Another gap....And an all new "reason"

CSunshine76 · October 2015

Former co-worker is getting married soon. My friend is attending and casually mentioned she'd be hanging out after the ceremony and before the reception. Of course I commented on how rude a gap is. Then she explains the ceremony is at 10 am, reception is at 7 pm!

The reason for the gap? So the couple can consummate the marriage. I can't even make this shit up. Sorry to ruin your Saturday guests, but we gotta get it on. The kicker, he's been married and has kids, she's divorced. So we're not talking 19 yr old Virgin bride/groom who just can't wait (hello Duggars). So wrong.

My friend is a way better person than I am, because there's no way in hell I'd attend both ceremony & reception and take up my entire Saturday.

Eta: removed some specific details

hellohkb · October 2015

.....What the actual fuck? How long do they plan on bumpin' uglies for that they need an 8(ish) hour gap?

mileybangerz · October 2015

Brown chicken, brown cow!

banana468 · October 2015

https://33.media.tumblr.com/3edf158c0372c8e32e44caff639c45ac/tumblr_nvm1woVJl61ui564io1_250.gif

monkeysip · October 2015

so.... are they actually telling guests this? Or did the bride only confide this in a good friend?

What in the heck?

emmaaa · October 2015

Who needs 8 hours to consummate the marriage? I mean, just do it during cocktail hour.

banana468 · October 2015

emmaaa said:

Who needs 8 hours to consummate the marriage? I mean, just do it during cocktail hour.

If I need 8 hours I don't think I'm making it to the reception.

Liatris2010 · October 2015

Ewwwww. I would be too drunk to make it to the reception, because I'd be so busy drinking to forget the reason for the gap during the gap.

I wonder how many people show up to the ceremony. I am guessing bridal party and family only.

peachy13 · October 2015

OMG! My boss was actually just telling me that this is fairly common tradition in Orthodox Jewish weddings. Her niece (very orthodox) just got married last month and my boss was telling me about some of the traditions, such as the groom checking under the veil to make sure his bride is the right bride, and how the women and men have to be separate. Then she mentioned that the bride/groom go into a little room after the ceremony to "be together." She said at her own wedding, she and her husband took the time to just relax, eat, drink, and "kiss a little." But some couples, who have never slept together, take the time to actually do it.

Yowza.

peachy13 · October 2015

Also doesn't this happen in the 40 Year Old Virgin? Like they check into their hotel room early after their ceremony to bang it out?

JediElizabeth · October 2015

This was common centuries ago, when guests used the gap to stand out side & listen to "make sure" the consummation happened, didn't it?

Maybe she's bringing it back?

julieanne912 · October 2015

JediElizabeth said:

This was common centuries ago, when guests used the gap to stand out side & listen to "make sure" the consummation happened, didn't it? Maybe she's bringing it back?

Way back when, I believe someone would even watch to make sure it happened.

redoryx · October 2015

julieanne912 said:

JediElizabeth said:

This was common centuries ago, when guests used the gap to stand out side & listen to "make sure" the consummation happened, didn't it? Maybe she's bringing it back?

Way back when, I believe someone would even watch to make sure it happened.

When it came to royalty, the maids were often used to check the bed sheets the next morning to confirm.

PrettyGirlLost · October 2015

julieanne912 said:

JediElizabeth said:

This was common centuries ago, when guests used the gap to stand out side & listen to "make sure" the consummation happened, didn't it? Maybe she's bringing it back?

Way back when, I believe someone would even watch to make sure it happened.

Only when royalty was involved. No one gives a shit if peasants marry and fuck.

CSunshine76 · October 2015

Ha, love the comments! As far as I know they aren't telling guests but it has been mentioned to some people. I also found out not everyone is invited to the ceremony (ugh!), so at least those only invited to the reception don't have to deal with the gap.

STARMOON44 · October 2015

peachy13 said:
OMG! My boss was actually just telling me that this is fairly common tradition in Orthodox Jewish weddings. Her niece (very orthodox) just got married last month and my boss was telling me about some of the traditions, such as the groom checking under the veil to make sure his bride is the right bride, and how the women and men have to be separate. Then she mentioned that the bride/groom go into a little room after the ceremony to "be together." She said at her own wedding, she and her husband took the time to just relax, eat, drink, and "kiss a little." But some couples, who have never slept together, take the time to actually do it.

Yowza.

Nearly all couples use yichud to share in a few private minutes of conversation and reflection. The idea that any significant number of Jews use this time for sex is a complete misrepresentation of reality, and the kind of hyberbole and othering of Jews that I find extremely troubling.

justsie · October 2015

redoryx said:

julieanne912 said:

JediElizabeth said:

This was common centuries ago, when guests used the gap to stand out side & listen to "make sure" the consummation happened, didn't it? Maybe she's bringing it back?

Way back when, I believe someone would even watch to make sure it happened.

When it came to royalty, the maids were often used to check the bed sheets the next morning to confirm.

I read somewhere this is where the garter and toss came from. They would show a piece of bedding to the family to prove that the women was a virgin and the exchange was.....truthful?

PrettyGirlLost · October 2015

justsie said:

redoryx said:

julieanne912 said:

JediElizabeth said:

This was common centuries ago, when guests used the gap to stand out side & listen to "make sure" the consummation happened, didn't it? Maybe she's bringing it back?

Way back when, I believe someone would even watch to make sure it happened.

When it came to royalty, the maids were often used to check the bed sheets the next morning to confirm.

I read somewhere this is where the garter and toss came from. They would show a piece of bedding to the family to prove that the women was a virgin and the exchange was.....truthful?

Yes, the husband or a servant would supposedly take the bed sheet out to one or both sets of parents so that they could be sure there was blood on the sheets, which would prove the bride's hymen was intact prior to the marriage, and that she was therefore a virgin when she went to her marriage bed.

Ugh ><

Heffalump · October 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

justsie said:

redoryx said:

julieanne912 said:

JediElizabeth said:

This was common centuries ago, when guests used the gap to stand out side & listen to "make sure" the consummation happened, didn't it? Maybe she's bringing it back?

Way back when, I believe someone would even watch to make sure it happened.

When it came to royalty, the maids were often used to check the bed sheets the next morning to confirm.

I read somewhere this is where the garter and toss came from. They would show a piece of bedding to the family to prove that the women was a virgin and the exchange was.....truthful?

Yes, the husband or a servant would supposedly take the bed sheet out to one or both sets of parents so that they could be sure there was blood on the sheets, which would prove the bride's hymen was intact prior to the marriage, and that she was therefore a virgin when she went to her marriage bed.

Ugh ><

I'd be like "I'll just take your word for it, 'kay?"

ShesSoCold · October 2015

julieanne912 said:

JediElizabeth said:

This was common centuries ago, when guests used the gap to stand out side & listen to "make sure" the consummation happened, didn't it? Maybe she's bringing it back?

Way back when, I believe someone would even watch to make sure it happened.

Wait...people don't do that anymore?

....Oops.

WinstonsGirl · October 2015

Yeah, I would have been screwed.

TMI warning

I didn't bleed my first time. It was about my fourth I think.

lyndausvi · October 2015

STARMOON44 said:

OMG! My boss was actually just telling me that this is fairly common tradition in Orthodox Jewish weddings. Her niece (very orthodox) just got married last month and my boss was telling me about some of the traditions, such as the groom checking under the veil to make sure his bride is the right bride, and how the women and men have to be separate. Then she mentioned that the bride/groom go into a little room after the ceremony to "be together." She said at her own wedding, she and her husband took the time to just relax, eat, drink, and "kiss a little." But some couples, who have never slept together, take the time to actually do it.

Yowza.
Nearly all couples use yichud to share in a few private minutes of conversation and reflection. The idea that any significant number of Jews use this time for sex is a complete misrepresentation of reality, and the kind of hyberbole and othering of Jews that I find extremely troubling.

Maybe because I'm a little familiar with the different Jews subsets, but I didn't read that @peachy13 was saying it was common for all Jews to do this. She mentioned Orthodox Jews specifically.

Just like the Catholic traditions are not the same as all Christians, there are different subsets of Judaism that follow different traditions even though they follow the same basic teachings. Hasidic Jews have separate entrances for men. Reform Jews do not follow the same train of thought on that subject.

STARMOON44 · October 2015

lyndausvi said:

STARMOON44 said:

peachy13 said:
OMG! My boss was actually just telling me that this is fairly common tradition in Orthodox Jewish weddings. Her niece (very orthodox) just got married last month and my boss was telling me about some of the traditions, such as the groom checking under the veil to make sure his bride is the right bride, and how the women and men have to be separate. Then she mentioned that the bride/groom go into a little room after the ceremony to "be together." She said at her own wedding, she and her husband took the time to just relax, eat, drink, and "kiss a little." But some couples, who have never slept together, take the time to actually do it.

Yowza.

Nearly all couples use yichud to share in a few private minutes of conversation and reflection. The idea that any significant number of Jews use this time for sex is a complete misrepresentation of reality, and the kind of hyberbole and othering of Jews that I find extremely troubling.

Maybe because I'm a little familiar with the different Jews subsets, but I didn't read that @peachy13 was saying it was common for all Jews to do this. She mentioned Orthodox Jews specifically.

Just like the Catholic traditions are not the same as all Christians, there are different subsets of Judaism that follow different traditions even though they follow the same basic teachings. Hasidic Jews have separate entrances for men. Reform Jews do not follow the same train of thought on that subject.

No, I got that. My point is that this isn't customary for any Jews. Orthodox and Hasidic included. And I think uninformed comments about the weird things "the Jews" do are an inappropriate and dangerous path to walk.

peachy13 · October 2015

STARMOON44 said:

STARMOON44 said:

OMG! My boss was actually just telling me that this is fairly common tradition in Orthodox Jewish weddings. Her niece (very orthodox) just got married last month and my boss was telling me about some of the traditions, such as the groom checking under the veil to make sure his bride is the right bride, and how the women and men have to be separate. Then she mentioned that the bride/groom go into a little room after the ceremony to "be together." She said at her own wedding, she and her husband took the time to just relax, eat, drink, and "kiss a little." But some couples, who have never slept together, take the time to actually do it.

Yowza.
Nearly all couples use yichud to share in a few private minutes of conversation and reflection. The idea that any significant number of Jews use this time for sex is a complete misrepresentation of reality, and the kind of hyberbole and othering of Jews that I find extremely troubling.

Maybe because I'm a little familiar with the different Jews subsets, but I didn't read that @peachy13 was saying it was common for all Jews to do this. She mentioned Orthodox Jews specifically.

Just like the Catholic traditions are not the same as all Christians, there are different subsets of Judaism that follow different traditions even though they follow the same basic teachings. Hasidic Jews have separate entrances for men. Reform Jews do not follow the same train of thought on that subject.

No, I got that. My point is that this isn't customary for any Jews. Orthodox and Hasidic included. And I think uninformed comments about the weird things "the Jews" do are an inappropriate and dangerous path to walk.

My boss who told me about this tradition is Jewish. She was explaining to me some customs of heavily-traditional Orthodox weddings.

lovesclimbing · October 2015

WinstonsGirl said:
Yeah, I would have been screwed.

TMI warning

I didn't bleed my first time. It was about my fourth I think.

Neither did I. Based on some quick googling I've done in the past, it is way more common nowadays for women not to because women are so much more active and more likely to break it doing things such as horseback riding or contact sports beforehand.

And then there's also a small percentage of women who don't have one at all who would be in trouble back then!

Another gap....And an all new "reason"

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