WWED? NWR

BecauseYouAre · November 2015

I have a small retirement party coming up. The honoree has very strong negative opinions on the new direction the company is taking and those making the changes. Those of us organizing the gtg feel otherwise. Know this person we pretty much guarantee they will voice these opinions at the dinner. We disagree on how to handle it.

I recommended the "bean dip" technique. "You wont have to worry about that now, have some bean dip."

Others feel we should say outright. "We dont agree with you and we don't want to hear it."

Or is it their evening and should we let them say what they feel?

AddieCake · November 2015

I vote for bean dip.

jacques27 · November 2015

Bean dip is probably the best solution.

I guess a more thorough answer might depend on how much interaction you expect to have with this person now that they will be retired? I know some people in my office still get together once a week to once a month to get together on break or for lunch with their core group of work friends. Some maybe only keep in touch once in a blue moon by email for the latest office gossip. Some have pretty much just peaced out permanently and don't even bother responding to our invitations to join us for the office holiday party (which quite a few retirees still attend).

I know it gets tiring to hear it, but my guess is once they are removed from it for a few months, they won't feel the need to be so vocal about it. I do have one friend who was fired and three years later would still use every opportunity to skewer the place (I still work there) and I finally had to say that while I understand how he got to his viewpoint, I can't hang out with him anymore if he's going to constantly be putting down my place of employment because I don't agree 100% and it made our time together really uncomfortable. But I think that's an extreme example. It's his/her retirement party - if she wants to spend it venting about her former place of employment, then let her and bean dip when it gets too tiring. Now, if you get together with them frequently thereafter after and months down the road they are still at it constantly or bringing it up at inappropriate moments (like at a baby shower), then maybe being direct about it is a good approach.

JoanE2012 · November 2015

Bean dip for sure.

JellyBean52513 · November 2015

I think this is one of those situations where you just gotta let the person conduct themselves as they will and if they look like an ass, that's not your fault. I can't imagine how it will reflect on anyone but the honoree if they spend their entire retirement party bitching about the place, so if that's how they choose to act, so be it.

Also, you never know, they might have a moment of inner peace at the party and leave their negativity at the door so they can enjoy themselves. I wouldn't stress this until something happens, but the bean dipping is always a solid strategy

Heffalump · November 2015

If this were an ongoing situation, I might go the "We'll have to agree to disagree, now please STFU thank you very much" route. But assuming the retirement is truly the end and this person won't be back in a consulting role or something, I'd probably bean dip for one dinner, knowing that would be the end of it.

SP29 · November 2015

Because it is a retirement party for THIS person, I would try to re-direct the conversation if brought up. Something like, "We're here to celebrate you! Let's not talk about business now. Are you planning any trips once you retire?"

I think getting into a big debate about company policy and direction isn't appropriate topic for a retirement party, which although related to work, is supposed to be a fun social event, so I'd steer away.

MesmrEwe · November 2015

So planning a retirement party for someone who has worked for the company for how many decades constitutes endorsement of his perspective how???

Yes - bean dip. You never know, you may disagree with him now, but there's potential that he's got some wisdom mixed in there that others may not be considering. But more than that, he's not a little kid, he's retiring, he can manage his behaviors himself without a meeting to tell him how to behave which is essentially a slap in the face.

edenisle · November 2015

I vote bean dip. I like exactly what you said, "You won't have to worry about that anymore." Leave it at that.

WWED? NWR

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