my boss and a coworker.  That coworker is set to leave on maternity any day now.  The boss asked how I would feel about switching to her role while she is out, until she comes back and I leave for maternity in January.  Her role is in a different building 45-60 minutes from my house (on a good traffic day).  The road i'd have to take is a main highway, known for traffic and accidents.

I just leased an SUV in preparation of having a baby, getting rid of my super efficient electric car.  

I love my office where I am now, and really don't want to leave it. 

The boss said she would inquire about getting me a gas card or a company vehicle to use for the commute (our company cars are notorious for being a bit beat up and having brake and engine issues)

I felt put on the spot when she asked me if I wanted to do it.  I told her that I would rather not, because I love my position and the commute would be problematic, but if that's what is best for the office......

I then left her office and gave DH a call.  He is upset about the thought of me having to drive so much further, while pregnant, into the winter.  He is concerned for my safety and the safety of our unborn son.

I'm afraid they'll make me go, and it's stressing me out.  I am contemplating going back into the boss to lay out the travel factors after the coworker leaves.  What would you do?
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Re: Work stress

  • thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I wouldn't want to do it, especially if I was pregnant. I feel like they put you in a really awkward position by asking you to do that. It's a lot to ask of someone, especially since it would be making your commute so much longer. On top of that, driving in winter conditions is dangerous and when you're pregnant you have 2 lives to consider! I would be tempted to tell her you don't feel comfortable with it given the circumstances.

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Is this not something that you could do from your current office?  Or is there a lot of face to face interaction that has to happen?

    It doesn't sound like you want to do it so then just give them a definite no.

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  • anothergirl2anothergirl2 member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    Hi, I would talk to your boss privately and give her a nice but firm NO, and explain all of the reasons you just posted here. 
    Do not say "I don't want to do it, but if you think..." (don't leave it up to her)  say something along the lines of  "sorry but I have thought about what you asked and given my circumstances I have to decline"  
    Having to drive 60 min to get to work seems ridiculous to me. Especially if you are pregnant, she should understand and just look for someone else to cover for this girl. 
      Also, I learned the hard way to always say "can you give me a bit to think about it" when asked to make decisions that affect my life (for work or other commitments) . Never answer on the spot, because that is usually when you say things you regret later. 
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  • kaos16kaos16 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    anothergirl2 said:
    Hi, I would talk to your boss privately and give her a nice but firm NO, and explain all of the reasons you just posted here. 
    Do not say "I don't want to do it, but if you think..." (don't leave it up to her)  say something along the lines of  "sorry but I have thought about what you asked and given my circumstances I have to decline"  
    Having to drive 60 min to get to work seems ridiculous to me. Especially if you are pregnant, she should understand and just look for someone else to cover for this girl. 
      Also, I learned the hard way to always say "can you give me a bit to think about it" when asked to make decisions that affect my life (for work or other commitments) . Never answer on the spot, because that is usually when you say things you regret later. 
    Great advice in all aspects of life!!!
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    500 Comments 250 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I would say no, and I think your boss should be able to understand why. If you are uncomfortable with it, then do not feel pressured to do it. I don't think you need to give her any reasons other than the long commute + winter weather + pregnant, because the more reasons you give, the more room your boss has to rebut your answer.

    Is there anything this woman does that you can still do at YOUR office? If you want to, see if you can take on some of her responsibilities where you already are. That could show that you are sensitive to their predicament and willing to still be flexible (but I don't think you necessarily have to do this.)
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would see if I could take over some of her responsibilities from your office.  Tell your boss that the thought of the much longer commute stresses you out.  I would have no problems saying that I needed to stay stress free during my pregnancy and the thought of doing the commute would be too much.  Get a doctor's note if you need.
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  • kvrunskvruns member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    how different are your jobs? and who would do yours when you switch to this new one?  Is there a possibility of doing her job from your office?
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  • kaos16kaos16 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    kvruns said:
    how different are your jobs? and who would do yours when you switch to this new one?  Is there a possibility of doing her job from your office?
    There are about 20 in my office, any one of them could be plugged into my spot.  Her job is an easier one although of a similar nature.  I wouldn't be able to do it from here because each job requires daily court appearances in our respective locations.
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  • luckya23luckya23 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    kaos16 said:


    kvruns said:

    how different are your jobs? and who would do yours when you switch to this new one?  Is there a possibility of doing her job from your office?

    There are about 20 in my office, any one of them could be plugged into my spot.  Her job is an easier one although of a similar nature.  I wouldn't be able to do it from here because each job requires daily court appearances in our respective locations.

    Geez why can't one of the 20 take her spot? Maybe someone else already lives out that way?

    image

    Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers

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  • kaos16kaos16 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=1009676&vid=1&pid=693092002
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  • thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    kaos16 said:
    http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=1009676&vid=1&pid=693092002
    AAAAH I love this!!!!! That is the most adorable thing.

    And yay for not having to go to the other location!! Great news.

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