Rabbit/husband woes

kerbohl · October 2015

Sorry I haven't been commenting lately - I've become a lurker . . . Thursday are still the best for the Dear Prudie's - thanks Mrs.Conn!

I've got a question/vent. Last night, I went out for the evening, and my SO stayed home. We just adopted a new rabbit who, despite the adoption agency telling us was GREAT with other rabbits, is very vicious. We've been alternating my other two rabbits with this one between the cage and the backyard because they cannot be together yet. Unfortunately, my clueless husband put them together in the backyard and then didn't check on them for several hours, resulting in my one rabbit being seriously maimed.

I am just beyond disappointed in my SO for this, because it was so easily avoided and now my sweet bunny is so hurt. I just want to yell at him, but it's not like he meant to put one of my rabbits in horrible danger. And this has happened before - while I was on a work trip he didn't check on the rabbits during a storm and they ran away (he luckily found them). But he's so friggin emotionally fragile, that if I do blame him in any way, he may have a fit. GAH!! And so I vent to you guys instead, and bemoan my horribly maimed bunny.

Also, the new rabbit was not injured at all - not a scratch. He's like the Ronda Rousey of rabbits or something. I want to be mad at him as well, but he's not maliciously vicious I guess - he's just scared of a new place.

VarunaTT · October 2015

Oh, I'm so sorry. I have a friend who went through something similar with their dogs. Is the hurt bunny going to be alright?

kerbohl · October 2015

I don't know - I've got a vet appointment in an hour and a half. She's a real trooper, so she isn't acting like she's in pain, she's eating, and she wants to run around. The weird thing is that my other rabbit who she is bonded with is smaller and older, and yet also had not a scratch on him from the new rabbit. I'm thankful for that - I didn't think he was good at getting away from danger, but I guess I was wrong.

I forgot to include the question - I should keep my mouth shut to my husband despite the fact that he screwed up, right? Because I really want to be pissed at him.

VarunaTT · October 2015

I get why you're mad. And he was thoughtless. Realistically, he probably won't do this again (I hope).

Has he apologized?

If I were going to talk to my DH about it, I'd wait for the entirety of the situation to be past so that I wasn't still furious and when it came up again that he had to watch the rabbits. "Hey, what can we do to help you remember not to do this thing?"

kerbohl · October 2015

He has not apologized - he's just been, for lack of a better term, sulking about it.

Good advice - I'll wait until things are calmed down. Things will be a bit tense until my bunny is patched up. I'll be so upset if she has to be put down - she has had a really rough few months. She's lost her life bond, and then got sick, and then got attacked by these horrific botflies. Just want her to be healthy again (I'd say healthy and happy, but she's always happy).

NOLABridesmaid · October 2015

Where is Kuus when we need her? Sorry about your rabbit getting hurt.

kerbohl · October 2015

@NOLABridesmaid I was wondering that - I'm sure she would have good rabbit advice.

If it cheers anyone up thinking of it, I've been playing Mumford and Sons for my bunny this morning because she loves that music.

*Barbie* · October 2015

@kerbohl - I sent Kuus a note on FB asking her to come on. she forgot her password, but this was her response:

This is absolutely normal for nonbonded rabbits who are thrown together, and not a sign of viciousness. You need to bond them. Here are some websites that have directions on how to do so:

http://www.rabbit.org/journal/4-4/tough-bonding.html

http://www.ohiohouserabbitrescue.org/bondingbunnies/

http://www.thebunnychick.com/2013/11/19/7-ways-hurting-rabbits-chances-bonding/

more from Kuus:

The biggest mistake I see being made here is that they're not on neutral territory. See if you can use a friend's house, and put them in the bathtub there. The curved, slippery surface and limited space will allow them to interact but make fighting difficult. If they start to look as though they might fight, or if they start to fight, band on the tub with something metal hard enough and loud enough that it startles them into stopping. The stress of this will help them to see each other as a source of comfort rather than as adversaries.

As for the husband, I probably would not yell at him, but rather make him read rabbit bonding tips and such with me, and bring him to the friend's house so he could be involved and engaged in the bunny bonding process. The most important thing in rabbit-training your spouse is that he ends up knowing what he's doing!

from me: I hope your bunny is ok. The eating and trying to play is a good sign, right? it sounds like your SO had a careless attitude towards your pets, which isn't cool. He shouldn't be handling them if he's not going to be responsible. I'm in agreement with chewing him out after you've had a chance to get the bunny to the vet.

I don't know the rabbit specifics, but dogs are very much like this - they need to establish a pecking order and have time to adjust and bond. we've had our puppy for almost 4 months, and we still won't leave her unsupervised with our older dog.

OliveOilsMom · October 2015

Was your H doing his hobby while your rabbits were outside? You have posted before how you feel neglected when your H is working on his hobby because it consumes him so much. If that is the case, I'd be pretty livid that he neglected your pets causing injury to one of them.

I don't know anything about rabbits, but it does seem like they have not adjusted to each other yet, which gives me even more reason to me mad at H for not paying attention to them and letting them all out together. Do bunnies have alpha tendencies? I would think the older one was not harmed because he is not seen as any threat by the new bunny. I do hope you injured bunny is ok.

GBCK · October 2015

Of course you're pissed at him--he did something stupid that caused damage to something (someone) important to you. You feel what you feel--and you feel it for good reason.

And he hasn't apologized or acknowledged his level of stupidity.

I'm not saying that it's a '4 men in the world' level of argle-bargle (yet) but if he's not owning his actions and owning a way to improve from said actions, I don't see why you'd be 'over' being pissed yet.

But probpably hold off on the argle-bargle until the vet appt--which I hope goes well.

kerbohl · October 2015

The vet appointment went okay - poor thing had to go into surgery, but she is really great and acting hungry like usual, so it looks like she'll make a recovery.

Hubby was not doing his hobby - we moved recently and everything for his hobby was packed in boxes. He was working and I guess he got engrossed in it.

Thanks for the advice from Kuus! I will use the bathtub option, and have hubby help. I don't know if his attitude towards the pets is neglect or just clueless . . . I'll ask him to be more attentive to them when I am away, but I won't yell. Now that my bunny is looking like she will recover, I am less livid. Not too happy about the vet bill. . .

mileybangerz · October 2015

When I saw the title of this post I thought you were referring to the Rabbit vibrator.

*Barbie* · October 2015

mileybangerz said:

When I saw the title of this post I thought you were referring to the Rabbit vibrator.

actually, i did too.

LD1970 · October 2015

Kudos on having the patience to deal with someone this high maintenance; I couldn't.

When we got married, my dog and cat became OUR dog & cat, his cats became OUR cats. And if any of them came to harm because of H's action or inaction, no way would I be tiptoeing around his poor little feelings. He'd be lucky if I let his head remain attached to his shoulders.

Glad your bunny looks like it's going to be ok.

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