Monday things

mrsconn23 · November 2015

1. BIL (national guard officer) has been called up to deploy to Kuwait next year. He'll be gone for 10 months. My sister told me yesterday. I know she's had an easier postpartum this time around, but I could see the strain. They have a little bit before he goes, but he's going to miss my nephew's first bday.

2. FIL is going to let type 2 diabetes kill him. I hear about his diet, but seeing him in action made me a little sick (he ate 4 Costco cookies for breakfast and a giant piece of cake after the shower) and sad for MIL, DH, and his siblings. They all know he eats like shit and should try harder/do better, but if you try to tell him he just freaks out and yells at you. (I saw him do it to MIL yesterday and wanted to punch him...which was the second time in 24 hours I wanted to do so, as he basically called us all pussies for not wanting to stay up any later than 2am, even though I had worked all day and DH and I had been cleaning the house all day. Plus as he was walking back and forth to shovel another cookie in his face, I was cleaning up the mess the little impromptu party had caused in my spotless kitchen. Yeah, I'm a little done with my FIL at the moment and we're heading into the holidays, so it's not like I'm going to see him any less in the next couple months).

3. SIL's mom (who was like a second mom to me in HS) barely acknowledged me yesterday and pretty much secluded herself from the whole party the entire time she was here. She's had some physical and mental health issues and it just makes me feel bad for SIL because her mom will never be a normal/involved grandma. I know that it frustrates her, but she knows she can't change it. She was just happy her mom showed up to the shower and stayed for almost the whole time. She didn't know if she was going to come or not.

4. DH had some work drama last week and I knew something was up. He spilled it all to me last night and we had a really good heard to heart. This job is just not going to get better. He's probably going to start looking again in the new year.

5. I shared one of my favorite pics of me and DefConn on FB last week and commented how I needed to frame it. I found it on my desk this morning. I don't know who put it there, but it made me tear up a little.

PMeg819 · November 2015

Here are my Monday things-

1. My grandparents are buying a house in town (they live out on the country on a farm). They've lived at their current house for 45+ years and I'm having a hard time coming to terms with it. The house is staying in the family- my cousin is buying it. But they are going to remodel it extensively and it won't be the same you know? Plus, when we visit that is where we stay and I love it because their house is one of my most favorite places on earth. I know it sounds silly- but in a way that is my house. Growing up, we moved every 3 years. It's my childhood home in a way, because it was the only permanent place I knew. And knowing I can't go there for a summer with my kids and just run around the fields, go to the river nearby, or go through my grandma's closet and look at her wedding dress or old family photos is just....hard. Plus my grandparents are getting old so it is better for them (but that in itself is just hard for me too).

2. DD is going to drive us to the brink of insanity. She is just...adorable but trouble. Colors on walls, plays in the toilet, reaches up for things on the counter that are dangerous, tries to escape the house. These things happen in like 15 seconds so you have to watch her like a hawk. DS was the polar opposite of her. This weekend, DH and I were like "she is bat shit crazy and we are going to have to put her on a stake and tie her up like a dog or something". She's turning 2 next week so it'll only get worse.

That's it for my Monday.

Re #2- DH does this and I know several others who do. It's just frustrating because the intention is coming from a place of love but how do you get it across without being an asshole? It's hard.

Heffalump · November 2015

I love Monday things.

1. DD's fun run was rescheduled for today, due to both the original date and the rain date being rained out. It was chilly this morning (frost!), but her class runs at 12:15, so it should be a lot warmer by then.

2. SIL is making a big thing about seeing us at Thanksgiving. In my experience, the bigger deal she makes about something, the less likely she is to actually show up. W/e, we're fine either way.

3. DD was changing after swim class, and the girls were talking as girls in locker rooms do. DD is the youngest in her class, and 2nd grade Sophia said "You know Santa isn't real, right?" Agh, Sophia! On the way home, DD and I were talking about times we've seen him, but I'm afraid the wheels may be slowly turning. I know it was bound to happen sooner rather than later now that she's six, but jeez.

mrsconn23 · November 2015

@PMeg819

#2 is somehow always worse. DH and I marvel at how at 4.5, we could turn on Toy Story, go shower, and the kiddo would be in the same spot where we left him. With DefConn, I have to speed shower so that he's not out of my sight for too long OR he comes up hollering like there's an emergency to ask you if he can get a snack. We call him a nutjob at least once a day.

He called the kiddo a chickenshit this weekend when they were messing around/play fighting. ::le sigh::

VarunaTT · November 2015

I'm so tired. My weekend was really good. I spent a lot of time socializing at the convention and staying in my room. It helped me get some things straightened out and relaxed and I feel lighter. My legs still hurt from dancing my ass off on Saturday's dance night. I looked fucking fabulous too. When your best guy friend opens the door, does a double take and says, "You look fantastic!", it's an ego booster. I met Fallon Fox and now I'm a super fan. She's also ridiculously gorgeous. And we both love Girlfight, so we're pretty much BFFs now.

ETA: I put this in the wrong post. Sorry, but too tired to move.

6fsn · November 2015

@mrs.conn regarding the diabetes- sFIL had it, had gastric bypass and went off all meds. Then he gained all the weight back and he's back on everything. I have to bite my tongue sooooooo hard. Add to MIL not wanting to take action on hearing aids I want to punch them both.

@Heffalump- I keep waiting for 6let to question more. He does a great job of explaining to the little ones that the mall Santa's are helpers, but he still thinks Christmas Eve santa is real.

MesmrEwe · November 2015

1) I had a meet this weekend that I told DH I needed him to watch the kids for both days so I'd be available to help... Which turned into a he wouldn't watch the kids Saturday so I got there at the end of the day when everyone was "glad-handing" after awards... Then on Sunday I made it just in time for the last flight of lifts, and to help load up and haul out equipment. But that doesn't bother me nearly as much as the complaints about watching the kids all weekend and how he didn't get anything done. It's rare that I'm not watching/managing the kids so they had no clue how to react to Dad being in charge instead of Mom.. But, what really gets me, he can't connect the dots that the reason the kids don't know how to respond to him watching them is because he needs to do that more frequently so they know what's expected.

2) DS went through yet another potty training regression this weekend. Getting overruled on putting him in underwear vs. a pull-up probably had a lot to do with the fact that he filled them up - ya think!?

3) A good spot was there was a family here from England that didn't realize their daughter had outgrown her swimsuit when they packed it.. This is MN - good luck finding a swimsuit going into snow season - luckily DD outgrew hers which looked about the size the girl was, so one more thing out of the house! YAY!

6fsn · November 2015

Umm, he refused? and if you still ended up doing it how do he get nothing done? The kids are 10 and 3 how much effort do they take?

MesmrEwe · November 2015

6fsn said:

Umm, he refused? and if you still ended up doing it how do he get nothing done? The kids are 10 and 3 how much effort do they take?

LOL - good one! They aren't even close to self-sufficient yet and DD has her own issues... He's used to the freedom of myself managing the kids most of the time..

6fsn · November 2015

MesmrEwe said:

6fsn said:

Umm, he refused? and if you still ended up doing it how do he get nothing done? The kids are 10 and 3 how much effort do they take?

LOL - good one! They aren't even close to self-sufficient yet and DD has her own issues... He's used to the freedom of myself managing the kids most of the time..

Sounds like you need to just walk out the door and let them all fend for themselves for a bit. I mean you can't leave a 3 yo to make their own lunch, but they should be able to play by themselves for short periods of time or play in the area you are.

My kids are 7, 4, and 2. My husband had all of them and managed to cut down half a dead willow tree, put together a firewood holder, chop the tree pieces up and store them, take down a crib, put up a twin bed.

MNNEBride · November 2015

MesmrEwe said:

6fsn said:

Umm, he refused? and if you still ended up doing it how do he get nothing done? The kids are 10 and 3 how much effort do they take?

LOL - good one! They aren't even close to self-sufficient yet and DD has her own issues... He's used to the freedom of myself managing the kids most of the time..

That is a huge issue. He is that way because you have allowed this to happen.

PMeg819 · November 2015

I'm just walking in because my side eye needed a work out.

MesmrEwe · November 2015

MNNEBride said:

MesmrEwe said:

6fsn said:

Umm, he refused? and if you still ended up doing it how do he get nothing done? The kids are 10 and 3 how much effort do they take?

LOL - good one! They aren't even close to self-sufficient yet and DD has her own issues... He's used to the freedom of myself managing the kids most of the time..

That is a huge issue. He is that way because you have allowed this to happen.

There has been a *lot* of family business drama that has happened since about '08 here that without going into the specifics it was out of necessity that I did allow it to happen (definitely personal responsibility taken!). Now, we're in the final home stretch (with a date) of that drama not being "the other woman" in our lives, so I'm in the process of breaking the habit in a sense with him and getting the kids used to that transition as well (and to your point 6 - that looks about like my normal day - I run the chainsaw in this house, while he's used to 60-80 hour work weeks that have significantly wound down the past month as things are wrapping up and now they're encouraging him to cut his weeks by using stored up vacation time he hasn't been allowed to take) so it's a huge life transition going on that we're fumbling with without completely saying "sink or swim" to him (he's an anxious personality).

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