Hi all! There are two maids of honor (or co-MOH's, I guess), three bridesmaids. **EDIT** We (the bridesmaids) had been told that the MOH's were heading up the bridal shower and they had a location picked. Then, after the bachelorette weekend when one of the bridesmaids asked them about it, the MOH's stated the bridal shower is not their job and that it's the bride's mom's job to deal with it. When the other bridesmaid asked them about it again at a later time, in an attempt to get clarification and figure out a way forward, one of the MOH's rolled her eyes and said "I guess that's next" and that was the end of the discussion. The MOH's did not speak to any of the bridesmaids after that and seemed to have no intention of starting a shower.
The three of us (bridesmaids) decided we should go ahead and start planning one. A group message was sent to the bridesmaids and MOH's stating that since we had not heard about a shower plan we had some ideas, would like their opinions and would like to work together to throw a cute and affordable shower. After a week, neither MOH replied (but both had read the message immediately). At that point we decided that we need to get going because we only have a small amount of time, so we sent another message saying that since there seemed to be no objections we are moving forward with the plan and taking the bride out to happy hour to tell her and we would love for them to join us if they wanted to. One MOH replied with "Sorry, I need to catch up on this tomorrow, my head is pounding" and the other MOH said "I'm down for whatever, just keep me posted" and that was that. No further replies and neither of them showed up at the restaurant.
Their lack of communication has created an awkward situation. They have clearly separated themselves from the three of us, but despite their behavior I do not want to make them feel like their input is not wanted or to feel like they are being shut out. On the other hand I also don't want to continue to look foolish by sending them messages repeatedly asking for their thoughts and informing them of updates while they sit and don't respond. I also don't want to annoy them with the messages.
At this point my question is this: would it be inappropriate to send them a message and say "the bride is excited about the shower, she is fine with the date and location we chose, please let me know if you would like to partake in putting this together or if you would prefer not to"? And if yet again neither of them respond, is it fair to simply stop messaging them altogether and move on? I would prefer it if they would simply straight out tell us that they do not want to participate but I don't think either of them will actually say that.