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Etiquette

Is it rude to say 'no shots no doubles'?

Hi all!

Can I preface this by saying I have had so much help from this board both when lurking and also asking a question.  Thanks for that!

Ok, so our venue does not let us bring our own alcohol, you have to buy it all through them (at normal bar prices).  However, they will stock the bar with as much or as little as you like.  We have full control of the bar with them.  If we want only beer, or 20 gins, that's cool, and we don't have to buy back half empty bottles.

We were firstly going to go with wine, beer and soft drinks only, but looking at our guest list there are a few people that would prefer vodka and whiskey etc.  We were thinking as mixed drinks cost the same for us roughly it would be rude to not give them the drink of their preference.  Therefore we think we should ask the venue for an open bar.  However....

Some friends and also vendors have recommended a No Shots No Doubles policy at the bar.

I am totally in agreement with the No Shots policy.  Firstly I think it might be a rule of our venue, secondly, in our friendship circles on normal nights out, some guy will go to the bar, spend £50 on shots and make people drink them whether they want one or not.  No offence but I don't want people doing that with our money IYKWIM???

However for the No Doubles it's different.  What if our guests just prefer the taste of a double?  It seems a bit rude to say you can have 2 gin & tonics but not a double???

Thoughts much appreciated!  

Re: Is it rude to say 'no shots no doubles'?

  • P.S.  This is a consumption bar.  In Scotland legislation prevents venues from offering a bar that is paid per person per hour.
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I don't think no shots is rude.  I've worked those types of weddings.   Guests get a little bummed, but we blame it on our policy not the hosts, so they really have not choice to get over it.

    I've never had a request for no doubles.   Actually, I get few requests for them.  One or 2 guys per party, but that is about it.  I don't think it's horrible to say no doubles.   The guests will just think it's a venue thing anyway. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    MesmrEwe
  • ScottishSarahScottishSarah member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments First Answer
    edited September 2015
    lyndausvi said:
    I don't think no shots is rude.  I've worked those types of weddings.   Guests get a little bummed, but we blame it on our policy not the hosts, so they really have not choice to get over it.

    I've never had a request for no doubles.   Actually, I get few requests for them.  One or 2 guys per party, but that is about it.  I don't think it's horrible to say no doubles.   The guests will just think it's a venue thing anyway. 
    Thank you for that.  So it's normally just a few requests for doubles?  That's exactly what I was thinking.  How many people are really going to ask for doubles anyway???  It can't possibly be enough to make it worthwhile preventing it???  
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    lyndausvi said:
    I don't think no shots is rude.  I've worked those types of weddings.   Guests get a little bummed, but we blame it on our policy not the hosts, so they really have not choice to get over it.

    I've never had a request for no doubles.   Actually, I get few requests for them.  One or 2 guys per party, but that is about it.  I don't think it's horrible to say no doubles.   The guests will just think it's a venue thing anyway. 
    Thank you for that.  So it's normally just a few requests for doubles?  That's exactly what I was thinking.  How many people are really going to ask for doubles anyway???  It can't possibly be enough to make it worthwhile preventing it???  
    it really depends on your crowd.  Some crowds have more double drinkers than others.  In my own experience it's just a few per party that ask for doubles.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Thank you again, most of our crowd are beer/wine drinkers...  
  • arrrghmateyarrrghmatey member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited September 2015
    I'd let the bartender know that you wish not to serve shots or doubles. If anyone asks, the bartender can politely tell them that shots and doubles are not being offered. Our venue does not allow shots or doubles, but we're not putting signs or anything like that to let people know. If people ask, the bartender will tell them that shots and doubles aren't being offered.
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  • I don't think a no shot policy is out of line (I've been to venues with that policy), but my go to drink is a double bourbon on the rocks or sometimes a double neat with water back.  Now, to some extent it's economics - usually a double is only a couple dollars more than a single rather than paying the cost of a single twice (at least in my region - maybe some places make you actually pay twice the cost of a single).  Also, I just really, really like my whiskey, bourbon in particular.  So, I might be slightly perturbed, but it's not a huge deal. 

    And since you're paying for it, it doesn't really matter.  If your bar is just basing it based on total bottles consumed, it shouldn't matter.  Though, I've worked consumption bars where we just rang up drinks in the till like we normally do to keep track and presented the hosts with the total at the end of the night - so two singles would ring up as $14 (7/drink) and a double would ring up as I think it was $10 or $11.  So if your venue is coming up with your total like that, then it would be advantageous to you to allow doubles.  If not, then it doesn't matter.
    SP29[Deleted User]
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    jacques27 said:
    I don't think a no shot policy is out of line (I've been to venues with that policy), but my go to drink is a double bourbon on the rocks or sometimes a double neat with water back.  Now, to some extent it's economics - usually a double is only a couple dollars more than a single rather than paying the cost of a single twice (at least in my region - maybe some places make you actually pay twice the cost of a single).  Also, I just really, really like my whiskey, bourbon in particular.  So, I might be slightly perturbed, but it's not a huge deal. 

    And since you're paying for it, it doesn't really matter.  If your bar is just basing it based on total bottles consumed, it shouldn't matter.  Though, I've worked consumption bars where we just rang up drinks in the till like we normally do to keep track and presented the hosts with the total at the end of the night - so two singles would ring up as $14 (7/drink) and a double would ring up as I think it was $10 or $11.  So if your venue is coming up with your total like that, then it would be advantageous to you to allow doubles.  If not, then it doesn't matter.
    Where I work a double is double the costs of a single.     

    We have a no shot policy.  No single or double neat with a water back, as they are basically a shot for some people.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I think "no shots" is pretty common. Many venues don't allow it. I have never heard of no doubles but I'm not in the habit of asking for them, so I wouldn't know!

    At my SILs recent wedding they had a full bar and there were a number of guests drinking LARGE quantities of whiskey from wine glasses. I asked for a Jameson neat as a nightcap and they informed me "no shots." I eventually got my drink but I don't understand how "no shots" was the rule of the night...yet pouring four-plus ounces of whiskey into a wine glass was A-OK. ;)
  • I think these are reasonable rules. As other folks said, a lot of venues have a "no shots" rule already, so your guests won't think twice about it. And the few guests who do prefer doubles shouldn't be too worried; afterall, they're not the ones who have to worry about paying for the additional drink. So many weddings are beer & wine only (that's what I'm doing), your liquor-loving guests will probably just be happy that they get their choice of mixed drink at all. :)
  • Woo, I'm getting married in Scotland too!

    As for your actual questions, I think 'no shots' is fine. Most wedding I've been to lately have been no shots, and it hasn't bothered anyone. I don't really see the point in no doubles to be honest, but I certainly don't think it's rude, and I don't think it would really bother doubles drinkers.
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  • ScottishSarahScottishSarah member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments First Answer
    edited September 2015
    Thanks all, I'm really glad it's not considered rude or would piss off my guests. @vanadisisland ((waves))  where are you getting married?
  • ScottishSarahScottishSarah member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments First Answer
    edited September 2015
    double post
  • Thanks all, I'm really glad it's not considered rude or would piss off my guests. @vanadisisland ((waves))  where are you getting married?
    ((waves back)) Stirling Castle
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  • Cool, I'm Fingask Castle in Perthshire, a few months before you!  

    ((waves back)) Stirling Castle

  • We were allowed to bring our own alcohol, but we hired bartenders through our caterer. The catering company has a no shots/no doubles policy, and while H wasn't thrilled with it at first, it turned out not to be a big deal at all. We have some friends who could down 5 shots in an hour, so from my perspective, no shots was a good thing... The only odd part is that they wouldn't pour straight liquor over rocks either, but you COULD request liquor with water. Seems like a strange distinction, but whatever.

    I was more concerned about no doubles, but it didn't seem like anyone really requested doubles anyway. Granted, the bartenders were pouring them pretty stiff, so that probably helped.

    I don't think requesting your bartenders not to pour shots or double drinks is reasonable, but I wouldn't broadcast these rules to the entire guest list since it probably won't affect many people - rather, I'd let the bartenders know to tell guests who request shots/doubles that they cannot do that, but they don't need to explain why not. I doubt many guests would care.
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  • T

    We were allowed to bring our own alcohol, but we hired bartenders through our caterer. The catering company has a no shots/no doubles policy, and while H wasn't thrilled with it at first, it turned out not to be a big deal at all. We have some friends who could down 5 shots in an hour, so from my perspective, no shots was a good thing... The only odd part is that they wouldn't pour straight liquor over rocks either, but you COULD request liquor with water. Seems like a strange distinction, but whatever.


    I was more concerned about no doubles, but it didn't seem like anyone really requested doubles anyway. Granted, the bartenders were pouring them pretty stiff, so that probably helped.

    I don't think requesting your bartenders not to pour shots or double drinks is reasonable, but I wouldn't broadcast these rules to the entire guest list since it probably won't affect many people - rather, I'd let the bartenders know to tell guests who request shots/doubles that they cannot do that, but they don't need to explain why not. I doubt many guests would care.
    Thanks so much all. I've decided that any signage will be tacky so we will just let our bartenders deal with it. You guys are brill!!
    PupatellaSP29
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