• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Chit Chat

Early marriage license for a VA loan?

I feel in a bit of a dilemma. My fiance and I are getting married in May 2016 and we have started looking at houses to buy. He is eligible for a VA loan, which our realtor said would most likely be our best option, but we just found out we cannot apply jointly for a VA loan if we're not married. He can apply on his own, and from glancing at his monthly income, the loan officer said he might qualify for what we wanted by himself but that I could not be added to the loan later or anything like that. She made it sound like I could still be on the deed though as long as we signed it that way.

The dilemma is, my fiance mentioned just getting our marriage license now so that we could apply jointly, and I just don't like the idea of that. I would feel as if we just got married at the courthouse, and no offense to anyone who has done that, but it's not really what I want. Obviously we would still have our big wedding, but I'm just torn. It seems like this would be the best option financially because (although small) I would think my income would help a bit, but... I don't know. What are your thoughts? Anyone been in this situation?

Re: Early marriage license for a VA loan?

  • mileybangerzmileybangerz member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited September 2015
    I feel in a bit of a dilemma. My fiance and I are getting married in May 2016 and we have started looking at houses to buy. He is eligible for a VA loan, which our realtor said would most likely be our best option, but we just found out we cannot apply jointly for a VA loan if we're not married. He can apply on his own, and from glancing at his monthly income, the loan officer said he might qualify for what we wanted by himself but that I could not be added to the loan later or anything like that. She made it sound like I could still be on the deed though as long as we signed it that way.

    The dilemma is, my fiance mentioned just getting our marriage license now so that we could apply jointly, and I just don't like the idea of that. I would feel as if we just got married at the courthouse, and no offense to anyone who has done that, but it's not really what I want. Obviously we would still have our big wedding, but I'm just torn. It seems like this would be the best option financially because (although small) I would think my income would help a bit, but... I don't know. What are your thoughts? Anyone been in this situation?
    No I haven't been in this situation.  And it sounds dumb because you will already have been married when you have your "wedding".
    image
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Have the loan officer run the application with just your FI on it.  If he qualifies on his own to buy the house, then go that route.  I would wait until you are married and then have the deed changed to reflect both of you, with your married name.  (If not changing your name, then change the deed whenever.)  Then have your wedding as planned.

    If your FI doesn't qualify on his own, then its time for a discussion about what is more important. 

    FWIW, my H didn't have insurance while we were engaged.  We could have quickly gone to the courthouse and gotten married so that I could get him added to our insurance.  Together we decided it was more important to wait and have the wedding we wanted with our family and friends present.  If you feel uneasy about your FI's suggestion, then that means you should tell your FI that you would rather wait to be married.

    wrigleyville
  • You have one wedding day, the day you get married.  Whether it's a courthouse wedding or a church wedding, or a secular ceremony.  ONE.  Don't plan a PPD, unless you're going to be totally honest and tell your guests you're already married- expect some people not to come watch a fake re-enactment.

    Time to put on your grown up pants.  Which is more important to you and your fiance?  The "big" wedding that will last one day, or buying the house?  It seems like you can have both if you're willing to wait until after you're married to buy a home.


    novella1186STARMOON44
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    My FI and I bought a house in his name only, and added me to the deed after the fact.   We consulted with a lawyer, and per her advice, the mortgage is paid out of our joint account so I have financial ties to the mortgage.  

    I would ask a lawyer what property laws in your state are when it comes to marriage.  In my state property is automatically split 50/50 regardless of whose name is on the mortgage, so even if we never refinance, I will have legal rights to the home in case of a divorce (he would have to buy me out if he wanted me out or we would split the profit).  Plus, because of the paper trail we intentionally created, a lawyer could prove "intent to share home" vs "living in his home."
    image
    OliveOilsMomanjemonAprilH81
  • Why can't you just get a traditional mortgage?  You don't have to be married to be cosigners.

    image

    Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers

  • anjemonanjemon Minnie and Paul (MN) member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    My FI and I bought a house in his name only, and added me to the deed after the fact.   We consulted with a lawyer, and per her advice, the mortgage is paid out of our joint account so I have financial ties to the mortgage.  

    I would ask a lawyer what property laws in your state are when it comes to marriage.  In my state property is automatically split 50/50 regardless of whose name is on the mortgage, so even if we never refinance, I will have legal rights to the home in case of a divorce (he would have to buy me out if he wanted me out or we would split the profit).  Plus, because of the paper trail we intentionally created, a lawyer could prove "intent to share home" vs "living in his home."
    Yes, this happened to us. My H owned his condo before we were married and the mortgage and all paperwork is in his name. I didn't even know him when he bought it. Now that we are trying to sell the condo I need to be included as a signee on all the paperwork as his wife. He can't sell the property without my consent because we are married. It doesn't matter that I don't claim anything about the condo and only lived there one month.

    And I agree with PP's. If you guys are going to sign the marriage license, you're having a courthouse ceremony. Anything after that wouldn't be a wedding, it would be pretending you're not already married so everyone can see you fake a ceremony. And really untruthful to your friends and family.

    I would try to see if your FI can get the loan on his own. It sounds like it would work and you can obviously help pay the bills even though your name isn't on them. Then you can refinance together after your big wedding. I might even ask the finance guy to run the numbers on the VA loan and the traditional load with you on it to see how much the numbers change.
    image
  • It's pretty simple. Your options are: 
    1. Have your FI apply for the loan on his own
    2. Both of you apply jointly for a non-VA home loan 
    3. Wait till after your "big wedding" to buy a home 
    4. Go get married at the courthouse, apply jointly for the VA mortgage, and cancel the big wedding, because people who are already married can't -- by definition-- have a wedding. 

    What is the most important thing to you? The wedding or the joint VA loan? Talk to your FI, figure that out, and go from there. 
    image
    sparklepants41
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited September 2015
    luckya23 said:

    Why can't you just get a traditional mortgage?  You don't have to be married to be cosigners.

    Typically VA loans are a 0% down loan, so just guess, but that may have a lot to do with it.

    OP - If you don't have much for a down payment, maybe look into an FHA loan, you will only then need 3 1/2% down.

    thefanciestbecklerhuskypuppy14
  • luckya23 said:

    Why can't you just get a traditional mortgage?  You don't have to be married to be cosigners.

    Typically VA loans are a 0% down loan, so just guess, but that may have a lot to do with it.

    OP - If you don't have much for a down payment, maybe look into an FHA loan, you will only then need 3 1/2% down.

    You also do not have to pay PMI with a VA loan.  The rates are also better than most other loan products.  
    Married 9.12.15
    image
    thefanciestbeckler[Deleted User]
  • anjemon said:
    My FI and I bought a house in his name only, and added me to the deed after the fact.   We consulted with a lawyer, and per her advice, the mortgage is paid out of our joint account so I have financial ties to the mortgage.  

    I would ask a lawyer what property laws in your state are when it comes to marriage.  In my state property is automatically split 50/50 regardless of whose name is on the mortgage, so even if we never refinance, I will have legal rights to the home in case of a divorce (he would have to buy me out if he wanted me out or we would split the profit).  Plus, because of the paper trail we intentionally created, a lawyer could prove "intent to share home" vs "living in his home."
    Yes, this happened to us. My H owned his condo before we were married and the mortgage and all paperwork is in his name. I didn't even know him when he bought it. Now that we are trying to sell the condo I need to be included as a signee on all the paperwork as his wife. He can't sell the property without my consent because we are married. It doesn't matter that I don't claim anything about the condo and only lived there one month.

    And I agree with PP's. If you guys are going to sign the marriage license, you're having a courthouse ceremony. Anything after that wouldn't be a wedding, it would be pretending you're not already married so everyone can see you fake a ceremony. And really untruthful to your friends and family.

    I would try to see if your FI can get the loan on his own. It sounds like it would work and you can obviously help pay the bills even though your name isn't on them. Then you can refinance together after your big wedding. I might even ask the finance guy to run the numbers on the VA loan and the traditional load with you on it to see how much the numbers change.
    Interesting, H just sold a condo after we were married and it was in his name only and I had nothing to do with it. Nothing to sign, nothing to agree to since it was all in his name.
  • It's pretty simple. Your options are: 
    1. Have your FI apply for the loan on his own
    2. Both of you apply jointly for a non-VA home loan 
    3. Wait till after your "big wedding" to buy a home 
    4. Go get married at the courthouse, apply jointly for the VA mortgage, and cancel the big wedding, because people who are already married can't -- by definition-- have a wedding. 

    What is the most important thing to you? The wedding or the joint VA loan? Talk to your FI, figure that out, and go from there. 
    This.  Why do you need to buy a home RIGHT NOW?  TBH if you live in a competitive market and/or are picky/have a list of requirements a home must meet for you to purchase it, it may take you several months to find one, qualify, buy it, close, and move in.  At that point, what's waiting a couple more months til the wedding in the spring?


  • spockforprezspockforprez Virginia member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    It's pretty simple. Your options are: 
    1. Have your FI apply for the loan on his own
    2. Both of you apply jointly for a non-VA home loan 
    3. Wait till after your "big wedding" to buy a home 
    4. Go get married at the courthouse, apply jointly for the VA mortgage, and cancel the big wedding, because people who are already married can't -- by definition-- have a wedding. 

    What is the most important thing to you? The wedding or the joint VA loan? Talk to your FI, figure that out, and go from there. 
    This.  Why do you need to buy a home RIGHT NOW?  TBH if you live in a competitive market and/or are picky/have a list of requirements a home must meet for you to purchase it, it may take you several months to find one, qualify, buy it, close, and move in.  At that point, what's waiting a couple more months til the wedding in the spring?
    You have to qualify before you find one, because you can't write an offer without a pre approval letter (at least in my experience). It's smart to be pre approved before you start looking at houses, because if you find one you like, you can't do anything without that letter.

    I also think it's incredibly stupid to put 0% down on a house. If you can't afford somewhat of a down payment (doesn't have to be 20%) you really can't afford a house. 
    If you have decent credit (lower-mid 700's) you can usually be approved for a conventional loan with 5% down, and depending on where in that range your credit is, you can be qualified to have lender-paid PMI as well. There are definitely a few options other than FHA that don't involve a full 20% down payment.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    huskypuppy14novella1186
  • julieanne912julieanne912 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited September 2015
    You can put a downpayment down with a VA loan.  I helped some friends of ours buy a home with a VA loan last year, and they put 20% down.  The rates on VA loans are incredibly good....theirs was a full half percent less than ours, and we had almost identical loan terms (purchase price, loan amount, etc.)  Basically, if you qualify for a VA loan (ie former or active duty military) there's absolutely NO reason to not use it.  
    Married 9.12.15
    image
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards