Wedding Etiquette Forum

Formal Ushering - Does this article explain it properly?

edited November 2015 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I recently found this article on Formal Ushering. The way this fellow describes it makes it sounds very formal and proper, and I really like that. I've never seen this done at a wedding, most weddings we've been to recently did not have ushers at all. 

I think it sets a formal tone for the ceremony and I love the idea that someone is greeting the guests and welcoming them, when the bride and groom are unable to do that. While there's nothing technically wrong with having a sign that says "please seat yourself or Pick a seat not a side" I kinda feel like this would just class it up a bit.

http://aom.is/A6XQ9
(Sorry its a bit of a read)

My questions are:

1. The article doesn't cover how many ushers you need per how many people - if anyone knows a good ratio please share. 

2. Would formal ushering look silly at a non-religious outdoor ceremony?

3. How would you explain this to your ushers, so that they take the role seriously, and not feel like its unimportant?


Re: Formal Ushering - Does this article explain it properly?

  • I recently found this article on Formal Ushering. The way this fellow describes it makes it sounds very formal and proper, and I really like that. I've never seen this done at a wedding, most weddings we've been to recently did not have ushers at all. 

    I think it sets a formal tone for the ceremony and I love the idea that someone is greeting the guests and welcoming them, when the bride and groom are unable to do that. While there's nothing technically wrong with having a sign that says "please seat yourself or Pick a seat not a side" I kinda feel like this would just class it up a bit.

    http://aom.is/A6XQ9
    (Sorry its a bit of a read)

    My questions are:

    1. The article doesn't cover how many ushers you need per how many people - if anyone knows a good ratio please share. 

    2. Would formal ushering look silly at a non-religious outdoor ceremony?

    3. How would you explain this to your ushers, so that they take the role seriously, and not feel like its unimportant?


    The link looks a little odd and you're a Knottie#s person so forgive me for not clicking on it. However, a recent wedding I went to had very formal "ushing"-- a man asked me if we were there for the bride or groom, we said groom, and he walked us to very specific spots (at the front, because we were early.. haha). 

    From what I could tell, there were two ushers, and probably 150-175 guests. I suppose it worked, as everyone seemed to be seated by the time the ceremony started. This was a religious ceremony, and I have to say, I think it would seem odd at an otherwise casual place, like a beach. If your ceremony space is otherwise formal, I think it would work. 

    I'd just ask your ushers, "Hey, we're going for a formal vibe. Would you mind walking everyone to a seat? Just escort them to whichever side, nearest to the front and aisle. Just fill it in, ya know?" But you have to respect it if they think they'd be uncomfortable with it. I've been to a couple dozen weddings now and only one was that formal. If they don't want to do it, don't push it. 
    ________________________________


  • I personally am not a huge fan of formal ushering, but you certainly can do it. It makes me feel so awkward to have a strange gentlemen hold out his arm to walk me to my seat. I will say that formal ushering is probably helpful and even advised if you have exactly the right number of chairs set up - that way people won't create natural gaps in seating.

    In my circle about half and half the weddings had formal ushers, some just had the ushers be more like "greeters" and walk any people their seats that request it, or need assistance (such as an elderly person). We didn't have anything like this for our wedding, though.

  • mollybarker11mollybarker11 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited November 2015
    My questions are:

    1. The article doesn't cover how many ushers you need per how many people - if anyone knows a good ratio please share.
    Idk.

    2. Would formal ushering look silly at a non-religious outdoor ceremony?
    I don't think religiousness matters but if it's a casual ceremony I think formal ushering would look silly. If it's a formal ceremony then it might fit. I will say that I've never been to a wedding with ushers or instructional signs and it's always worked out fine. PP's point about it being helpful if you only have the exact number of seats is valid though.

    3. How would you explain this to your ushers, so that they take the role seriously, and not feel like its unimportant?
    Money talks.
  • I think formal ushering is fine at a formal ceremony, but at a very informal one it might seem out of place.
  • I've been to a couple weddings with ushers.

    Usually it is the groomsmen that are the ushers, thus that determines the number. At my wedding, I asked my brothers to be ushers. 

    At my friends wedding, it was formal, and well executed. The usher asked if we were for the bride or the groom (we were friends with both), and then the usher escorted me by arm with DH following to our seats. At my wedding, I have no idea how formal it was, or if my brothers even escorted anyone at all, as I wasn't there, and didn't really care, just thought it would be nice to have someone (or two) there to greet people, point to the basket of programs and offer to assist with a seat if needed (such as my grandmother).

    I used to find being ushered uncomfortable, but now I enjoy it. At the same time though, it definitely isn't necessary. But if you like it OP, go for it. 
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