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Registry and Gift Forum

What did you do with off-registry gifts?

To preface, my bridal shower was this past weekend (!) and we are so very lucky.  So many family members and friends drove 2-3 hours just for the shower on a Saturday in August, and I was just overwhelmed with the generosity of everyone!  It was a gorgeous day and beyond anything I imagined.

The shower guests were beyond generous with gifts, and almost all of the bigger items on our registries were purchased.  I did notice a couple days before the shower that not too many registry items overall were fulfilled, so I figured there were probably a lot of group gifts (there were).  But, we got more off-registry gifts than I was ever expecting... probably almost half the total gifts were off-registry.  We had made sure to have a large selection of things in all price points since we have a large guest list.  I am of course so thankful for anything our guests gave to us, but in reality we just have no use for some of the items (i.e. full ceramic tea set that does not match our style at all, duplicates of items we registered for but not the actual one we listed (and we did get the actual registry item as well from someone else), lots of things with Mr. & Mrs. on them, serving dishes and baskets that are very style-specific, etc.)  None of the off-registry items came with gift receipts.

Just wondering what you all did with some of the items that were nice gifts from your guests, but not anything you could ever see yourself using and cannot return?  I feel like such a brat for wondering why some guests just kind of disregard your registry and/or personal style and get you something that THEY would like in their own home, but there it is.  Very gracious thank you notes will of course be written.  Any ideas to put these kinds of gifts to use?  Re-gift?  Donate?  I am an asshole?


Re: What did you do with off-registry gifts?

  • To preface, my bridal shower was this past weekend (!) and we are so very lucky.  So many family members and friends drove 2-3 hours just for the shower on a Saturday in August, and I was just overwhelmed with the generosity of everyone!  It was a gorgeous day and beyond anything I imagined.

    The shower guests were beyond generous with gifts, and almost all of the bigger items on our registries were purchased.  I did notice a couple days before the shower that not too many registry items overall were fulfilled, so I figured there were probably a lot of group gifts (there were).  But, we got more off-registry gifts than I was ever expecting... probably almost half the total gifts were off-registry.  We had made sure to have a large selection of things in all price points since we have a large guest list.  I am of course so thankful for anything our guests gave to us, but in reality we just have no use for some of the items (i.e. full ceramic tea set that does not match our style at all, duplicates of items we registered for but not the actual one we listed (and we did get the actual registry item as well from someone else), lots of things with Mr. & Mrs. on them, serving dishes and baskets that are very style-specific, etc.)  None of the off-registry items came with gift receipts.

    Just wondering what you all did with some of the items that were nice gifts from your guests, but not anything you could ever see yourself using and cannot return?  I feel like such a brat for wondering why some guests just kind of disregard your registry and/or personal style and get you something that THEY would like in their own home, but there it is.  Very gracious thank you notes will of course be written.  Any ideas to put these kinds of gifts to use?  Re-gift?  Donate?  I am an asshole?
    I'd say go ahead and regift or donate.  But no, you are not an asshole.  I have too much stuff that I don't use as it is, I certainly don't need more.  If you can figure out where someone got something, you might be able to return it to the store for store credit without the receipt.  That's my only other suggestion.
  • I'd be fine with re-gifting or donating, but if you do re-gift, leave sticky notes on them to say who it was from so you don't give it back to them, or have them around when you re-gift it (i.e. a family gathering)
  • Well a registry is just a suggestion to your guests and to show them your style/color scheme that you prefer.  They are fully allowed to shop off-registry.  Some people would rather pick something not off a set list.  This is not wrong or rude of them.  These guests probably really thought that you would enjoy and like their gift.

    As for what you do with it, you can try to return them or if returning is not possible you can either re-gift or donate.

  • scribe95 said:
    You can return some of it too even without a receipt. You just might not get the full amount of cash or store credit.
    Thanks!  There a couple things where the store the gift came from is obvious, so I think we'll try exchanging some things.  Others could have come from anywhere, so those are the ones I am hoping to find a good solution for do they do not go to waste.


  • Well a registry is just a suggestion to your guests and to show them your style/color scheme that you prefer.  They are fully allowed to shop off-registry.  Some people would rather pick something not off a set list.  This is not wrong or rude of them.  These guests probably really thought that you would enjoy and like their gift.

    As for what you do with it, you can try to return them or if returning is not possible you can either re-gift or donate.
    Thanks Maggie.  Totally agree that the registry is just a suggestion and that buying from it is not required.  We did get some very nice things that were off-registry, just totally not our style at all.  They are beautiful and thoughtful gifts, so we are just trying to make the best use out of them if we don't want to keep them or really don't have the space to (apartment life!).  Thanks for the suggestions!


  • We used some of them.  Exchanged some.  Repurposed others. 

    For example, we got a beautiful Waterford vase (wide mouth).  It's nice, but not really our style.   Currently it sits on my bathroom counter and it holds my hair ties and bobby pins.     It looks good there and it works great.   






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • edited August 2015
    My shower was this weekend too. I had a good percentage of off registry gifts. Most are already in a bag I'll be taking to donation this weekend. Some of it isn't our style (ornate scrolled picture frame and a single gold charger plate rimmed in hearts), some of it we just don't use (plastic food storage containers- we almost exclusively use glass and already have enough; bordering on too many even) and a pot that I simply don't have room for in my kitchen. None of these items came with gift receipts or we would simply return them.

    Everyone will get thank you notes of course.
  • If it was obvious where it came from, I'd return it.

    The only thing we really had was random silverware.  Two full sets of utensils, when we had registered (and received) others.

    We gave them to J's cousin, who is going to college and needs to get set up.

    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
  • Take a look at the stores that you are registered at and see if they have the items that you were gifted. We were able to bring $350 worth of merchandise purchased at other stores not on our registry to Sur LaTable. I know that Kohls has terrible restocking fees, so I would avoid taking merchandise back there as the credits probably will not be as as high.

    Another idea? Amazon.com. I got an awesome coffee maker that I had no use for a few years ago and was able to sell it on Amazon for just under list price. It sold fast too. It's definitely worth a try.  
  • chloe97 said:
    Take a look at the stores that you are registered at and see if they have the items that you were gifted. We were able to bring $350 worth of merchandise purchased at other stores not on our registry to Sur LaTable. I know that Kohls has terrible restocking fees, so I would avoid taking merchandise back there as the credits probably will not be as as high.

    Another idea? Amazon.com. I got an awesome coffee maker that I had no use for a few years ago and was able to sell it on Amazon for just under list price. It sold fast too. It's definitely worth a try.  
    Awesome ideas, @chloe97 - thank you!!!


  • I googled some of the UPC numbers and looked at stores that sold them, luckily, for us almost everythign was sold at Macy;s and they took back things I KNEW weren't bought there :)
  • We got really lucky with the majority of our non-registry items in that a lot of them were things that we really liked and could also use around the house. There were a few things though that were either awful or just extraneous.

    I gave this bendy floor lamp to my dad. He LOVES it for his office because it doesn't have any sort of overhead light in it.

    I'm going to regift some of the frames and other random items or just White Elephant them away. Otherwise it's all going to Goodwill.



  • I googled some of the UPC numbers and looked at stores that sold them, luckily, for us almost everythign was sold at Macy;s and they took back things I KNEW weren't bought there :)
    That seems a little unethical, lol. Were the gifts really that dreadful to resort to that? 
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I googled some of the UPC numbers and looked at stores that sold them, luckily, for us almost everythign was sold at Macy;s and they took back things I KNEW weren't bought there :)
    That seems a little unethical, lol. Were the gifts really that dreadful to resort to that? 
    *** Boxes**
    I did that too. I didn't feel bad about it at all because 1) they can still resell that item they already stock and 2) they gave us like $20 for an item they were selling at $140 because there wasn't proof of receipt. So it would be quite the profit for them. We just returned it anyway and took the $20 because we didn't want to bother with reselling/dealing with that item. And yes, the gift was pretty dang dreadful, a waste of space we would have never even taken out of the box.
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