ok, wedding-ish question

*Barbie* · September 2015

What are your thoughts on vow renewals? (I'm talking about people who go all out for a "milestone" anniversary, not people who get legally married and have a fake "wedding" at a later date).

I was watching Cake Boss while I was getting ready this morning, and Buddy and his wife went all out for their 10 year anniversary - she went to Kleinfelds for a designer dress, the entire extended family went with them on a Disney cruise for the ceremony(it was supposed to be on the beach in the Bahamas, but it rained that day so they had the ceremony on the ship), of course they had a ridiculous cake and a big fancy dinner.

NOLABridesmaid · September 2015

I like them for 25 years plus. Especially if you jp'ed it for the first go round.

NOLABridesmaid · September 2015

Yes, I say a big trip and maybe a small gtg at home, but not the big dress and limo.

NOLABridesmaid · September 2015

Yes, she doesn't have to take the STAAR, anyway.:)

TheCheeseWench · September 2015

Sappiness ahead, beware.

My Grandparents did it every year after their 50th. It was just a quick little thing immediately after the early service at church (except 50 & 60 for which we threw big parties), along with another couple they knew who had an anniversary the same week. The family would attend (the ONE day a year that my Mother knew she could get me to church). I thought it was sweet, and then we would go to the church hall for mimosas and donuts. They always said they never knew which one would be their last chance to do it, so they didn't want to miss one. When my Grandfather got sick he promised her that he would make it long enough to make it to 65 years. He was in pretty bad shape, but he survived 3 years. 9 days before their December 15th anniversary my Grandmother had a stroke, so they ended up in side-by-side hospital beds at my Mother's house. Neither could make it to church for their renewal, so on December 23rd the priest came to the house and renewed their vows in their room. He lost most consciousness the next day and passed on the 26th. I love that he kept that one last promise to her because it meant a lot to her, so in general I think that vow renewals are sweet. I don't think they need big parties unless they are the BIG ones (25/50/60+)

VarunaTT · September 2015

I've really come to think that in modern life, we just really don't celebrate enough things. One by one, most of our rituals to note the passing of time in our common human experience have fallen by the wayside or been completely co-opted by religion.

So, if people want ot have a vow renewal, as long as they don't expect a gift from me, I'll happily go. I like seeing my friends happy, dressed to the nines and being celebrated.

MesmrEwe · September 2015

For the 10yr, IMO, formal dress and dinner together - bought the dress (SO pretty!) then DH was being a PITA that day and I never got to wear it (PO'D!!!! Make-up "interaction" was deemed necessary)...

I'm all for a gathering to celebrate at the 25, (depending on health of both parties) 40th, 50th Absolutely... 65th Absolutely... As for vow renewal - meh - got it right the first time, why repeat... blessing if they're religious, absolutely... But I know people who had 10 different renewals - it was annoying at best!

MNNEBride · September 2015

We are planning a trip for our 10th anniversary but not a vow renewal.

mrsconn23 · September 2015

MNNEBride said:

We are planning a trip for our 10th anniversary but not a vow renewal.

Same. Second honeymoon if you will.

*Barbie* · September 2015

That was actually my thought too - 25+ seems reasonable. 10 seemed short, but I guess so few people make 10 years anymore, that may be the new thing to strive for. :-\ (We'll be 9 years in October, and I'm not ready to throw a big renewal in 2016 - I could get on board with the trip aspect, though.)

*Barbie* · September 2015

I keep saying we need to go back to the resort where we had our honeymoon. Maybe we can do that next year and take Wolverine. They have a kids' club, so we'd have family time and couple time. We can yank her out of first grade for a week to go to Puerto Vallarta, right? If they still do the sea turtle releases, it will be somewhat educational.

aliwis000 · September 2015

VarunaTT said:

I've really come to think that in modern life, we just really don't celebrate enough things. One by one, most of our rituals to note the passing of time in our common human experience have fallen by the wayside or been completely co-opted by religion.

So, if people want ot have a vow renewal, as long as they don't expect a gift from me, I'll happily go. I like seeing my friends happy, dressed to the nines and being celebrated.

I disagree. I think we celebrate EVERYTHING...like things that don't need to be celebrated. Think gender reveal parties and 'graduating' elementary school. Lots of things are just over hyped so people feel special every chance they get, even if it is not really warranted.

In this case I bet it has more to do with TV than anything else. The show needed something to focus on and this was something they could hype up. I do not think most normal people would do this.

VarunaTT · September 2015

Hm. Maybe this because I don't have kids. KIDS get shit tons of celebrations. Adults don't seem to. I think the coming of age ceremonies (arguably high school graduation can take that place, but it has never worked for me), the wisdom ceremonies (these are all from classes I've been taking lately) and other things that used to be celebrated as a common human experience. I mean, after the wedding, if kids aren't involved....can anyone think of something else?

PMeg819 · September 2015

I'm with V. We celebrate a lot for kids- but not so much as adults. I still like to do fun things for my birthday because it's an excuse to have an adult centered party. For 10 years, I'm not sure what we'll do. That's next year and we already have a family vacation planned the month before our anniversary. Maybe we'll do a weekend away or something. Regardless, I think as a married couple with kids it's important not to let the kids get all the focus. Our kids wouldn't be here if it weren't for us and it's important to model healthy relationships to them. If our kids don't see us celebrate our love for each other, then where do they learn that?

lembaslover · September 2015

I feel like I wouldn't want to do a big wedding again. Not that mine is going to be big it's only like 40ish people but I mean with the big dress, and wedding party etc... I feel like I'd rather just go on a big vacation with my FI (then he'll be my husband obv) and do the renewal there. We had considered eloping on the beach so I think we'll do that for either our 10 year or 25 year vow renewal.

ok, wedding-ish question

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