Rehersal Dinner

Re: Rehersal Dinner

• Maggie0829 member

  

  November 2015

  H's sister was not in the wedding, but we invited her and her H because she is H's sister and we thought it would be incredibly rude/slap in the face if we didn't.  Just because someone is not in the wedding doesn't mean you can't invite them.
  
  My line of thinking is this.  Everyone who is in the wedding, immediate family, and all SOs should all be invited to the rehearsal dinner.

  
  

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• ILoveBeachMusic member

  

  November 2015

  When my BIL got married, H wasn't in the WP and we weren't invited to the RD. Neither was the brother who was an usher. There were lots of hurt feelings over that one. It was any OOT wedding for us and the other brother. I would invite definitely invite the parents since they are the parents of the groom they are part of the wedding. I would also include the brother.

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• Jen4948 member

  

  November 2015

  best4last said:

  We would like to have a quiet dinner for the people who will be a part of our wedding party after our rehearsal. FH's Parents are not in the wedding, however, I would like to include them as they are family.

  Having said that, FH's Brother is not in the bridal party. Is it tacky NOT to invite him to the dinner as he is technically family? How would you handle this?

  
  

  
  I would invite all wedding party members and all immediate family members, whether or not they are in the wedding party, together with their SOs to the rehearsal dinner.  Not to invite an immediate family member or SO simply because they are not in the wedding party would be incredibly hurtful to them.

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• best4last member

  

  November 2015

  I was already leaning in that direction. I know how I would feel, and I want to go into our married life "happily" with no hurt feelings.

  Thanks!

  

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  November 2015 edited November 2015

  In my circle immediate family, regardless if they are in the wedding or not, are invited to the RD.
  
  It's not LAW, but I've never seen it any other way.    It's weird to invite all but one family member.   ETA - to me at least.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• best4last member

  

  November 2015

  Side note, FH's brother never shows up for family events through the year, and I don't want him to spoil this. However, we will invite, and if he's a no-show it's not because he wasn't included.

  
  

  

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• charlotte989875 member

  

  November 2015

  Good plan. Let him decide if he wants to come or not. If he doesn't that's on him, not you and FI.

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• SP29 member

  

  November 2015

  Even though the rehearsal dinner is technically only required for those who attend the rehearsal, I would always include immediate family.
  
  If BIL doesn't show up, that is on him, not you guys. At least he won't have a reason, "well I would've come if you would have invited me". At the same time, people surprise you sometimes. 

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• Heffalump member

  

  November 2015

  SP29 said:

  Even though the rehearsal dinner is technically only required for those who attend the rehearsal, I would always include immediate family.
  
  If BIL doesn't show up, that is on him, not you guys. At least he won't have a reason, "well I would've come if you would have invited me". At the same time, people surprise you sometimes. 

  I know exactly what you are saying here, but to clarify for any lurkers:  whoever is hosting the RD is required to include those attending the rehearsal, but no one is required to attend.  I have seen some butthurtedness over BMs and others who couldn't make the RD due to work or other commitments, and just wanted to make sure it was clear that attendance isn't mandatory.
  

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• best4last member

  

  November 2015

  Heffalump said:

  SP29 said:

  Even though the rehearsal dinner is technically only required for those who attend the rehearsal, I would always include immediate family.
  
  If BIL doesn't show up, that is on him, not you guys. At least he won't have a reason, "well I would've come if you would have invited me". At the same time, people surprise you sometimes. 

  I know exactly what you are saying here, but to clarify for any lurkers:  whoever is hosting the RD is required to include those attending the rehearsal, but no one is required to attend.  I have seen some butthurtedness over BMs and others who couldn't make the RD due to work or other commitments, and just wanted to make sure it was clear that attendance isn't mandatory.
  

  
  Neither is attending the wedding, but we invite anyway! #JustSayin'

  

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• Heffalump member

  

  November 2015

  best4last said:

  Heffalump said:

  SP29 said:

  Even though the rehearsal dinner is technically only required for those who attend the rehearsal, I would always include immediate family.
  
  If BIL doesn't show up, that is on him, not you guys. At least he won't have a reason, "well I would've come if you would have invited me". At the same time, people surprise you sometimes. 

  I know exactly what you are saying here, but to clarify for any lurkers:  whoever is hosting the RD is required to include those attending the rehearsal, but no one is required to attend.  I have seen some butthurtedness over BMs and others who couldn't make the RD due to work or other commitments, and just wanted to make sure it was clear that attendance isn't mandatory.
  

  
  Neither is attending the wedding, but we invite anyway! #JustSayin'

  Um, what?
  

  �

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• VicTim328 member

  

  November 2015

  I would also add that parents of any minors in the WP be included.  My FSILs were in their cousin's wedding, one of which was only 13. They only have their dad, who happens to be the only living aunt/uncle of the groom.  His BIL & SIL excluded him from the RD, and he is still upset about it.  He literally had to drop her off and pick her up from the locations.  To top it off, it was a DW.
  

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