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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Mentioning engagement in Christmas cards?

I'm wondering if it is ok/weird/major faux pas to announce our engagement in Christmas cards sent to aunts and uncles? These are all people who will receive STDs and invitations when the time comes. I've only just recently met (most) of them - at a family wedding across the country from where my fiance and I live. 

For various reasons completely unconnected to fiance, several of his relatives avoid the overall (large) family, so this recent wedding was the first time in years that he has connected with them. I'd like to build on the great time we had at the wedding, and start establishing those family ties - baby steps with Christmas cards. They don't all talk to each other though, so I'm not sure they'll hear about our engagement otherwise (i.e from FMIL), until they receive the STDs from us.

TL;DR - I'm sending family members Christmas cards, would like to share our news, but not if seasonal greetings are an inappropriate vehicle for it. Thanks for your help!

Re: Mentioning engagement in Christmas cards?

  • Thank you! This is perfect. 
  • CMGragain said:
    You are fine sharing your news in holiday cards.  You can include the news in your Season's Greetings letter, if you do those (I do!), or you can just write a personal note on each card.  Sending printed wedding announcements is rude, so a Christmas card will spread the news without seeming gift grabby.
    Yep!  I lump this into the Christmas Letter material ... and no matter how corny some people consider Christmas letters - I love them - especially the ones who talk about imperfect moments too... 
  • Etiquette for Christmas letters:  No bragging.  No whining.  No cutsie touches, like a letter supposedly written by the family dog.  No more than one side of one page of standard size paper.
    OK to talk about events like graduations, engagements, weddings, new babies in the family.
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited November 2015
    CMGragain said:
    Etiquette for Christmas letters:  No bragging.  No whining.  No cutsie touches, like a letter supposedly written by the family dog.  No more than one side of one page of standard size paper.
    OK to talk about events like graduations, engagements, weddings, new babies in the family.

    LOL - my favorite Christmas letter over the years was actually 20+ pages long on average...  The gentleman who wrote it was a legislator "way back when" and only had one hand (lost the other in a farming accident) to type it out with...  Even HE joked about it being the "Great Bathroom Reader" but I only wish his family would combine the letters and publish it as a history book of the state... 


  • My only comment would be that this shouldn't replace you telling them yourselves.  
  • There are a few relatives who would first hear the news from us in the Christmas cards only (other friends/family have been in person/on phone). Is this bad, etiquette-wise? They live across the country, so in person isn't possible, and we don't have an established relationship with them. We could track down their phone numbers but I wonder if that might be awkward, given that we've never spoken on the phone before? Sending season's greetings was my idea for a first step in building a relationship... 
  • A&B567 said:
    There are a few relatives who would first hear the news from us in the Christmas cards only (other friends/family have been in person/on phone). Is this bad, etiquette-wise? They live across the country, so in person isn't possible, and we don't have an established relationship with them. We could track down their phone numbers but I wonder if that might be awkward, given that we've never spoken on the phone before? Sending season's greetings was my idea for a first step in building a relationship... 
    I think that depends on the relationship and the family dynamics.  I'm not really close to my mom's brothers.  I think she told them the news before they got the invite (yes, I invited them all mostly out of obligation).

    It's a judgement call (I actually thought about that more after I left my original comment).  
  • A&B567 said:
    There are a few relatives who would first hear the news from us in the Christmas cards only (other friends/family have been in person/on phone). Is this bad, etiquette-wise? They live across the country, so in person isn't possible, and we don't have an established relationship with them. We could track down their phone numbers but I wonder if that might be awkward, given that we've never spoken on the phone before? Sending season's greetings was my idea for a first step in building a relationship... 
    I agree that this depends on your relationship with them. If these are people whom you would see in person at a family dinner, or talk to on the phone occasionally, I would not have your Christmas letter be the first time you are telling them you are engaged.

    However, if you have met these people once, and you haven't established other means of communication (which it sounds like), I think it would be fine to announce this in your Christmas letter. 
  • Thanks all for the advice! We don't yet have other established means of communication, but hopefully will build to that. In the Christmas card it goes!
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