Pre-wedding stress

Re: Pre-wedding stress

• climbingsingle member

  

  September 2015

  I really don't remember being super stressed before my wedding. But here's what I do when I am stressed out:

  Exercise 

  Yoga 

  Read a book 

  Make sure I'm getting enough sleep 

  Drink chamomile tea 

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• thefanciestbeckler member

  

  September 2015

  
  

  peachy13 said:

  It's not rocket science; my wedding is next month and I've been stressed. I know you all know that planning a wedding is a lot of work and I'm just wondering how you all beat pre-wedding stress, if you had it.

  
  

  The weird thing is I wasn't expecting this at all! I'm pretty much on top of everything because I'm organized and love planning stuff, and FI has been really helpful with everything. There isn't even much left to be done and yet I'm stressed. I didn't even know that's what it was until strange things started happening to me about a month ago, such as trouble relaxing, trouble sleeping (I'm ALWAYS a good sleeper), bad headaches, and canker sores at the corners of my mouth which are still present (I've never had anything like this before). In general, I'm a stress-free person so this is truly the first time in my life that stress is actually taking a physical toll on me. I'm tired, cranky, my skin sucks, and I feel distracted all the time -- my job performance hasn't been great lately because all I want to do is either do wedding stuff or go home. 

  
  

  Sorry to sound like such a baby but I just want to know what I could be doing so that I'm a glowing bride on her wedding day, not a dazed-looking person whose hair is falling out. I'm trying not to resort to drinking red wine by the bottle every night to relax, but to be honest, that's all I feel like doing lately.

  This is exactly how I felt too. I knocked a ton of big stuff out at the very beginning of our engagement to try to avoid stress close to the wedding. It was about a month out that I started experiencing tons of stress and anxiety, sleeping problems, headaches, etc. One of my coworkers even commented that she hadn't seen me smile in months (isn't that what everyone wants to hear? lol)
  
  Here are a few things that have helped me- I went and got Unisom Sleep Minis over the weekend. They helped me sleep all the way through the night without waking up feeling groggy. Take a warm bath with some epsom salts and maybe bring a glass of wine in there with you. Do yoga. Try using lavender oil to help you relax.
  
  Most importantly, remember that the wedding is nowhere near as important as the marriage. When I shifted my focus from making sure everything is in order for the wedding to the life that FI and I will be building together and the commitment we are making my stress was reduced significantly. I am 5 days out now and I can honestly say I feel completely relaxed and stress free.
  
  ENJOY it
  

  
  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  September 2015

  When I get stressed, my mind races and I can't "turn it off". When that happens, it helps me to make a to-do list and then think about it/plan while I work out. 

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• novella1186 member

  

  September 2015

  It sounds like you need a break from wedding stuff. This may be easier said than done, but try to keep your mind off of it for a day or two... or three. 

  
  

  Read a book or do something that keeps your mind occupied and also helps you relax. Go do something fun with your FI that has nothing to do with wedding stuff. Go get a facial or massage. Indulge in stuff that's fun for you. 

  
  

  It's easy to get wrapped up in all the plans but you have to take a break to bring yourself back to reality and normal life, because after the wedding none of this will matter. What will matter is the fact that you're married! 

  

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• thisismynickname2 member

  

  September 2015

  What exactly are you concerned about?

  
  

  The only thing that gave me stress for my own was hoping the photographer would show up, because her customer service had been a bit on the flaky side leading up to the wedding.  

  
  

  Look, I was just in a wedding where some significant things went wrong. Yet the bride and groom are married, their guests had a really fun time, and everyone was properly fed. There was a lot of love and emotion and despite the issues, everyone's thrilled for the happy couple. 

  
  

  I am good at contingency planning if you're worried about certain things! Just let us know! 

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• peachy13 member

  

  September 2015

  Novella -- you are spot on. My mind is constantly on wedding mode. I took a little reading break recently and I think I need to start back up again!

  
  

  It's not that I'm even concerned about anything or stressed about one thing in particular. I think it's because I've been planning this thing for the past two years and now it's almost here -- the "omg it's almost here, are you ready?" question from everyone doesn't really help either. 

  
  

  I'm so excited for the wedding but I'm even more excited to just be married.

  
  
  
  

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• futurecptkirk member

  

  September 2015

  @peachy13 I am completely with you. 18 days for me and there's like basically nothing left to do. Just little things now. For the past 3 weeks my stomach has been consistently upset and I'm sleeping way too late in the mornings. It's not good... 

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• princessleia22 member

  

  September 2015

  I somehow managed to stay mostly calm with wedding planning, but the last few weeks I've had a bunch of other big life stress going on (deaths in family, work is crazy busy, etc.).  I've had tension headaches every day for nearly 2 weeks. So, after work I've been doing yoga, go home and read a book, hot shower and chamomile tea before bed. Drink LOTS of water... water, or lack thereof, affects SO much in your body. Yesterday I got a 90-minute massage, which was awesome! And all that has helped a lot.
  

   

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• erinlin25 member

  

  September 2015

  definitely give yourself a wedding break.  Do something for yourself-- how do you usually relax?  I like pedicures, massages, going in the hot tub (or a bubble bath).  I typically wind down with a cocktail or glass of wine.  You don't have to drink the whole bottle  
  
   
  

  
  
  
  

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• thisismynickname2 member

  

  September 2015

  peachy13 said:

  Novella -- you are spot on. My mind is constantly on wedding mode. I took a little reading break recently and I think I need to start back up again!

  
  

  It's not that I'm even concerned about anything or stressed about one thing in particular. I think it's because I've been planning this thing for the past two years and now it's almost here -- the "omg it's almost here, are you ready?" question from everyone doesn't really help either. 

  
  

  I'm so excited for the wedding but I'm even more excited to just be married.

  To the bolded, yeah, that's the worst. My mom wanted Plan A, Plan B, all the way down to Plan Z for things like if the DJ didn't show up. I'm like, Mom, it'll be fine, the DJ company sends a replacement and that's why they never book all their people on the same date, so chill out. 

  
  

  To people who trouble you with that question, just say, "Yes!" or "Yes, it's all under control / ready." Lather, rinse, repeat. 

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• arrrghmatey member

  

  September 2015

  My Stress-Beaters:

  
  

  -Exercise

  -Massage

  -Going out for dinner and wine with a girlfriend or two

  -Using scented oils at bedtime to help me sleep (lavender)

  
  

  My favorite has to be going out to a nice tapas/wine bar with a girlfriend or two and discuss NO wedding stuff. Just good company and good wine.

                                   

  
  

                                                 

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• spockforprez member

  

  September 2015

  So sorry  

  
  

  I'm really bad at healthy stress management, which sucks when you have an anxiety disorder. Instead, I use denial/distraction lol. As long as you've got things fairly organized, though, you should be fine to try this route. 

  
  

  So... my advice is listening to the Serial podcast (download on your phone). If you're like me and get obsessed right away, all 12 episodes will only last you 36 hours, but after that there's hours of reading at /r/serialpodcast and then a couple dozen episodes of the Undisclosed podcast. I seriously spent 2 weeks focusing only on that podcast and its related material and barely thought about the wedding once.

  
  

  If that doesn't float your boat, try the distraction technique with Netflix binges or finding a new subreddit and going through the top posts (I like /r/gifs top posts, sorting by "all" at first and now by "past month"). Even taking one night off should help. Good luck!

  
  

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• pennydl member

  

  September 2015

  I'm 11 days out and up until last week, I wasn't doing too badly. As pp have said, OTC sleep aids, can help somewhat. They help me fall asleep, but then I'm awake at 4am and I don't need to be up until 5:45. My brain just starts racing and I have a hard time shutting down. Other things that help me relax, although I haven't had time for either, a massage or a mani or pedi. 

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  September 2015

  I struggle with depression and anxiety but do not take meds because they honestly just made everything worse for me. I have so many major life changes happening alongside my wedding and my natural anxiety issues have sent the pre-wedding stress through the roof! I have mostly been coping by eating better than I usually do (aside from the occasional slice of cheesecake!) and exercising. Nothing crazy, just taking lots of walks, a small bit of weight training and the stationary bike. It keeps my mood up and I'm in better shape than ever. I also make sure to vent when I need to. It always helps to talk to my girlfriends about the stress. Maybe grab a cocktail and eat a cookie. And the #1 thing for me that helps is to just spend quality time with my FI. Even if it's just an hour before we go to work, watching a show on Netflix and folding laundry. Every second I'm with him and my mind starts to wander to stress I just remind myself of why I'm so stressed in the first place - because I'm planning a wedding... but I'm marrying this wonderful man and that makes everything worth it.
  

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