Do I invite?

Re: Do I invite?

• [Deleted User] member

  

  October 2015

  Inviting friends to your wedding is a nice gesture, but the reality of it is, it's not an event that you'll able to sit down and catch up with them at. At least not very much. So keep that in mind, there is a good chance that whatever your relationship was before the wedding, is what it will be after your wedding too. What about asking your parents and FIL if there was anyone that they would have like to invite but didn't for the sake of keeping the guest count down for you.

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• peridotty member

  

  October 2015

  That's the thing ... we've exhausted the lists. None of us have a lot of people that we can think of. I can invite my cousins, I suppose. We've grown apart recently. But we started to get together again recently. And I would like to get back to being a family with them. 

  
  

  I think I'm just having trouble making peace with the fact that people in my life I really care about don't feel the same. I'm an adult ... but it is never easy. 

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  October 2015

  I would go for inviting the cousins since you have started to build a relationship with them. They would probably be happy to see you get married and it would add to rekindling a relationship with them. Think of it as another great family event shared together.

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  October 2015

  You know you don't have to add to your guest list if you don't want to.  Talk to your venue about upgrading the food and bar to help meet the cost of the minimum number of guests.  Remember the venue doesn't care how many heads are in the building, they only care that they get paid the amount that the minimum number of guests equals.

  
  

  Oh and don't forget to add yourself, FI and vendors into your guest list.  A lot of couples forget about counting themsevles.

  
  

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• lembaslover member

  

  October 2015

  If you haven't already check with your venue and see if you can lower the minimum. We did and they knocked it from 50 to 40. Then again when we weren't even sure 40 would make it (it was looking like closer to 35 we asked them and they said that if we didn't reach the minimum it was going to be half the normal price per minimum for the # under the minimum we were and they knocked the minimum down to 38. So that was a relief. Then we got up to 40 anyways.

  
  

  I wouldn't invite people just to reach a minimum personally. And your wedding isn't the time to be rekindling relationships. We're having a very small reception at 40 people but for a 4 hour reception that leaves 6 minutes per person and that was if every minute was spent talking to people not eating, or cutting the cake or dances. I mean realistically we'll talk to people in groups and will get to spend time with everyone but it's still not much time. But it doesn't hurt to extend the invite if you would like those people there. 

  

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• kvruns member

  

  October 2015

  if it was someone I hadn't talked to or seen outside of facebook in a year or more (for any reason other than they live far away) I would not invite them, even if I had plenty of room.  As a guest I'd probably be like hmmm that's kind of weird she invited me I haven't talked to her in years. Unless you're one of the last in the group to get married and you've all been to each other's weddings then I wouldn't find it quite as weird but still. I can think of a number of friends who I don't talk to outside of fb anymore and I left them off because it would have been weird to include them.

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• SP29 member

  

  October 2015

  You can invite anyone you want to your wedding. If they are important to you and you wan them there, invite them.

  
  

  However, if that were the case, I feel these friends and cousins would've been on your initial guest list to begin with. 

  
  

  I think it is fine to ask your parents and in-laws if there is anyone they would like to see invited, but beyond that, I wouldn't invite people just to meet a minimum. I agree with talking to your venue about additions or upgrades to make up the cost difference for you. My venue also decreased our minimum since we were getting married in the off-season, but it wasn't an issue as we were over the original minimum anyway (but just so you know, venues will do that sometimes if you tell them you are having a small reception). 

  
  

  My end sentiments: if you only talk to these friends via FB and you don't think this is going to change (if it is going to change, as in you start making phone calls and planning events together before the wedding), then I wouldn't invite them. Maybe your cousins because you said you are wanting a closer relationship to them (but again, this shouldn't be tied to your wedding, it should start sooner). 

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• monkeysip member

  

  October 2015

  I definitely wouldn't invite people just to meet a minimum.  We ended up with only 56 (including ourselves) at our wedding, and fell below the minimum for our venue.  They charged us a surcharge for that, but our bill was still relatively reasonable, and it was NICE having such an intimate wedding with only the nearest and dearest.  

  
  

  Keep in mind, even if the venue charges you for people who aren't there, you could potentially save money on invitations, centerpieces, favors, etc. by not inviting more people.

  
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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  October 2015

  I'm with Maggie on upgrading stuff to meet the minimum.
  
  If the venue won't let you do that for some odd reason or you still aren't meeting the minimum, I see no issue inviting these people. If you're friends (even if you aren't BFFs) and you want to try and reach out, why not? If they decline, they decline. Oh well.

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