Wedding Party

Older Flower Girl Clothing

edited October 2015 in Wedding Party
Hello! 
My flower girl is a little older than average (11, but looks 9). It fits with our wedding because it is nontraditional, and my fiance's 9 year old brother is the ring bearer. 
What are some dress ideas for her? 

Re: Older Flower Girl Clothing

  • Eh, each to his own. My guests are supportive. 
    The problem is she wants me to pick for her. She doesn't care what she wears. 
  • Eh, each to his own. My guests are supportive. 

    The problem is she wants me to pick for her. She doesn't care what she wears. 

    Your guests are too nice to tell you that asking them to endure your 50° wedding is an asshole move, but it is. If you really "don't want to force something on her that makes her uncomfortable" then DO NOT ask her to be in your crappy outdoor chillfest. She (and your guests) will be uncomfortable, and quietly judge the Hell out of you. No wonder that she does not care what she wears.
    InLoveInQueensSTARMOON44PrettyGirlLost
  • Fifty degrees is too cold. You know what I wear when I have to be outside in that weather? Jeans, boots, sweater, jacket/coat. It is too fucking cold for formalwear. It is too cold to force people to sit outside. I might do it willingly for something like a casual bonfire with s'mores, but even then I'm dashing inside to pee and to warm up. And I'm drinking adult beverages the entire time if at all possible.

    I'm sure you have an indoor back-up plan for inclement weather, as that's the responsible thing to do. Anything below 65 and sunny is inclement weather and the wedding should be indoors.
    image
    STARMOON44[Deleted User]
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    NO ONE wants to have to suffer through an outdoor ceremony in winter. Stop this. 

    redoryxInLoveInQueensSTARMOON44PrettyGirlLost
  • redoryx said:
    NO ONE wants to have to suffer through an outdoor ceremony in winter. Stop this. 
    Seriously. WTF is going on here, lately? 
    I was wondering if this was a normal thing around here about this time of year.... 
    image
    STARMOON44
  • Fifty degrees is too cold. You know what I wear when I have to be outside in that weather? Jeans, boots, sweater, jacket/coat. It is too fucking cold for formalwear. It is too cold to force people to sit outside. I might do it willingly for something like a casual bonfire with s'mores, but even then I'm dashing inside to pee and to warm up. And I'm drinking adult beverages the entire time if at all possible.

    I'm sure you have an indoor back-up plan for inclement weather, as that's the responsible thing to do. Anything below 65 and sunny is inclement weather and the wedding should be indoors.
    OFT: I am worried about being cold this weekend, it is supposed to be 64 out, and we have everything planned for inside, except pictures..

    OP: I have an 11 year old sister that is actually a JR BM, because the FG (who are not throwing petals anyways just carrying a kissing ball) are 3-6 YO.. she is wearing a dress similar to the BM's dresses, that is age appropriate..  I believe it is this one from Davids Bridal..
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    OP - Imagine you are a guest at a wedding.  Its an outdoor ceremony around 50 degrees.  You arrive about a half hour prior to the start time on the invitation.  So you are now sitting outside for 30 minutes in that cold.  You have no idea whether the ceremony will actually get to start on time.  And even if it is a super quick ceremony, you will have probably sat outside in 50 degrees for almost an hour.  Now, what would you want to wear during that time?  Also, after maybe the first 20 minutes, you might be ok, but after that you will be not in the joyous mood you arrived in.  And you probably will start cursing out the B&G who thought their guests wouldn't mind sitting in 50 degree whether for so long.  I know I would.

    Your guests may be supportive now, but when they are sitting outside for so long in 50 degree whether, I'm sure their supportive thoughts will turn to "When the hell are we going to go back inside?"

    As for the 11 year old, don't call her a FG.  That can be insulting to a girl that age.  She probably feels she is too old to be a FG.  Call her a BM, she can still walk in with the RB.  She can also wear a complimentary dress to the other BMs. 

    And if we really can't change your mind about an outdoor ceremony in 50 degree weather because of your very special vision, then give your BMs (all of them) something very warm to wear.  This must come out of your wedding budget and should not be passed onto your BM.  YOU are making them stand out in the cold, so YOU should be the one that pay to dress them appropriately.  Or allow them to wear their normal coats during the ceremony and any outdoor pictures.  Your pretty vision should not compromise their health because you are insisting on them being outdoors in 50 degree weather for an extended period of time.

    [Deleted User]

  • As for the 11 year old, don't call her a FG.  That can be insulting to a girl that age.  She probably feels she is too old to be a FG.  Call her a BM, she can still walk in with the RB.  She can also wear a complimentary dress to the other BMs. 


    I think that's not necessarily true 100% of the time. A girl that age may still prefer to be a flower girl (it's a more unique position than bridesmaid, her brother is the ring bearer, some 11 year olds have more childlike personalities than others, etc).

    Though, at that age, I would personally ask her if she'd rather be a flower girl or guest/reader/bridesmaid. But it's not a foregone conclusion.
    STARMOON44[Deleted User]
  • To the brides defense I didn't catch where anyone asked her where she was located. Yes, I agree with everyone that 50 degrees in most parts of the country is too cold for an outdoor ceremony. But for all we know, she's located in northern Alaska or Northern Canada where 50 degrees is warm compared to the -30 they average in the winter.

  • hellohkbhellohkb mod
    Moderator Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited October 2015
    Erikan73 said:

    To the brides defense I didn't catch where anyone asked her where she was located. Yes, I agree with everyone that 50 degrees in most parts of the country is too cold for an outdoor ceremony. But for all we know, she's located in northern Alaska or Northern Canada where 50 degrees is warm compared to the -30 they average in the winter.

    She said the weather outside where they are is typically 50 degrees. So I don't think they are in Canada or anywhere north. Regardless, 50 degrees is way too cold.


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  • hellohkb said:
    Erikan73 said:

    To the brides defense I didn't catch where anyone asked her where she was located. Yes, I agree with everyone that 50 degrees in most parts of the country is too cold for an outdoor ceremony. But for all we know, she's located in northern Alaska or Northern Canada where 50 degrees is warm compared to the -30 they average in the winter.

    She said the weather outside where they are is typically 50 degrees. So I don't think they are in Canada or anywhere north. Regardless, 50 degrees is way too cold.
    I believe she may have edited that part out but someone quoted it..
    If it is that far north they will not have 50 degree days in December, even here in Southern Ohio we would be lucky to have a 50 degree day in December so it isn't an average:

    "What are some dress ideas for her? The wedding is outside in December (so it may be cold). The average temperature for the day is typically around 50 degrees, so I'm not terribly worried about it being too cold. I plan on making accommodations for her if it's too cold (like moving the ceremony inside or providing a wrap). "
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  • LD1970LD1970 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited October 2015
    No. No, no, no. I got into a fight with the venue coordinator on the morning of my wedding because I was in the middle of having my hair done when the florist called to tell me that they were trying to make her set up the chuppah outside when it was 55 degrees and she knew at that temp I wanted to move the ceremony indoors.

    I'd have been fine. I was in a 400 lb dress with adrenaline. But no fucking way was I going to force my guests to mill around outside finding their seats, sit through the processional, a 20-minute ceremony, and the recessional just to fit my vision of an outdoor ceremony. Nuh uh.

    My wedding was at the end of March, so I specifically chose a venue with a decent indoor ceremony space, just in case of iffy weather.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
    TheCheeseWenchhellohkbOliveOilsMomPrettyGirlLost
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Erikan73 said:

    To the brides defense I didn't catch where anyone asked her where she was located. Yes, I agree with everyone that 50 degrees in most parts of the country is too cold for an outdoor ceremony. But for all we know, she's located in northern Alaska or Northern Canada where 50 degrees is warm compared to the -30 they average in the winter.


    Here in Chicago, if we have a 50 degree SUNNY, non-windy day in December, you can bet you will find people, particularly men, in long shorts and a sweatshirt.  Chances are they are engaged in some physical activity.  We would not consider it warm, however.  It would be considered refreshing.  That does not mean that I would want to stand outside in cocktail attire.  I would still require a coat.  If the ceremony requires a coat, it's too dang cold! 

    I'm also old school and would be wearing hose.  While they are hardly leg warmers, it would trump the bare legs in which my daughter's peers would show up.
    HeffalumpPrettyGirlLost
  • Erikan73 said:

    To the brides defense I didn't catch where anyone asked her where she was located. Yes, I agree with everyone that 50 degrees in most parts of the country is too cold for an outdoor ceremony. But for all we know, she's located in northern Alaska or Northern Canada where 50 degrees is warm compared to the -30 they average in the winter.

    Yeah, no. I know people from Northern Canada who bitch about the cold and wouldn't be caught dead outside in it.

    Now 50*F is about 10*C which is fairly mild here in Southern Ontario but, that's my threshold. When it hits that temp, I start wearing mittens. I also make sure I layer up and carry a coat because when it's 10*C here, it could easily drop to 5*C or below, which is snow temperature. 

    OP, I've been in a wedding in winter when it was 5*C(41*F) and snowing. It was uncomfortable as hell getting from the Church to the limo to the reception venue and I was wearing a coat. Please, for the love of all that is sane, take your fucking wedding inside!
    PrettyGirlLost[Deleted User]
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited October 2015
    Life long New Englander, here. Today, it was clear and breezy, in the 60s. I headed outside to enjoy the sun. After 5 minutes I went inside to find heavy socks and a sweater. Fifty degrees (and you can't really count on that) is too cold for guests to be seated watching a ceremony for 30 minutes. If you are set on doing it, at least warn your guests that the ceremony will be outdoors so they can dress appropriately.

    As for your flower girl, her mom should know where she can get an age appropriate/budget friendly dress. 

    If you want to have your ceremony outside - YOU could provide something warm for her to wear over her dress. Or let her wear her winter coat for the ceremony. The parents shouldn't have extra expenses because you want an outdoor ceremony in the winter.

    Faux Fur:

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    MobKazPrettyGirlLostsparklepants41chibiyui
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Life long New Englader, here. Today, it was clear and breezy, in the 60s. I headed outside to enjoy the sun. After 5 minutes I went inside to find heavy socks and a sweater. Fifty degrees (and you can't really count on that) is too cold for guests to be seated watching a ceremony for 30 minutes. If you are set on doing it, at least warn your guests that the ceremony will be outdoors so they can dress appropriately.

    As for your flower girl, her mom should know where she can get an age appropriate/budget friendly dress. 

    If you want to have your ceremony outside - YOU could provide something warm for her to wear over her dress. Or let her wear her winter coat for the ceremony. The parents shouldn't have extra expenses because you want an outdoor ceremony in the winter.

    Faux Fur:

    image

    ......or skip the insanity!
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Fifty degrees is too cold. You know what I wear when I have to be outside in that weather? Jeans, boots, sweater, jacket/coat. It is too fucking cold for formalwear. It is too cold to force people to sit outside. I might do it willingly for something like a casual bonfire with s'mores, but even then I'm dashing inside to pee and to warm up. And I'm drinking adult beverages the entire time if at all possible.

    I'm sure you have an indoor back-up plan for inclement weather, as that's the responsible thing to do. Anything below 65 and sunny is inclement weather and the wedding should be indoors.
    If you make the bonfire correctly you shouldn't need to go inside for warmth. . . the bonfire should provide ample heat, at least mine do ;-)

    50F is FAR more manageable than an outdoor wedding in Michigan in March or a reception in a barn with no heat where the temp will be 40 or cooler

    BUT

    I would still be wearing a coat and possibly gloves. . . even as a BM.  I would not stand around outside for a ceremony in formalwear and no outerwear, not even as the bride.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Erikan73 said:

    To the brides defense I didn't catch where anyone asked her where she was located. Yes, I agree with everyone that 50 degrees in most parts of the country is too cold for an outdoor ceremony. But for all we know, she's located in northern Alaska or Northern Canada where 50 degrees is warm compared to the -30 they average in the winter.

    50 degrees is 50 degrees, whether you are in Florida, Alaska, Antartica, PA, or NYC.  Sure 50 degrees is technically warmer than -20, but it is still too chilly to be standing around outside for upwards of an hour, without proper outerware.

    I was in Ireland last year during the end of October- beginning of November, and it was about 50 degrees the whole time, which was warmer than the current temps were in my area back in the states, but I still wore layers and a light, insulated jacket.  It's not like it was suddenly bikini weather just because I was in Ireland and their temps don't typically drop as low in the winter as the temps in the NE US.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    hellohkb
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