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Etiquette

Facebook friend posts about wedding, not invited

One of my Facebook friends keeps tagging me in wedding-related posts, like ideas of wedding memes about deciding who to invite/not invite. We lived on the same block when we were children and our parents are still great friends, but she and I aren't close. FI and I are trying to keep our guest list down and this particular person has been scratched off the list. Her posts make me feel guilty, as though she is expecting to be invited and will be upset if she's not. I don't want to hurt her feelings but I have to draw a line in the sand somewhere. 

Is there anything I can/should say to her at this point or just let the cards fall where they may? 

Re: Facebook friend posts about wedding, not invited

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    "Jane, I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop tagging me in wedding-related posts on Facebook.  It's making me uncomfortable."
    SP29
  • I agree, I would say something about the posts. But I would not say something about her not being invited. No one should expect an invitation, and you are not required to give anyone explanations. If she asks in future, you can let her know, "We aren't able to invite everyone we wanted", but I wouldn't tell her, "Stop these posts because you aren't coming!" (obviously not in those words ;) ). 
    Knottie1439487487JediElizabethpoodledoodleoooInLoveInQueens
  • This is perfect, thank you! 
  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Also, if you go to your privacy settings, you can set it so you have to approve any tags before the post appears on your Timeline.

    I had to do this a while ago because one of my good friends tags me in absolutely *everything* because he wants to make sure I see it. It drives me crazy.

    PnkBrideOliveOilsMom
  • Also, if you go to your privacy settings, you can set it so you have to approve any tags before the post appears on your Timeline.

    I had to do this a while ago because one of my good friends tags me in absolutely *everything* because he wants to make sure I see it. It drives me crazy.
    Yes! Thankfully I already have that in place. That's what Pinterest is for ;)
  • I am having the same issue, coworkers who I barely know, acquaintances I haven't seen in years, it seems like everyone has been commenting on post I make pertaining to the wedding.  They'll comment "cant wait until your wedding, or so excited", Its very frustrating because were having a very small wedding and it will mostly be family and close friends only.  I have made a couple post that say something like, " Making a wedding guest list is sooo hard" and I've made a post that says unfortunately me and Travis wont be able to invite a lot of people to our wedding because were trying to keep cost down and save for our future.  We'll see what happens I guess :-/  I am very worried about everyone's feelings getting hurt though,
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited December 2015
    I am having the same issue, coworkers who I barely know, acquaintances I haven't seen in years, it seems like everyone has been commenting on post I make pertaining to the wedding.  They'll comment "cant wait until your wedding, or so excited", Its very frustrating because were having a very small wedding and it will mostly be family and close friends only.  I have made a couple post that say something like, " Making a wedding guest list is sooo hard" and I've made a post that says unfortunately me and Travis wont be able to invite a lot of people to our wedding because were trying to keep cost down and save for our future.  We'll see what happens I guess :-/  I am very worried about everyone's feelings getting hurt though,
    I wouldn't bother with the "vaguebook announcements." People here are always saying to keep your wedding off FB, but to be honest, I just didn't worry about it. I just ignored people who commented, and the only people who I had actually push for an invitation were former students, and I eventually flat out told them this was a wedding, not a kegger for everyone I've ever known. 

    Some people's feelings will be hurt, yes, but they will get over it. And if they don't, too bad for them. I'm not usually someone who doesn't care about people's feelings, but this is one of those things where it's going to happen, and there's not much you can do about it. 

    I don't care if someone posts about their wedding and I wasn't invited. I do, however, guilt former students (b/c I never stop "teaching")  into sending me invitations when they post shit like, "I need everyone's addresses!" (they did say everyone after all) or "If you got an invitation, I need your RSVP!" 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    nerdwife
  • I am having the same issue, coworkers who I barely know, acquaintances I haven't seen in years, it seems like everyone has been commenting on post I make pertaining to the wedding.  They'll comment "cant wait until your wedding, or so excited", Its very frustrating because were having a very small wedding and it will mostly be family and close friends only.  I have made a couple post that say something like, " Making a wedding guest list is sooo hard" and I've made a post that says unfortunately me and Travis wont be able to invite a lot of people to our wedding because were trying to keep cost down and save for our future.  We'll see what happens I guess :-/  I am very worried about everyone's feelings getting hurt though,
    There are ways that you can create a specific group of people who will see your post on facebook. When you're writing specific details, just make sure that the privacy on that post is changed to just include wedding folks. For things that aren't very specific, like, "so excited to go wedding dress shopping with mom today", I wouldn't worry about editing privacy. People who know you know that you're planning a wedding. Little things like that every once in a while aren't going to bother them. 
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