Snarky Brides

Just a little worried

To make a long story semi-short...I got engaged in March 2015, getting married in May 2016.  Right after the engagement I asked one of my closest friends to be a BM. We'll call said friend *Jen.  Fast forward a couple months to June, where Jen tells everyone she's pregnant. I'm so excited for her, I know she's wanted kids for forever. Then another week or two goes by when she calls me and says her boyfriend proposed (strange coincidence in timing). I'm thinking they may wait a while to pick a date or they may have a small ceremony very soon.  Another week goes by and then Jen asks me to be a BM in her wedding. Of course I'd love to and I figured I would have a lot of time to prepare. Now here's what irks me. Jen says, "Oh yeah we already chose a date".  I'm thinking wow, maybe they are rushing and doing a shotgun wedding before the baby, but nooooo...they chose a random date exactly three Saturday's before mine.  Now I am no Bridezilla by any means but it just makes me wonder what her reasoning is behind that exact date.  I don't mind at all that she is getting married before me but the fact that we are both in eachother's weddings means those last few months are going to be crazy for us.  I didn't want to have to plan a shower and bachelorette party around someone else, but now I have to.  Am I crazy, or is it normal for me to be stressed? Obviously we aren't there yet, but I keep thinking of all the planning and scheduling hecticness that will be after the new year.

Re: Just a little worried

  • To make a long story semi-short...I got engaged in March 2015, getting married in May 2016.  Right after the engagement I asked one of my closest friends to be a BM. We'll call said friend *Jen.  Fast forward a couple months to June, where Jen tells everyone she's pregnant. I'm so excited for her, I know she's wanted kids for forever. Then another week or two goes by when she calls me and says her boyfriend proposed (strange coincidence in timing). I'm thinking they may wait a while to pick a date or they may have a small ceremony very soon.  Another week goes by and then Jen asks me to be a BM in her wedding. Of course I'd love to and I figured I would have a lot of time to prepare. Now here's what irks me. Jen says, "Oh yeah we already chose a date".  I'm thinking wow, maybe they are rushing and doing a shotgun wedding before the baby, but nooooo...they chose a random date exactly three Saturday's before mine.  Now I am no Bridezilla by any means but it just makes me wonder what her reasoning is behind that exact date.  I don't mind at all that she is getting married before me but the fact that we are both in eachother's weddings means those last few months are going to be crazy for us.  I didn't want to have to plan a shower and bachelorette party around someone else, but now I have to.  Am I crazy, or is it normal for me to be stressed? Obviously we aren't there yet, but I keep thinking of all the planning and scheduling hecticness that will be after the new year.

    No. You have your date, she has hers. You both picked the date that works best for you and there is nothing wrong with that. You get one day. One. Not the month. Not the season. Not the year.

    And when you say you "didn't want to have to plan a shower and bachelorette party around someone else," surely you didn't mean YOUR shower and bachelorette, right? Because you shouldn't be planning those things for yourself.
    [Deleted User]InLoveInQueenscharcoalandblush
  • There are PLENTY of things you will get pissed about over the course of your wedding planning. Don't add this to your list. Totally not worth it.

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  • ryanandjoe4ryanandjoe4 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited October 2015
    I feel like this is a reoccurring nightmare of a post.....

    I had a large horse show breast cancer fund raiser, and people use as practice for the largest one breed horse show in the world that happens an hour north, three weeks before my wedding, that I helped my mother's arena host.

    The BM (owns a farm in town) had taken over the pumpkin festival that our town holds every year his first year every planning and hosting this festival. We think 20,000 people attended both days, that was the weekend after our wedding, we helped Saturday and Sunday even after getting home from the honeymoon at 2:00AM Saturday morning..My husband the WEEK OF the wedding helped his BM every day after work to build walls, lay gravel, and prepare as much as he could before we were gone and couldn't help him the week of the festival..

    if she is truly your friend then get the fuck over it.... you both get one day.. one fucking day.. the pre-wedding parties if you have similar friends then they will know not to plan yours on the same day as hers..... also hers is almost a full month before yours.. most showers are planned a month or two before the wedding, so there is plenty of time to get both in before her wedding....

    EDT: fat finger typing today..
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  • My brother is also getting married in the 21st century and therefore stealing my thunder. I am so upset, how could he do this to me???

    He could have least waited till say 2019? Screw their plans for starting a family, my 2nd cousins may not make my wedding because of this!

    Signed

    a pissed off bride xx
    ryanandjoe4InLoveInQueensspockforprez
  • You might just wanna go ahead and tell her how you feel now. That way you two won't have to be friends anymore and during her pregnancy (believe it ir not, IMO, bringing a tiny human that will completely depend on you into this world is way more stressful than planning a wedding) she can be surrounded by people who actually care about her.

    Or else youll be back on here in a year- "how dare my friend! i tried to have coffee with her and she 'couldn't find a sitter'. Putting her child over our friendship! #ohthenerveofsomepeople".

    Seriously, you sound insensitive. Why not call her and ask her how she's feeling? Think about how stressful it is to plan a wedding. Now imagine if you could possibly go into labor at your wedding. This is a happy and terrifying time for her. She needs support and love, not judgement.
  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 The Concrete Jungle member
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