I wouldn't leave the kid in a room alone with FIL

mrsconn23 · November 2015

Dear Prudence, My 1-year-old son was recently diagnosed with some very serious food allergies and given an EpiPen. Following our doctor’s advice, we are very vigilant to make sure he doesn’t accidentally eat anything he’s allergic to. My father-in-law (who watches him regularly) has expressed that he feels the best way to deal with allergies is to give him small amounts of what he is allergic to. I was worried my very stubborn father-in-law might ignore our instructions, but my husband convinced me I was being ridiculous. Recently however, at a family dinner, I came back from the bathroom to find him feeding my son something that had an ingredient he is allergic to. I asked him to stop and he said, “Don’t worry about it.” I got very upset because this is really dangerous, but he told me I was overreacting. I am furious now and worried about having my father-in-law spend time alone with my son in the future. Am I being crazy, or is he? —Allergic to Father-in-Law

justsie · November 2015

Isn't that the way Allergists (?) treat allergies? I might be wrong, but I remember an old boyfriend going to one and getting drops he placed under his tongue everyday- for some reason I feel like he told me they had some of the allergen basically getting his body used to it. Granted following a doctors orders under their care /= grandfather shoving Johnny peanuts, but now I'm curious.

Heffalump · November 2015

justsie said:

Isn't that the way Allergists (?) treat allergies? I might be wrong, but I remember an old boyfriend going to one and getting drops he placed under his tongue everyday- for some reason I feel like he told me they had some of the allergen basically getting his body used to it. Granted following a doctors orders under their care /= grandfather shoving Johnny peanuts, but now I'm curious.

You're right on both counts. Some doctors do desensitization therapy which is exactly what you describe: they expose a patient to carefully measured microdoses of the allergen, below whatever threshold triggers a reaction. And they increase it gradually over time, and most patients will become less sensitive--many even lose their allergy altogether.

But you're also correct that it's done in a controlled environment with medical professionals and an EpiPen on hand, not grandpa in the kitchen saying "This will probably be okay."

6fsn · November 2015

This would be enough for me to cut off all interactions until FIL could understand the severity of the situation.

TNDancer · November 2015

My H is under the impression that you can grow into and out of allergies? Is this true? ie. I've been eating too much peanut butter and now I'm allergic. If I abstain for a couple years then my allergy will be gone. Is that how it works?

Heffalump · November 2015

TNDancer said:

My H is under the impression that you can grow into and out of allergies? Is this true? ie. I've been eating too much peanut butter and now I'm allergic. If I abstain for a couple years then my allergy will be gone. Is that how it works?

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You can outgrow some allergies. (My DD, for example, was allergic to cow's milk protein until she was almost a year old.) But abstaining does not make the allergy go away. If anything, a lot of immunologists now think a lack of exposure may hypersensitize your immune system and actually cause some allergies. There is a lot that people are still learning about allergies, though.

cupcait927 · November 2015

TNDancer said:

My H is under the impression that you can grow into and out of allergies? Is this true? ie. I've been eating too much peanut butter and now I'm allergic. If I abstain for a couple years then my allergy will be gone. Is that how it works?

My H developed an allergy to corn a few years ago. It had gotten pretty bad but after cutting it out for awhile and then slowly bringing it back in, his skin doesn't react nearly as badly. But it could be a fluke. His mom thinks that he may have been allergic to corn when he was a kid, as he used to get pretty severe eczema (which is his symptom now) but it went away completely when he started to go through puberty. Allergies are strange.

GBCK · November 2015

you can (fairly randomly) quit being allergic to something--and/or develop a new allerlgy.
But your exposure to it before that doesn't really cause anything.

There's delectably some evidence that your immune system ramps up...so my almost sister isn't allergic to poison ivy. Every year, she helps with poison ivy cleanup. At some point, on exposure 5,129 gamillion, she may develop an allergy to it (and heaven help her when that happens, b ecause it will be right after she wallows in it for a day). She tries not to be around it because she figures she'll develop it *eventually*, might as well not tempt today to be that day.

( I know a bioloist who wasn't allergic to poison ivy and developed an allergy while PG--when your body decides to start itself over again anyhow. Of course, because she wasn't allergic, she was careless w/ the stuff shee was using for a class and had poison ivy EVERYWHERE. face, neck, ears, etc. BAD to play w/ the crap)

The Mr. developed a sudden severe allergy to some shellfish a few years ago--but it's only SOME of them and hard for us to pin down which ones do or don't cause it (because he's accidentally done lobster, crab and shrimp and been OK....but we had the epi pen ready because he's an idiot wo shouldn't have been eating these things)

GBCK · November 2015

you can (fairly randomly) quit being allergic to something--and/or develop a new allerlgy.
But your exposure to it before that doesn't really cause anything.

There's delectably some evidence that your immune system ramps up...so my almost sister isn't allergic to poison ivy. Every year, she helps with poison ivy cleanup. At some point, on exposure 5,129 gamillion, she may develop an allergy to it (and heaven help her when that happens, b ecause it will be right after she wallows in it for a day). She tries not to be around it because she figures she'll develop it *eventually*, might as well not tempt today to be that day.

( I know a bioloist who wasn't allergic to poison ivy and developed an allergy while PG--when your body decides to start itself over again anyhow. Of course, because she wasn't allergic, she was careless w/ the stuff shee was using for a class and had poison ivy EVERYWHERE. face, neck, ears, etc. BAD to play w/ the crap)

The Mr. developed a sudden severe allergy to some shellfish a few years ago--but it's only SOME of them and hard for us to pin down which ones do or don't cause it (because he's accidentally done lobster, crab and shrimp and been OK....but we had the epi pen ready because he's an idiot wo shouldn't have been eating these things)

justsie · November 2015

I "grew" out an allergy once. When I was on baby food my mom fed me blueberries and I turned straight up blue. No difficulty breathing, no rash, just blue. My poor mom probably had a heart attack over it. So she didn't feed me any blueberries for quite sometime. Now I can eat them without a problem, which is bummer because it sounds like a cool party trick.

OwlNurse · November 2015

There's a big difference between an allergy and a food intolerance. An allergy is an immune reaction, where you develop a rash, hives, and difficulty breathing. An intolerance is if a source gives you diarrhea or indigestion or hiccups, weird stuff that doctors shrug off.

Sounds like OP's son has an allergy, since his doctor gave him an EpiPen which wouldn't help with intolerances. Allergies are unpredictable sometimes, but mostly you don't know how severe the reaction will be, so you assume the worst. I'm a nurse overseeing group homes, with some residents always carrying EpiPens. I would slap someone for 'testing' an allergy. Sure, nothing may happen, or they go into anaphylactic shock. It's not something to just test without a doctor's guidance.

collegechic · January 2016

OwlNurse said:

There's a big difference between an allergy and a food intolerance. An allergy is an immune reaction, where you develop a rash, hives, and difficulty breathing. An intolerance is if a source gives you diarrhea or indigestion or hiccups, weird stuff that doctors shrug off.

Sounds like OP's son has an allergy, since his doctor gave him an EpiPen which wouldn't help with intolerances. Allergies are unpredictable sometimes, but mostly you don't know how severe the reaction will be, so you assume the worst. I'm a nurse overseeing group homes, with some residents always carrying EpiPens. I would slap someone for 'testing' an allergy. Sure, nothing may happen, or they go into anaphylactic shock. It's not something to just test without a doctor's guidance.

So much this! I have a friend who is allergic to basically everything, one of the worst ones is her intense peanut allergy. On multiple occasions, her throat has closed up simply from touching a table where someone put something on the surface that had peanuts (i.e. in school once a kid had eaten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and placed it on the table, she immediately had a reaction just from touching the surface). Her reaction to allergies is so unpredictable and usually so intense, I can't see how desensitization therapy would end up helping her.

Like the PPs said, with doctors in a controlled environment and proper medical equipment to handle the worst case scenario yes. FIL testing the allergies in the home with no medical experience himself to speak of? Not to much...especially since its against the mother's wishes!

glasgowtolondon · January 2016

FIL needs to keep his armchair diagnosis to himself, I think.

levioosa · January 2016

I would lose my shit if this happened. Any treatment is between my son's doctor and I, not your opinion and an uncontrolled environment. My grandmother did something like this to my brother when he was younger. It almost killed him.

tigerlily6 · January 2016

As somebody who has had a few allergic episodes to a still unknown trigger (my allergist tested me and I had mild reactions to a number of things, so I do my best to stay clear of all of them now), I agree with PPs noting that Grandpa needs to back off.

It was scary enough when it's me, an adult, trying to determine if that tingling sensation in my mouth is going to result a full-blown reaction or not. When things do go bad, it takes only a minute or two before my tongue swells up to the point I have trouble breathing, and I need epinephrine fast. I would lose it if it was my toddler's wellbeing on the line, who can't even effectively communicate when an attack may or may not be coming on.

Lala9414 · January 2016

so I have allergies to an array of things from food to environmental. it gets pretty bad and its year round allergies. i was going to the dr to get allergy shots, where i would get two shots in each arm of a mixture of things i was allergic to in minor dosages and they would up them every visit. i wait in the dr office for a minimum of 20 minutes for them to monitor me and make sure i didn't have a severe reaction. my point being, you cannot determine how much is going to "be okay" unless you are the dr with a chart to see how much (or little) of a specific allergen will cause a reaction. you are very right in being mad, what he is doing is unacceptable. if it were my FIL i would be just a hesitant as you. now if your son had an intolerance as PP's have mention then i'd still be pretty mad but not as pissed.

sparklepants41 · January 2016

justsie said:

I "grew" out an allergy once. When I was on baby food my mom fed me blueberries and I turned straight up blue. No difficulty breathing, no rash, just blue. My poor mom probably had a heart attack over it. So she didn't feed me any blueberries for quite sometime. Now I can eat them without a problem, which is bummer because it sounds like a cool party trick.

I'm glad you were okay!

I have to say though, the bolded did give me this mental picture:

justsie · January 2016

@sparklepants41 You have no idea how many people get that mental picture. My trick is not as impressive though, I don't blow up into a round blueberry. Although I did always wonder what happened to Violet.......

JediElizabeth · February 2016

justsie said:

@sparklepants41 You have no idea how many people get that mental picture. My trick is not as impressive though, I don't blow up into a round blueberry. Although I did always wonder what happened to Violet.......

If I remember correctly, in the end of book, Wonka tells Charlie what happened to all the bad children. It's been a decade or so, so I don't recall exactly what their ending was.

GBCK · February 2016

she w juiced so she didn't explode (in the book)

sparklepants41 · February 2016

JediElizabeth said:

justsie said:

@sparklepants41 You have no idea how many people get that mental picture. My trick is not as impressive though, I don't blow up into a round blueberry. Although I did always wonder what happened to Violet.......

If I remember correctly, in the end of book, Wonka tells Charlie what happened to all the bad children. It's been a decade or so, so I don't recall exactly what their ending was.

I think she stayed blue, if I am remembering correctly.

I wouldn't leave the kid in a room alone with FIL

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