Married couple but husband is constantly badmouthing wife. How to address envelope

[Deleted User] · October 2015

My FI super close with the woman who is officiating our wedding, I haven't met her yet, but will soon. The issue is her husband is (IMO) a raging jerk who constantly complains about his wife (for example : My marriage is shit and a joke, I can't remember exactly what it was but he once posted something so bad, her best friend brought it to her attention and he got all pissy and called the friend out.)) listed himself as "separated" on Facebook but changed it back. She switched her name on Facebook to her maiden name, claims everything is fine (though she will never air her dirty laundry in public, which I respect) anyway...how do I address the envelope to her for the invitation? I have met the husband and he is SUPER CREEPY and I wouldn't lose sleep over him not coming. Do I address to both of them, Just to her, her plus guest and let her bring someone else?

CMGragain · October 2015

You must invite her husband, but chances are he will not attend.

Ms. Jane Officiant and Mr. Joseph Jerk

[Deleted User] · October 2015

I was afraid of that. Thank you.

Jen4948 · October 2015

Have security on hand to escort him out if necessary.

climbingsingle · October 2015

This is not a reason to not invite him. Send the invitation to both.

Maggie0829 · October 2015

Unless she comes to you to say that they are separated and are in the process of getting a divorce, he is still her husband and should be invited. Let the decision of whether or not he comes to them.

mileybangerz · October 2015

OP, if your username is your real Firstname + Lastname, I'd consider changing it ... especially since you have your location listed.

MairePoppy · October 2015

You should address the invitation to both, since they are married. You could hand deliver the invitation so it will be up to her whether she wants to bring her husband to your wedding.

[Deleted User] · October 2015

@Jen4948 There will be, the venue requires it.

ETA words

[Deleted User] · October 2015

@mileybangerz it's not, but thanks.

ETF Spelling.

[Deleted User] · October 2015

Ick. How does your FI feel about this guy treating his close friend this way? Unless there's domestic abuse, you're stuck inviting him, and unfortunately you're not the right person to be breaching that subject with her.

Consider how it would look on her end if he weren't invited. She's not oblivious to how he treats her, and as a woman who doesn't like to air her dirty laundry, it would probably feel like you were passing some judgement on her relationship based on information she would prefer you didn't have. However well your intentions, or how poorly he treats her, it's still her call who she's in a relationship with, and putting her in a position where she's suddenly having to defend her relationship isn't going to help.

[Deleted User] · October 2015

@Spoonsey you're right. I was never planning on saying "hey your husband is a pig and should you feel the need to leave him at home or bring your mom or best friend, we'd be totally ok with it" my FI hates it but keeps his mouth shut as he doesn't want to embarass her. He has asked about it in the past but she bean dips pretty well.

I know I have to invite him...I really hope he has to work or catches the plauge or something.

VerizonGirl · October 2015

In my area, you don't send an invitation to those people who are hired to "work" the wedding, like the photographer, the videographer, the officiant, etc. She knows she's working the wedding, and she knows where and when, etc.

SP29 · October 2015

VerizonGirl said:

In my area, you don't send an invitation to those people who are hired to "work" the wedding, like the photographer, the videographer, the officiant, etc. She knows she's working the wedding, and she knows where and when, etc.

But the officiant does not work the reception. Therefore, if inviting the officiant to the reception, she becomes a guest just like anyone else and should receive an invitation, invited along with her SO.

MairePoppy · October 2015

VerizonGirl said:

In my area, you don't send an invitation to those people who are hired to "work" the wedding, like the photographer, the videographer, the officiant, etc. She knows she's working the wedding, and she knows where and when, etc.

______________________________________________________

Good point, but in @BaileySanders case, the officiant isn't just a vendor that the couple hired to perform the ceremony. She's the groom's close friend. If the friend is being invited to the reception, her husband should be included on the invitation.

[Deleted User] · October 2015

Like @MairePoppy said, she also,a friend and FI has also,asked her to stand in for his mother in pictures and for the,groom/mother dance since his his parents won't be there ( they are not good people and he has severed ties with them)

Married couple but husband is constantly badmouthing wife. How to address envelope

Re: Married couple but husband is constantly badmouthing wife. How to address envelope

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