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RS_Wedding
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No Well Wishes From Friends on Wedding Day
I'm incredibly down today, it's been two weeks since my parents and sibling only wedding and the people that I considered my friends didn't even send me a "Congrats" text message. I told everyone prior to making the decision to get married quickly (military and med school related) that we would have a immediate family only wedding and then a year later we want to have a real wedding with everyone, family friends, etc. It would include a ceremony and reception like normal, we just needed to get married quickly because of the military. The day of the wedding my best friend and a friend I don't really talk to because shes doing an intensive PT program both wished me a happy wedding day. Everyone knew the date. Well we announced that we were officially Mr. & Mrs. on facebook and posted a wedding picture and the people who I thought were my friends didn't even write Congrats or anything. They just liked the photo. I'm really hurt by this and I keep telling myself that I shouldn't be but I really am.
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Re: No Well Wishes From Friends on Wedding Day
PPs have it covered on the "real wedding" part.
I rarely comment on things on fb, mostly because I hate the notifications then that other people also commented. I might "like" the picture but I doubt I will comment even if it is my best friend in the world. I have wedding pictures posted and maybe I have 50 likes but only 2 comments or whatever, it is NBD
ETF: Typo
Also, if I come across as mean, it's because I really don't think people who treat marriage like a game should get married. I have gotten really soured on it, having been in the military and seen it being treated as such.
"Normal" wedding = couple who wants to get married, license, officiant, legal witnesses. Yes, you had that.
The proper thing to do would have been to send out formal marriage announcements, not to post it on Facebook. Having a PPD later is not acceptable. The military also frowns on it.
Also, your wedding will never be as important to other people as it is to you. I wouldn't go out of my way to congratulate someone who is not close family or my BFF. Maybe the next time I saw them, but otherwise no. I also don't seek external validation from social media, nor do I give it or conduct my actual relationships via social media. I use social media for scrolling through and quick FYIs. So, if others view social media similarly, that could also be a factor.
*** I say this because the military didn't make you get married. You didn't NEED to get married. Lots of people in the exact same circumstances choose to wait and forego whatever financial or other benefit goes with getting married because they want to wait and have the wedding they want. You CHOSE differently. Maybe you're choice makes things better for you now for whatever reasons and the other option would have been harder, but that doesn't make it any less your choice.