Destination wedding... Save the date cards?

Knottie1425130867 · October 2015

I am in the midst of planning my second wedding which will be in Aruba. Most friends & family won't come due to money, school jobs,etc. However a few might.Do u send an announcement card instead? That way people don't feel obligated? Not sure and could use some help!

julieanne912 · October 2015

You never know who will show up. I would invite everyone you want to invite, that you can also afford to host properly in Aruba. Just remember, everyone who receives a Save the Date MUST get an invitation.

If you determine you can only afford to have a limited number of people there, then an engagement announcement is fine, but also not required.

Knottie1425130867 · October 2015

Thx for the advice! Between us we have 5 kids 20-28...we have rented a house on the beach. I will be more than happy to cook for any guests that come and pay for some excursions....not sure that we can afford to pay for flights and hotels...is that awful?

Maggie0829 · October 2015

Knottie1425130867 said:

Thx for the advice! Between us we have 5 kids 20-28...we have rented a house on the beach. I will be more than happy to cook for any guests that come and pay for some excursions....not sure that we can afford to pay for flights and hotels...is that awful?

Travel expenses (flights, hotel, etc) are the responsibility of the guests who choose to attend.

simcal18 · October 2015

Maggie0829 said:

Knottie1425130867 said:

Thx for the advice! Between us we have 5 kids 20-28...we have rented a house on the beach. I will be more than happy to cook for any guests that come and pay for some excursions....not sure that we can afford to pay for flights and hotels...is that awful?

Travel expenses (flights, hotel, etc) are the responsibility of the guests who choose to attend.

This. Guests are responsible for getting themselves there. Once they are there it is your responsibility to host them for the wedding. I would add that since this is a second wedding and you both have kids, it would be nice if you could make sure that all of the kids at least have the opportunity to attend, especially if one spouse's children are more established and can swing the trip more easily than some of the younger children, and especially since the trip may be a good opportunity for everybody to get to know each other better. But it it is not strictly required.

julieanne912 · October 2015

Maggie0829 said:

Knottie1425130867 said:

Thx for the advice! Between us we have 5 kids 20-28...we have rented a house on the beach. I will be more than happy to cook for any guests that come and pay for some excursions....not sure that we can afford to pay for flights and hotels...is that awful?

Travel expenses (flights, hotel, etc) are the responsibility of the guests who choose to attend.

Yes, correct. I would also treat any guests that come to a nice welcome/rehearsal dinner. Not cooked by you... in an actual restaurant.

Knottie1425130867 · October 2015

I have planned a sunset cruise after the rehearsal....all of the kids are coming as we have known each other for several years. The dinner after the beach ceremony is being catered as well as breakfast the next morning.

CMGragain · October 2015

Wedding announcements are sent out AFTER your wedding, not before.

CMGragain · October 2015

julieanne912 said:

You never know who will show up. I would invite everyone you want to invite, that you can also afford to host properly in Aruba. Just remember, everyone who receives a Save the Date MUST get an invitation.

If you determine you can only afford to have a limited number of people there, then an engagement announcement is fine, but also not required.

Engagement announcements are never sent in the mail! They are printed in the newspaper.

Knottie1425130867 · October 2015

Our local paper doesn't print them anymore....

jacques27 · October 2015

Knottie1425130867 said:

I am in the midst of planning my second wedding which will be in Aruba. Most friends & family won't come due to money, school jobs,etc. However a few might.Do u send an announcement card instead? That way people don't feel obligated? Not sure and could use some help!

1. Guests are responsible for their travel. As PPs said, your job is to host them properly once they get there.

2. I'm usually anti-save the date, but I feel like in the case of a DW they are a must to give people enough time to plan and save up.

3a. Anyone given a save the date must be invited.

3b. Assume anyone you give a save the date to is planning to attend. In other words, don't treat save the dates like an announcement. Don't treat them like a way to be inclusive without the commitment of having to actually attend. You should be prepared to fully host everyone you send a save the date. If you send out 50, from a budget and venue standpoint you should be fully prepared to properly host 50 even if 20 already told you up front they wouldn't be able to attend.

Also, don't invite people or send save the dates out of obligation. If you're just doing it to make them feel good, then just send them a wedding announcement in the mail after the event is over.

3c. Don't base whether you send save the dates based on what you assume someone's financial situation or availability will allow. A save the date or invitation is not a summons - you are not obligating them to attend - they are capable of saying no. Don't pre-emptively make the decision for them because you think you know their own situation better than they do. If you are prepared to host them and you genuinely want them in attendance, then send them one.

spockforprez · October 2015

Just wanted to clarify that by second wedding you mean your legal ceremony to your 2nd husband? Not a 2nd/symbolic ceremony?

Destination wedding... Save the date cards?

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