Random Honeyfund Question

Re: Random Honeyfund Question

• aurianna member

  

  October 2015 edited October 2015

  I dunno. It would definitely be better than a traditional cash grab honeyfund.
  But I like the idea of giving the couple something for their home that they can use in their every day lives together.
  
  Perhaps if the couple had both registries (legit honeyfund and a household items)?
  
  But if it's JUST the honeymoon registry, it's still asking your guests to fund your sex vacation which isn't great and is insensitive to those who can't afford to take their own vacations (or perhaps used their vacation days to... attend the wedding).
  
  Don't know. It would be better than the standard honeyfund but it still doesn't give me a warm fuzzy.
  

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  October 2015

  I'm not sure if they exist, but I wouldn't have a problem.

  
  

  I have in the past bought dinners or activities directly through the resort.  I've also had bottles of wine or champagne sent to people on cruise ships before.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  October 2015

  I don't know. I don't mind giving cash to the couple and letting them spend or save it as they see fit, whether that's for their honeymoon, new house, car, or whatever. That's their business. But since I can't afford expensive vacations for myself and don't have time to take them (I think it would have to be for my actual honeymoon before I get to do those things myself), I really don't feel like buying for others what I can't buy for myself.

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• mileybangerz member

  

  October 2015

  I think it would be tacky to announce "hey, we are going to Belize and want to do the following activities. ... (hint, hint)". If someone asks where you are going and decides to send a bottle of wine or something else, cool.

  
  

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• JediElizabeth member

  

  October 2015

  If it does exist, the things the couple books there cost MUCH more than just giving them money and letting the couple book. Like, probably 15-25% more, I would assume. After all, they'd have to have a business model that allows them to make money, and that would include paying the people who code the website AND the people who do sales/relationship building with the places where you can book.
  
  You can bet all their profit would come from charging either couples or guests (probably both) for the "concierge-level" service.

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• CMGragain member

  

  October 2015 edited October 2015

  Of all the wedding traditions, I think the honeymoon has changed the most.
  
  Honeymoon 1947 - bride and groom drove or took the train to the nearest city and spent a few nights in a big hotel.  The idea was to get away from family and friends while they explored the new (presumably) physical side of marriage.  Most popular destination was Niagra Falls.  The groom was responsible for paying for the honeymoon.
  
  Honeymoon 2015 - expensive, luxury vacation that just happens to closely follow the wedding, preferably out of the country, requiring passports.  Bride and groom are very experienced with the physical side of marriage, and have likely been living together for years already.  .The couple is responsible for paying for their vacation.
  
  I, personally, feel that it is really pretentious to try and have a honeymoon that poses a financial hardship on the couple.  Using wedding cash for your honeymoon bills is fine, but to ask for it in a registry is just tacky.  DH and I couldn't afford a big honeymoon, so we did what we could afford - a couple of nights in Kansas City that maxed out DH's Mastercard.
  
  
  

  

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• MobKaz member

  

  October 2015

  lyndausvi said:

  I'm not sure if they exist, but I wouldn't have a problem.

  
  

  I have in the past bought dinners or activities directly through the resort.  I've also had bottles of wine or champagne sent to people on cruise ships before.

  
  My son did the same thing when his sister married.  He was able to call the hotel directly and make arrangements for things to be in their room upon arrival.  He also directly booked an experience that he knew his sister and BIL would enjoy.
  
  
  

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• SP29 member

  

  October 2015

  If you could ACTUALLY buy a direct experience, I wouldn't mind it, but I can see how it would be seen as tacky. Many couples can't afford a honeymoon, or they do something local. I can see how that would feel a slap in the face if another couple asked for a couples massage, dolphin swim, or fancy dinner on an exotic honeymoon. 

  
  

  Also, I feel there are some logistic issues. Like dinner- how do you know how much to give? Sure, you could liken to a gift card. If you get a dinner more expensive than what was given, the couple pays the balance. But if someone gifts you say $150 for dinner, and the couple doesn't spend it all, does that mean the couple goes back again to try and use up the rest of the money? Some money is left unused? Essentially a giant tip to the staff at the restaurant? What if someone buys an excursion and the couple can't go- can they get a refund? What if a gifter buys an excursion on a specific day (as that is usually what happens- you book a specific day and time), and the couple doesn't want to go that day as they planned something else already? Can they change it? 

  
  

  The thing with money is that everyone knows money is a great gift. Likewise, once one has received money, one is free to use that money however they like- such as a honeymoon. Thus, honeymoon registries are kind of pointless. If a guest REALLY wanted to give you an excursion or a fancy dinner out, that guest can still make that happen without a registry. 

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• simcal18 member

  

  October 2015

  I'm not sure I buy the "many people can't afford a nice vacation" or "you don't actually NEED an expensive honeymoon" arguments against honeymoon registries. Many people can't afford a KitchenAid mixer, and I clearly don't NEED one since I went 32 years without having one, but that didn't stop me from putting one on my registry, and I felt zero guilt in doing it.
  
  If there were a way to ACTUALLY buy people experiences instead of physical goods on a registry (as opposed to a disguised cash grab), I'm not sure I see a problem with it. Studies have shown that people increasingly value experiences more than things, and the last thing most of us need is more crap cluttering up our living spaces. One of our favorite wedding gifts was a dinner that was purchased for us during our honeymoon (one of our good friends asked us if we had plans for that night and then called the restaurant to set up the reservation and prepay for the pre fixe menu). There was a time when it was considered tacky to register for anything but your china pattern, but times do change. That having been said, I feel like the logistical hurdles in setting something like this up would be pretty substantial. You'd have to have buy-in from the participating restaurants/hotels/etc., and the money to administer it has to come from somewhere.

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• marie2785 member

  

  October 2015 edited October 2015

  I'd have no issue with this as long as the money actually bought the activity/service, and didn't go into a general pot. In fact, if I knew the place they were going, I might actually prefer it to buying them some random pots and pans. 

  
  

  We didn't have a honeyfund or anything close to it, but guests knew where we were going for our honeymoon since everyone asked us (a resort-y area of MI that almost every MI resident goes to during some point of their lives), and some guests bought us gift certificates for places there. We got a round of golf at a nice golf course, some fudge, and dinner at a nice restaurant. We appreciated it--we had a VERY small honeymoon budget, so this made a huge difference!  

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• photokitty mod

  

  October 2015 edited October 2015

  I don't see the fees going away. For example sandals has long had a rude ass HR. They could easily offer the option to buy the actual excursions, meals or add ons, without adding fees. I mean they are going to get the money anyway...BUT, NO, they don't offer a fee free option.
  
  The way to politely pay for your honeymoon with gifts from your guests, is to not register and then use the cash you receive, without costing your guests any fees.
  
  Here is the info on sandals rude HR. Bc the resort fees and base cost aren't enough for the resort. They need to charge your guests for wanting to gift you a swim with dolphins, that they will get a cut of that ticket in addition to the already added hm fee.
  
  HOW MUCH DOES IT COST TO USE THE WEDDING REGISTRY AND WEDDING WEBSITE?
  
  We charge a small service & handling fee to maintain a professional full service registry for you, your friends and family. This service & handling fee provides an ad free registry experience, wedding website and social networking tools with the highest level of security, encryption and insurance. Our team is here to answer calls toll free, process checks and credit card transactions of your guests.
  
  Adding the service & handling fee to the transaction means that the purchaser will be charged a 9.65% service & handling fee at check-out. Purchasers can receive a 2.65% discount if they choose to mail a check directly bringing the total service fee to 7%.
  
  Guests from around the world can make a contribution towards your honeymoon with ease which means no shipping or carrying gifts with them to your wedding destination. Please feel free to call us with any questions.

  ~xoxo~

  
  

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• lnixon8 member

  

  October 2015

  One of my friends bought us a gift card to a nicer local restaurant we've always wanted to try. We used it all ($100) by springing for fancy cocktails and appetizers we might not have if we were paying for it ourselves. It was really, really nice.

  
  

  If we had extra money leftover we could have gone back, there were no fees and they still got to "buy us an experience". 

  
  
  

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• thisismynickname2 member

  

  October 2015

  I agree that many people these days value experiences over material items. I also agree with the logistical and cost issues pointed out by others. 

  
  

  So, while I would like to say maybe there's a way a honeyfund could be done graciously, ultimately the best thing to do is hand your friends a check and write "splurge on your honeymoon!" on the memo line and call it a day (or, put cash in a card and write the same on the card, whatever).

  
  

  DH's parents, although they financed a nice chunk of the wedding, also gave us a generous cash wedding present. We used it to splurge on black car transportation to/from our hotel/airport. It made a huge difference in our honeymoon budget as otherwise we would have struggled with public transportation. If people really want to enhance a honeymoon, cash remains king.  

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  October 2015

  The cruise industry does what you're proposing. You can order champagne, dinners in the specialty restaurants, beverage packages, flowers, spa services, excursions and on board credit for any passenger. I think it's tacky to register for those things, but perfectly okay for someone to buy those as gifts if they want to pay inflated cruise ship prices for massages and such.

  
  

  I usually give cash as a wedidng gift. The couple can do whatever they like with it. 

                     

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