Budget Weddings Forum

How I went from a $30,000 wedding to a $12,000 wedding + honeymoon

I got engaged in January 2015 while in Hawaii. My fiance and I love to travel, and are very careful about saving "date night" money for trips. We are not extravagant people by any means, but we definitely wanted a "big, dream" wedding. In February of this year, we reserved our venue. Absolutely gorgeous setting. It was $3000. We planned our wedding for March 2016. Then the problems started.
We didn't even think about the cost when we found out that we could only use their caterer and alcohol. We were so excited about the idea of getting married in such a beautiful setting that we booked it without a second thought.
We have large families and since we both work at the same place, lots of friends and coworkers that we couldn't imagine not inviting. The food was $40 a person. Bar was around $20 a person. Then add in the fact that we had to rent linens. Place settings. Chairs. Hire a DJ. (We LOVE  to dance, so that was a necessity). Get a cake (again, we are cake lovers). Pay for hair, makeup, suits... I could do my own makeup and hair. We were willing to settle. But after doing the math, we were looking at a wedding that cost about $80-100 a person. Even with help from some family members, there was literally no way at ALL that we could make this wedding happen without going into extreme debt. I am about to start nursing school and won't be able to work as much as I used to, so I won't be able to help pay off the debt much.

Also us being travel lovers, we are DYING to take a honeymoon. If we had kept our day in March 2016, we would not have been able to go on a honeymoon due to our school schedules.

So we canceled our wedding! Talked to our venue and explained the money situation. They couldn't give us back out $2,000 deposit, but they were incredibly kind and broke our contract so that we wouldn't have to pay anything extra. We changed our date to December 2015 in order to go on a honeymoon.
Miraculously, all of our vendors (DJ, photographer, cake, etc) were available for the date we chose.
We chose a delicious food vendor for less than $10 a person as opposed to the original $40 a person (enchiladas, mmm) and we chose a lovely church and their church hall for our reception area.

This was the hardest part for me. The church hall is plain. Very plain and very, well, church-hall ish. Nowhere near the glamour of our original venue. However, my MOH and I realized this leaves way more room for decorations! Got tons of candleholders and candleholders for $50 total, fixed them up with a diy project. Flowers will be from a wonderful local vendor who charges crazy reasonable rates. And best of all, the people at the church are WONDERFUL. They have the best colored linens at a good quality for a great, cheap price. The linens go perfectly with our theme and look so classy while still being cheap. Also, they provide the bartenders, who work for tips only! So we are able to bring in our own alcohol which is literally saving us thousands of more dollars.

We are also going on a honeymoon to Disneyworld, which is in no way cheap, BUT we were able to fit that into our budget based on the money we saved from canceling the original wedding. And yes, it really is all happening for less than $12,000!

I am aware that is in no way a cheap figure, trust me. But the fact of the matter is, it is less than HALF of what we were originally going to spend. It took me hours and hours of digging, reading reviews, and making phone calls to find such affordable vendors. But I made it happen by some miracle.
And think about it - without the honeymoon, my wedding would be a $7,000 wedding. It is doable! Just remember - pinterest isn't real! Do not let pinterest and the weddings you see in magazines make you think you have to have it ALL and that it has to be expensive.

I have been dying to get all of this out of my system for ages, so thank you knotties for letting me rant!


Re: How I went from a $30,000 wedding to a $12,000 wedding + honeymoon

  • sarahjhd said:
    I got engaged in January 2015 while in Hawaii. My fiance and I love to travel, and are very careful about saving "date night" money for trips. We are not extravagant people by any means, but we definitely wanted a "big, dream" wedding. In February of this year, we reserved our venue. Absolutely gorgeous setting. It was $3000. We planned our wedding for March 2016. Then the problems started.
    We didn't even think about the cost when we found out that we could only use their caterer and alcohol. We were so excited about the idea of getting married in such a beautiful setting that we booked it without a second thought.
    We have large families and since we both work at the same place, lots of friends and coworkers that we couldn't imagine not inviting. The food was $40 a person. Bar was around $20 a person. Then add in the fact that we had to rent linens. Place settings. Chairs. Hire a DJ. (We LOVE  to dance, so that was a necessity). Get a cake (again, we are cake lovers). Pay for hair, makeup, suits... I could do my own makeup and hair. We were willing to settle. But after doing the math, we were looking at a wedding that cost about $80-100 a person. Even with help from some family members, there was literally no way at ALL that we could make this wedding happen without going into extreme debt. I am about to start nursing school and won't be able to work as much as I used to, so I won't be able to help pay off the debt much.

    Also us being travel lovers, we are DYING to take a honeymoon. If we had kept our day in March 2016, we would not have been able to go on a honeymoon due to our school schedules.

    So we canceled our wedding! Talked to our venue and explained the money situation. They couldn't give us back out $2,000 deposit, but they were incredibly kind and broke our contract so that we wouldn't have to pay anything extra. We changed our date to December 2015 in order to go on a honeymoon.
    Miraculously, all of our vendors (DJ, photographer, cake, etc) were available for the date we chose.
    We chose a delicious food vendor for less than $10 a person as opposed to the original $40 a person (enchiladas, mmm) and we chose a lovely church and their church hall for our reception area.

    This was the hardest part for me. The church hall is plain. Very plain and very, well, church-hall ish. Nowhere near the glamour of our original venue. However, my MOH and I realized this leaves way more room for decorations! Got tons of candleholders and candleholders for $50 total, fixed them up with a diy project. Flowers will be from a wonderful local vendor who charges crazy reasonable rates. And best of all, the people at the church are WONDERFUL. They have the best colored linens at a good quality for a great, cheap price. The linens go perfectly with our theme and look so classy while still being cheap. Also, they provide the bartenders, who work for tips only! So we are able to bring in our own alcohol which is literally saving us thousands of more dollars.

    We are also going on a honeymoon to Disneyworld, which is in no way cheap, BUT we were able to fit that into our budget based on the money we saved from canceling the original wedding. And yes, it really is all happening for less than $12,000!

    I am aware that is in no way a cheap figure, trust me. But the fact of the matter is, it is less than HALF of what we were originally going to spend. It took me hours and hours of digging, reading reviews, and making phone calls to find such affordable vendors. But I made it happen by some miracle.
    And think about it - without the honeymoon, my wedding would be a $7,000 wedding. It is doable! Just remember - pinterest isn't real! Do not let pinterest and the weddings you see in magazines make you think you have to have it ALL and that it has to be expensive.

    I have been dying to get all of this out of my system for ages, so thank you knotties for letting me rant!


    Your new plan sounds great; I just want to clarify that you and your FI are the ones who are going to be tipping the bartender, not your guests, right? 



  • Of course we will be providing them with a tip, however, our venue rules are that we do have to have a tip jar available at the bar for guests to tip if they so wish. I don't know if that's uncommon in other places, but I've seen tip jars at a wedding bar here in TX at every wedding I've ever been to. But regardless, bartenders will absolutely be taken care of; I just won't have to pay the crazy insane fees every other service charges.
  • Of course we will be providing them with a tip, however, our venue rules are that we do have to have a tip jar available at the bar for guests to tip if they so wish. I don't know if that's uncommon in other places, but I've seen tip jars at a wedding bar here in TX at every wedding I've ever been to. But regardless, bartenders will absolutely be taken care of; I just won't have to pay the crazy insane fees every other service charges.
  • Congrats! Sounds like you worked as a team and made a very smart decision! We did very similar to you, cut the guest list by 75% and cut the cost from 10k to 4k. You will have a wonderful time, especially when you get home from the honeymoon and have no silly debt to worry about paying off!

                                                                     

    image

  • Yes, that's exactly why we switched everything up! I know the honeymoon part seems frivolous. But we had thought about going on a delayed honeymoon and that made us realize that we wouldn't really be able to take a honeymoon for at least 2 years if we waited due to our school schedules. So it's now or never!
  • I don't understand how the bar staff are employed if they only get tips- that sounds like a pretty bum deal for the staff?
    image
  • The thing with my venue is that it's a church. All of the people who do the weddings volunteer as their "church service". So the bartenders aren't paid employees. They are people who choose to volunteer their time as a service for fun and to help out the church. They have actual jobs and just do this on the side. It's different from a typical venue.
  • Like, the wedding coordinator is actually the director of the church preschool and she handles all of the major wedding details like booking, since she is always there at the church and can show people around. It's odd, but they like their system and it seems to work for them.

  • sarahjhd said:
    The thing with my venue is that it's a church. All of the people who do the weddings volunteer as their "church service". So the bartenders aren't paid employees. They are people who choose to volunteer their time as a service for fun and to help out the church. They have actual jobs and just do this on the side. It's different from a typical venue.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Then promise them more money than they would make in tips and ask them not to put out a tip jar because you don't want your guests to pay for anything.



  • Viczaesar said:

    sarahjhd said:
    The thing with my venue is that it's a church. All of the people who do the weddings volunteer as their "church service". So the bartenders aren't paid employees. They are people who choose to volunteer their time as a service for fun and to help out the church. They have actual jobs and just do this on the side. It's different from a typical venue.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Then promise them more money than they would make in tips and ask them not to put out a tip jar because you don't want your guests to pay for anything.
    QFT. It's rude to make your guests feel as though they should open their wallets at all during your wedding, and the presence of a tip jar would do just that.

    Daisypath Wedding tickers
    image
  • sarahjhd said:
    The thing with my venue is that it's a church. All of the people who do the weddings volunteer as their "church service". So the bartenders aren't paid employees. They are people who choose to volunteer their time as a service for fun and to help out the church. They have actual jobs and just do this on the side. It's different from a typical venue.
    It kinda goes against the spirit of volunteering time/church service if they have a rule that a has to be out tip jar out so they can make money.  That said, I would still insist on paying it all up front with no tip jar.  No guest should feel they have to open their wallet at an event you are hosting.  
  • Yeah, we're taking care of it all no problem. I can't lie, honestly didn't see the problem with it only because it is so common place at wedding venues where I am from these days. I've tipped bartenders at weddings with no issue. But it was definitely good to come here and get that other perspective. At any rate, even with us footing the tip, it is still a bargain compared to other bar services around town.
  • sarahjhd said:

    Yeah, we're taking care of it all no problem. I can't lie, honestly didn't see the problem with it only because it is so common place at wedding venues where I am from these days. I've tipped bartenders at weddings with no issue. But it was definitely good to come here and get that other perspective. At any rate, even with us footing the tip, it is still a bargain compared to other bar services around town.

    I can tell you are a very nice and smart young woman by how you handle criticism. And I have no doubt that you will take care of the bartenders and your guests. I so agree that everything you see on Pinterest is not worth doing if not for wallet but to maintain your sanity. Best of luck to you.
  • SanSmith2 said:
    Yeah, we're taking care of it all no problem. I can't lie, honestly didn't see the problem with it only because it is so common place at wedding venues where I am from these days. I've tipped bartenders at weddings with no issue. But it was definitely good to come here and get that other perspective. At any rate, even with us footing the tip, it is still a bargain compared to other bar services around town.
    I can tell you are a very nice and smart young woman by how you handle criticism. And I have no doubt that you will take care of the bartenders and your guests. I so agree that everything you see on Pinterest is not worth doing if not for wallet but to maintain your sanity. Best of luck to you.
    :) thank you! I appreciate it!
  • I just wanted to say that at least where I come from it's almost unheard of for people to have a completely open bar, and the fact that you're providing all of the alcohol for the event is amazing. At least in my eyes, putting a tip jar out so people could VOLUNTARILY tip the bar staff is absolutely fine. Shoot, if there's not one, I guarantee that there will be at least a few people who will WANT to tip them and ask them where the tip jar is. I don't think the venue wanting to put a tip jar out is you being rude, it's just customary and there's nothing wrong with that. I don't know why so many people have a problem with that..but that's just me. I think that it's your wedding and if you think that it's okay then who cares what anyone else thinks. :) 
  • lrlipins said:
    I just wanted to say that at least where I come from it's almost unheard of for people to have a completely open bar, and the fact that you're providing all of the alcohol for the event is amazing. At least in my eyes, putting a tip jar out so people could VOLUNTARILY tip the bar staff is absolutely fine. Shoot, if there's not one, I guarantee that there will be at least a few people who will WANT to tip them and ask them where the tip jar is. I don't think the venue wanting to put a tip jar out is you being rude, it's just customary and there's nothing wrong with that. I don't know why so many people have a problem with that..but that's just me. I think that it's your wedding and if you think that it's okay then who cares what anyone else thinks. :) 
    The reception is for your guests, not you. It is a thank you for coming to the ceremony. Putting a tip jar out can communicate to some of your guests that you expect them to contribute to the party you are throwing for them- which is rude. If people want to tip the bartenders that is fine, but putting out a tip jar to communicate it is needed is not. 
    image
  • lrlipins said:
    I just wanted to say that at least where I come from it's almost unheard of for people to have a completely open bar, and the fact that you're providing all of the alcohol for the event is amazing. At least in my eyes, putting a tip jar out so people could VOLUNTARILY tip the bar staff is absolutely fine. Shoot, if there's not one, I guarantee that there will be at least a few people who will WANT to tip them and ask them where the tip jar is. I don't think the venue wanting to put a tip jar out is you being rude, it's just customary and there's nothing wrong with that. I don't know why so many people have a problem with that..but that's just me. I think that it's your wedding and if you think that it's okay then who cares what anyone else thinks. :) 
    No.



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