Pre-wedding Parties

Bridal shower story

Ive been lurking for a while and have seen the multiple stories about brides having issues/talking about their bad bridal showers. This April I marry my high school sweetheart from 30 years ago. Sadly, I made two mistakes before him so this will be my 3rd marriage. I also have 2 kids and a job that I have had since 2001. 

Know how many bridal or baby showers that I have had? One- which was a baby shower for the birth of my 1st child in 1995. My mom hosted that and did not believe that you should have a shower for any subsequent children (despite my 2nd child being the opposite sex and 6 years between them so I had gotten rid of everything). I have never had a bridal shower at all and this is my 3rd marriage. It was not that I didnt want one just that noone ever offered. Its sad because weve had all sorts of baby showers etc at my work but noone had offered one for me there either.

Just thought I would post this for those that lurk and want to complain about how bad their shower was. 

Re: Bridal shower story

  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    Ive been lurking for a while and have seen the multiple stories about brides having issues/talking about their bad bridal showers. This April I marry my high school sweetheart from 30 years ago. Sadly, I made two mistakes before him so this will be my 3rd marriage. I also have 2 kids and a job that I have had since 2001. 

    Know how many bridal or baby showers that I have had? One- which was a baby shower for the birth of my 1st child in 1995. My mom hosted that and did not believe that you should have a shower for any subsequent children (despite my 2nd child being the opposite sex and 6 years between them so I had gotten rid of everything). I have never had a bridal shower at all and this is my 3rd marriage. It was not that I didnt want one just that noone ever offered. Its sad because weve had all sorts of baby showers etc at my work but noone had offered one for me there either.

    Just thought I would post this for those that lurk and want to complain about how bad their shower was. 
    Well, your mom was right - the etiquette for baby showers is that you get one.  The purpose of a baby shower is to welcome the parents to parenthood, not to celebrate the baby or restock the nursery.  The fact that you got rid of all of your baby stuff doesn't make it anybody else's responsibility to restock for you.

    You still have some time before your wedding, so it's possible someone may offer to host a wedding shower for you between now and April.  I'm sorry you're disappointed about not having had one.



    InLoveInQueensYogaSandy
  • Yup I understand that-its just hard to see others do it. I had a lady at work whose daughter had 3 babies and three showers (of course she also sees nothing wrong with being invited to a bridal shower -not a work shower- and not being invited to wedding)
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    Your mom was right. Baby showers for subsequent babies are in poor taste, regardless of the sex or separation. This concept of a sprinkle has sprung up lately for second children, but I'm not sure it's widely accepted yet. I don't think it existed at all back in the 90's. 

    If someone offers to throw you a shower, accept it (assuming you want/need shower gifts). If not, no shower. I'm sorry you're disappointed to have never had one, but it's not a mandatory. Plenty of people are happily married without showers. 
    YogaSandy
  • I do know this. I guess my point was brides who are lucky enough to have showers need to quit whining about them because their are some of us who would love to have one and will probably not have that experience (I know the moms wont do it this time and my bms are all young 20 somethings who dont have the money etc). 
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
    Moderator 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    mod
    edited November 2015

    Oh you poor dear.

    ETA: Why you no move, gif?

    image
    InLoveInQueens
  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird Bawlmer
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    member
    Ive been lurking for a while and have seen the multiple stories about brides having issues/talking about their bad bridal showers. This April I marry my high school sweetheart from 30 years ago. Sadly, I made two mistakes before him so this will be my 3rd marriage. I also have 2 kids and a job that I have had since 2001. 

    Know how many bridal or baby showers that I have had? One- which was a baby shower for the birth of my 1st child in 1995. My mom hosted that and did not believe that you should have a shower for any subsequent children (despite my 2nd child being the opposite sex and 6 years between them so I had gotten rid of everything). I have never had a bridal shower at all and this is my 3rd marriage. It was not that I didnt want one just that noone ever offered. Its sad because weve had all sorts of baby showers etc at my work but noone had offered one for me there either.

    Just thought I would post this for those that lurk and want to complain about how bad their shower was. 
    I appreciate the point of your post, OP. While I don't feel sorry for you for not having had a shower, people need to begin practicing gratitude and not entitlement. Congratulations on your marriage, and I wish you and your blended family happiness.
    InLoveInQueens
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited November 2015
    Your mom was right. Baby showers for subsequent babies are in poor taste, regardless of the sex or separation. This concept of a sprinkle has sprung up lately for second children, but I'm not sure it's widely accepted yet. I don't think it existed at all back in the 90's. 

    If someone offers to throw you a shower, accept it (assuming you want/need shower gifts). If not, no shower. I'm sorry you're disappointed to have never had one, but it's not a mandatory. Plenty of people are happily married without showers. 
    DD is expecting baby #2 and they just found out that it is a boy.  Grandbaby #1 is a girl.  Two days went past before one of her best GF's texted to ask if I would like to join her in throwing a sprinkle, "since this one is different". 

    I told her to check with her peers to see if there would even be any interest.  Since DD is the first in their group to have a second child, I also cautioned her as to whether this is a precedent she wants to set.  Finally, I explained that I do not want to start this trend in my family, and as such, would not add guests to her list of invitees.  I said that if anyone from the family would choose to gift her, they would do it freely and without need of an invitation to an event. 
    ILoveBeachMusic
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    Blue_Bird said:
    Ive been lurking for a while and have seen the multiple stories about brides having issues/talking about their bad bridal showers. This April I marry my high school sweetheart from 30 years ago. Sadly, I made two mistakes before him so this will be my 3rd marriage. I also have 2 kids and a job that I have had since 2001. 

    Know how many bridal or baby showers that I have had? One- which was a baby shower for the birth of my 1st child in 1995. My mom hosted that and did not believe that you should have a shower for any subsequent children (despite my 2nd child being the opposite sex and 6 years between them so I had gotten rid of everything). I have never had a bridal shower at all and this is my 3rd marriage. It was not that I didnt want one just that noone ever offered. Its sad because weve had all sorts of baby showers etc at my work but noone had offered one for me there either.

    Just thought I would post this for those that lurk and want to complain about how bad their shower was. 
    I appreciate the point of your post, OP. While I don't feel sorry for you for not having had a shower, people need to begin practicing gratitude and not entitlement. Congratulations on your marriage, and I wish you and your blended family happiness.
    I still don't get it. 

    Since OP didn't get a shower at all, another bride's concerns about FMIL over-inviting shower guests is now invalid? Or a couple that wants to avoid cheesy games at their shower shouldn't ask about how to get around that? 

    I don't get why not having a shower means she should admonish other people for asking about shower problems. By that logic, I shouldn't complain if I get the wrong food in a restaurant because world hunger hasn't been solved. 
    ShesSoColdJen4948
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