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Invites and Paper

Please could someone check my invite wording?

Just wanted to check all was okay before they get printed.  I was told there were some very knowledgeable ladies on here.  Thanks in advance if you can help!

Dr My Dad and Mrs My Stepmum  (different last names as they are not married)
Request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of
Bride's Name and Groom's Name

Fingask Castle
Rait, Perthshire
Day, date, month, year
3pm
Reception to follow

RSVP date, month, year

More information at www.ourdomainname.co.uk


Notes...
Me and FI are hosting the wedding, however when I asked my stepmum if she wanted the 'traditional' layout of the Brides parents inviting they were delighted so I would really like to do this to make her happy.  FI is pretty much estranged from his parents.

The marriage is not by church and all in the same venue as the reception.

The RSVP date is 3 weeks prior.  My catering contract states final full prepayment is due 2 weeks out.  However in conversation my caterer said that actually only 1 week was fine.  However I would rather err on the side of caution and stick with 3 weeks, is this okay?

Our website has details, location, transport and travel, FAQ, and a timeline of the day along with what F&B will be served.  It also has a online RSVP form.  Every single guest is computer literate.  Even my great aunt is on facebook more than I am!  I would prefer not to include any inserts at all.  Is this okay?

Thanks again if you have time to cast your eye over this!

Re: Please could someone check my invite wording?

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited August 2015
    Ms. Jane Stepmother
    Doctor John Bridesfather
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of his daughter

    Bride's First Middle
    to
    Mr. Groom's Full Name

    Day, date
    (year)
    at three o'clock

    Fingask Castle
    Rait, Perthshire

    Reception to follow

    Rsvp. at www.ourdomainname.co.uk.  (This is in lower left hand corner in small letters.)
    (end of invitation card)




    I don't know if the etiquette in the UK is the same as in the USA.  Here, it is common to send out RSVP reply cards with postage included.  @LondonLisa can give you information about the customs in UK better than I can.
    Since you have already promised your father and stepmother that they will be hosting your wedding on your invitation, I think it might be too late to change it, but this is not correct.  What the traditional wording should be is this:

    The pleasure of your company is requested
    at the marriage of
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    (etc.)
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragain said:
    Ms. Jane Stepmother
    Doctor John Bridesfather
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of his daughter

    Bride's First Middle
    to
    Mr. Groom's Full Name

    Day, date
    (year)
    at three o'clock

    Fingask Castle
    Rait, Perthshire

    Reception to follow

    Rsvp. at www.ourdomainname.co.uk.  (This is in lower left hand corner in small letters.)
    (end of invitation card)




    I don't know if the etiquette in the UK is the same as in the USA.  Here, it is common to send out RSVP reply cards with postage included.  @LondonLisa can give you information about the customs in UK better than I can.
    Since you have already promised your father and stepmother that they will be hosting your wedding on your invitation, I think it might be too late to change it, but this is not correct.  What the traditional wording should be is this:

    The pleasure of your company is requested
    at the marriage of
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    (etc.)
    Cool thanks, I did not know the website would go in the left hand corner!  

    I did think it was a bit of a victim less crime to have their names on the invites though??  Why is it not correct?  Not trying to be funny, but I can't see why this is an issue, but I'm trying to educate myself on these matters.  But yes, that ship has most defiantly sailed!

    I mean they have been so helpful with this wedding, and my step mum, (who never had a daughter) is so excited to be inviting the guests as she thought she would never get this opportunity. 

    My step Mum thinks we should have proper RSVP cards but I can't see the point??  Maybe someone could explain why it should not be phone/online only as I still have plenty of time to order postcards if it is really necessary.  We see it as old fashioned but is Stepmum right?  Will guests be offended?  Sorry for all the questions!  
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited August 2015
    The wedding invitation is a note from the HOSTS (you and your FI) to the guests, inviting them to the event and giving them the important information of who, what, when and where.  By placing your father and stepmother on the invitation, you are naming them as the hosts of your wedding.  They are the people whom the guests should thank at the end of the reception, not you.  It is not an honour to be on a wedding invitation.  This really isn't an issue if you are considering them to be the hosts of your wedding, anyway.
    When the bride and groom host their own wedding, the wording is indirect so as to not make this obvious (even though everybody assumes it to be so!)
    Website Rsvps are very new.  In the old days, it was considered rude to put anything except "Rsvp." on the invitation.  It was assumed that the guests would have the good manners to write their own notes of acceptance or decline.  Today, at least in the USA, most brides enclose the reply notes of which your Mum is concerned.  They are not required.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Thank you!  Yes we do consider them to be hosting our wedding,  It just feels right?  Thanks again. xx


  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited August 2015
    Thank you!  Yes we do consider them to be hosting our wedding,  It just feels right?  Thanks again. xx

    Stuck in box

    Are your father and stepmother sending the invitations, receiving the responses, greeting the guests, and making the arrangements that ensure that the guests' needs are met? (Note: This is not the same as paying for the wedding.)  If they're not doing these things, then no matter how "right" it feels to you, they're not hosts and should not be listed as such because invitations aren't playbills.  It's not an "honor" to be listed as hosts on an invitation, because the people "honored" by the invitation are the guests.  They're the ones who need to know who the hosts are so they know to contact-the hosts are supposed to be the "point people."  If your father and stepmother aren't doing these things, then the guests will get confusing, unhelpful, or incorrect answers and information about the wedding.

    So, if you hadn't already had the invitations printed, I would tell you to print them without listing your father and stepmother as "hosts" if they aren't actually doing these things, and if you need to "honor" them in writing, do it with a program.

  • Yes my step mum is point of contact for replies etc, and will be greeting our guests on arrival etc.

    She is the organiser of the family and makes things happen. She is very excited about her role as MOB as she never thought she would be able to do it. I am also very happy as I lost my mum several years ago so again, never thought I would have someone to do all these special things together. She has driven us to all the venue visits and helped so much with everything with the wedding. She even paid for my teeth to be fixed as I was always self conscious of them and she wanted to give me my smile back for my wedding day. Hope this makes sense?
    Jen4948
  • Host seems to have 2 meanings here. As in paying for the wedding and also hosting on the day. We are doing the former but want my step mum to do the latter.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Yes my step mum is point of contact for replies etc, and will be greeting our guests on arrival etc. She is the organiser of the family and makes things happen. She is very excited about her role as MOB as she never thought she would be able to do it. I am also very happy as I lost my mum several years ago so again, never thought I would have someone to do all these special things together. She has driven us to all the venue visits and helped so much with everything with the wedding. She even paid for my teeth to be fixed as I was always self conscious of them and she wanted to give me my smile back for my wedding day. Hope this makes sense?
    Yeah, that makes sense.  So since your stepmum is doing those things, it makes sense to list her as a hostess (together with your dad, if he's doing these things too).

    It's just that nobody should be listed for the purpose of "honoring" them who isn't doing these things.
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Hi OP. Hosting does not equal paying. It sounds like your step mom is hosting your wedding, even if she is not financing it, so you are fine putting your parents as hosts. 
    image
    image

    image


    Knottie80779227
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    CMGragain said:
    Ms. Jane Stepmother
    Doctor John Bridesfather
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of his daughter

    Bride's First Middle
    to
    Mr. Groom's Full Name

    Day, date
    (year)
    at three o'clock

    Fingask Castle
    Rait, Perthshire

    Reception to follow

    Rsvp. at www.ourdomainname.co.uk.  (This is in lower left hand corner in small letters.)
    (end of invitation card)




    I don't know if the etiquette in the UK is the same as in the USA.  Here, it is common to send out RSVP reply cards with postage included.  @LondonLisa can give you information about the customs in UK better than I can.
    Since you have already promised your father and stepmother that they will be hosting your wedding on your invitation, I think it might be too late to change it, but this is not correct.  What the traditional wording should be is this:

    The pleasure of your company is requested
    at the marriage of
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    (etc.)
    Reply cards are North American. In the UK it is perfectly fine to have an RSVP address for guests to respond on their own stationery. 

    I agree that if you want your Dad/Stepmum on the invite, go right ahead. It really doesn't matter in my book, especially if your stepmum and dad are hosting on the day. 

    One thing I would say is that it is improper to have the year on an invitation. Invites should never be sent so far in advance that you have to designate which year it is.  
    MairePoppyCMGragain
  • Ah!  Thank you, London Lisa.  In the USA, the year is almost always written on the invitation, but, even here, it is optional.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragain said:
    Ms. Jane Stepmother
    Doctor John Bridesfather
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of his daughter

    Bride's First Middle
    to
    Mr. Groom's Full Name

    Day, date
    (year)
    at three o'clock

    Fingask Castle
    Rait, Perthshire

    Reception to follow

    Rsvp. at www.ourdomainname.co.uk.  (This is in lower left hand corner in small letters.)
    (end of invitation card)




    I don't know if the etiquette in the UK is the same as in the USA.  Here, it is common to send out RSVP reply cards with postage included.  @LondonLisa can give you information about the customs in UK better than I can.
    Since you have already promised your father and stepmother that they will be hosting your wedding on your invitation, I think it might be too late to change it, but this is not correct.  What the traditional wording should be is this:

    The pleasure of your company is requested
    at the marriage of
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    (etc.)
    Reply cards are North American. In the UK it is perfectly fine to have an RSVP address for guests to respond on their own stationery. 

    I agree that if you want your Dad/Stepmum on the invite, go right ahead. It really doesn't matter in my book, especially if your stepmum and dad are hosting on the day. 

    One thing I would say is that it is improper to have the year on an invitation. Invites should never be sent so far in advance that you have to designate which year it is.  
    Thanks Lisa that makes sense, it's hardly going to be 2017 is it!
    LondonLisa
  • Thank you to everyone for their help!  One more thing, the edit has removed the RSVP date.  Is it not correct to have this?  


  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Thank you to everyone for their help!  One more thing, the edit has removed the RSVP date.  Is it not correct to have this?  


    No, I think it is fine to say "the favour of your reply is requested by May 1" or whenever.

    From what I gather, in Canada and the US they use those preprinted cards, so it is written on that rather than the invitation itself.
    ILoveBeachMusic
  • ScottishSarahScottishSarah member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments First Answer
    edited September 2015
    Thanks Lisa!  
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