Moms and Maids

Too early to buy bridesmaid robes?

I found a great deal on some beautiful robes, but my wedding is in August. Am I getting ahead of myself? I don't want to buy them and realize it was a big fad (although I'm a robe lover in my day to day life - anything to avoid putting on pant at home haha). 

Re: Too early to buy bridesmaid robes?

  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I found a great deal on some beautiful robes, but my wedding is in August. Am I getting ahead of myself? I don't want to buy them and realize it was a big fad (although I'm a robe lover in my day to day life - anything to avoid putting on pant at home haha). 
    Is your intent to give the robes to your bridal party as a "gift" for getting ready photos (like this):  


    If so, please don't.  There are several reasons why you shouldn't do this:

    This "gift" is basically a prop you want them to use for pictures for you.  I HIGHLY doubt they would use the robes for anything else but that.
    Many women honestly don't feel comfortable getting photographed like this.  

    If you decide you MUST do this, you need to remember 2 things:  1) ask each woman privately if she feels comfortable being photograhed like this.  2)  This should not be a part of their bridal party gift.  
    [Deleted User]Jen4948InLoveInQueensSP29
  • edited November 2015
    I will be giving other gifts as well. I realize not everyone feels comfortable in robes, but I know my bridal party really well (all between 22-24 yrs old & I have lived with all but one at some point) and would never do it if anyone didn't want to. 

    I don't see a problem with something that I find really cute and all bridesmaids have expressed interest and excitement about. Every group is different :)
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I will be giving other gifts as well. 
    Are you going to make them wear the robes for pictures? 
    holyguacamole79[Deleted User]InLoveInQueens
  • I found a great deal on some beautiful robes, but my wedding is in August. Am I getting ahead of myself? I don't want to buy them and realize it was a big fad (although I'm a robe lover in my day to day life - anything to avoid putting on pant at home haha). 
    Save your money and buy them a really cute personalized gift later.  I think and hope this fad dies a horrifying death before August.
    InLoveInQueensHeffalumpMesmrEwe
  • I found a great deal on some beautiful robes, but my wedding is in August. Am I getting ahead of myself? I don't want to buy them and realize it was a big fad (although I'm a robe lover in my day to day life - anything to avoid putting on pant at home haha). 
    Yes, you are getting ahead of yourself. Waaaaayyy ahead of yourself. Your bridesmaids don't want robes. I've been a BM four times and never once thought, "you know what's missing from this absolutely fabulous day, a robe!" Nope.
    [Deleted User]InLoveInQueensJCocco219MesmrEwe
  • I will be giving other gifts as well. 
    But the robes should not be considered a gift at all if the sole purpose of the robe is so you get cute getting ready pictures.  

    Now if you are getting them all robes that fit each persons wants in a robe (terry cloth and long vs short and silky vs fleece with a zipper) and they are under no obligation to wear said robe for pictures, then that would be fine as a gift.
    Edited above. But I really appreciate the non snarky response, and if any of my bridesmaids feel this way I would never force anything on them. 

    I realize I slightly opened a can of worms here so I want to clarify:

    1) This is not the gift. I will be giving it them, but I will also be making spa packages with a candle, bath salts and gift card to local to them nail salons NOT to be used for the wedding week. (not asking for critique on this - it's a joke between my friends that the only time my nails were done was during the proposal even though they all have a weekly nails ritual). 

    2) I know my bridal party really well. This is all their first time being bridesmaids, and half of them all sent me pins of robes saying we should do this before I even looked into. The rest I have talked to, and will not make anyone do anything they are not comfortable with. 

    3) Honestly, I have no photography plans yet. I thought it was cute, and saw a great deal.

     Again, thanks for concern I realize I should not have probably posted this. And I probably fall in the exact demographic of people who would enjoy this with us all being 2 years out of college and the first wedding for everyone. I understand how in 5 years and full wedding seasons later everyone may have a different reaction to this kind of stuff :) 
    JediElizabethmrs.mermaid12jm5292016
  • I will be giving other gifts as well. 
    But the robes should not be considered a gift at all if the sole purpose of the robe is so you get cute getting ready pictures.  

    Now if you are getting them all robes that fit each persons wants in a robe (terry cloth and long vs short and silky vs fleece with a zipper) and they are under no obligation to wear said robe for pictures, then that would be fine as a gift.
    Edited above. But I really appreciate the non snarky response, and if any of my bridesmaids feel this way I would never force anything on them. 

    I realize I slightly opened a can of worms here so I want to clarify:

    1) This is not the gift. I will be giving it them, but I will also be making spa packages with a candle, bath salts and gift card to local to them nail salons NOT to be used for the wedding week. (not asking for critique on this - it's a joke between my friends that the only time my nails were done was during the proposal even though they all have a weekly nails ritual). 

    2) I know my bridal party really well. This is all their first time being bridesmaids, and half of them all sent me pins of robes saying we should do this before I even looked into. The rest I have talked to, and will not make anyone do anything they are not comfortable with. 

    3) Honestly, I have no photography plans yet. I thought it was cute, and saw a great deal.

     Again, thanks for concern I realize I should not have probably posted this. And I probably fall in the exact demographic of people who would enjoy this with us all being 2 years out of college and the first wedding for everyone. I understand how in 5 years and full wedding seasons later everyone may have a different reaction to this kind of stuff :) 
    1) I totally love the idea of the manicure gift certificate, especially as part of an inside joke.  However, the candle and bath salts could do with a bit of revision.  I'm just saying, while I love a good bath, I don't currently have a good bathroom in which to have a good bath.  But you know what I'd love???  A classic novel and a warm lap blanket, maybe some cocoa mix and a giant red mug.  So, if your girls really love baths and spa products, awesome.  But if you can think of something a little less 'one-size-fits-all', that would probably be more appreciated.
    InLoveInQueensSP29
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    You might find the robes and pictures "cute" but I would hate receiving anything as a gift 1) that I am required to wear for a photo 2) that is really intimate and that I do not wear outside my home 3) because the giver thinks it's "cute."

    If I were your bridesmaid and you did that to me, I'd tell you, "I'm sorry, but I don't wear intimate apparel outside my home" and I would not pose for any "getting ready" photos. It's just something I don't do-not even for my nearest and dearest.
  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    MobKaz said:
    I will be giving other gifts as well. 
    But the robes should not be considered a gift at all if the sole purpose of the robe is so you get cute getting ready pictures.  

    Now if you are getting them all robes that fit each persons wants in a robe (terry cloth and long vs short and silky vs fleece with a zipper) and they are under no obligation to wear said robe for pictures, then that would be fine as a gift.
    Edited above. But I really appreciate the non snarky response, and if any of my bridesmaids feel this way I would never force anything on them. 

    I realize I slightly opened a can of worms here so I want to clarify:

    1) This is not the gift. I will be giving it them, but I will also be making spa packages with a candle, bath salts and gift card to local to them nail salons NOT to be used for the wedding week. (not asking for critique on this - it's a joke between my friends that the only time my nails were done was during the proposal even though they all have a weekly nails ritual). 

    2) I know my bridal party really well. This is all their first time being bridesmaids, and half of them all sent me pins of robes saying we should do this before I even looked into. The rest I have talked to, and will not make anyone do anything they are not comfortable with. 

    3) Honestly, I have no photography plans yet. I thought it was cute, and saw a great deal.

     Again, thanks for concern I realize I should not have probably posted this. And I probably fall in the exact demographic of people who would enjoy this with us all being 2 years out of college and the first wedding for everyone. I understand how in 5 years and full wedding seasons later everyone may have a different reaction to this kind of stuff :) 
    As much as I reside in "Camp No Robes", I understand and empathize with this mindset.  My daughter was also one of the first to marry within her group of friends.  They all indeed did get swept up in the Pinterest world, and spammed her with all sorts of ideas, from the dreaded robes to the bachelorette sashes to the staged cheesey photos.

    Her BM's were all very close childhood friends and none of them had any qualms speaking openly and honestly with each other.  I agree with you, @Summerbride82716, that your friends do have that "first time" mindset.

    I would encourage you to continue posting about any and all things wedding related.  You seem to have an open mind, and do not take the responses personally.   The responses you receive will provide a nice counterpoint to that "first time in the group" perspective.


    Most of my bridesmaids were bridesmaids for the first time... THEY asked ME if they could buy matching robes for themselves for getting ready on the wedding day. And to be honest, I was all for it. I ended up buying their robes (matching pink silk robes with their first name embroidered on it -- don't stone me) and gave them their robes the night before their wedding along with their bridesmaid gifts.  I never said "wear these tomorrow" or "make sure you have these on tomorrow so we can take a group picture" but that's what ended up happening on its own. They were fun and made for a lot of ease when doing hair/makeup. 
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers


  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm with @MobKaz ... if some of your bridal party has approached you and said that they'd like to do this, and you've privately discussed it with the others, then I'd say go for it. I would wait on buying it to see what the trends are like in a few months.
    poodledoodleooos-aries8990
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    MobKaz said:
    I will be giving other gifts as well. 
    But the robes should not be considered a gift at all if the sole purpose of the robe is so you get cute getting ready pictures.  

    Now if you are getting them all robes that fit each persons wants in a robe (terry cloth and long vs short and silky vs fleece with a zipper) and they are under no obligation to wear said robe for pictures, then that would be fine as a gift.
    Edited above. But I really appreciate the non snarky response, and if any of my bridesmaids feel this way I would never force anything on them. 

    I realize I slightly opened a can of worms here so I want to clarify:

    1) This is not the gift. I will be giving it them, but I will also be making spa packages with a candle, bath salts and gift card to local to them nail salons NOT to be used for the wedding week. (not asking for critique on this - it's a joke between my friends that the only time my nails were done was during the proposal even though they all have a weekly nails ritual). 

    2) I know my bridal party really well. This is all their first time being bridesmaids, and half of them all sent me pins of robes saying we should do this before I even looked into. The rest I have talked to, and will not make anyone do anything they are not comfortable with. 

    3) Honestly, I have no photography plans yet. I thought it was cute, and saw a great deal.

     Again, thanks for concern I realize I should not have probably posted this. And I probably fall in the exact demographic of people who would enjoy this with us all being 2 years out of college and the first wedding for everyone. I understand how in 5 years and full wedding seasons later everyone may have a different reaction to this kind of stuff :) 
    As much as I reside in "Camp No Robes", I understand and empathize with this mindset.  My daughter was also one of the first to marry within her group of friends.  They all indeed did get swept up in the Pinterest world, and spammed her with all sorts of ideas, from the dreaded robes to the bachelorette sashes to the staged cheesey photos.

    Her BM's were all very close childhood friends and none of them had any qualms speaking openly and honestly with each other.  I agree with you, @Summerbride82716, that your friends do have that "first time" mindset.

    I would encourage you to continue posting about any and all things wedding related.  You seem to have an open mind, and do not take the responses personally.   The responses you receive will provide a nice counterpoint to that "first time in the group" perspective.

    I agree. Just because most of us here don't like or want cutesy robes, doesn't mean that everyone doesn't. Those pictures are popular for a reason. I'm glad you thought this through and kept your friends' comfort in mind, OP.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    poodledoodleooo[Deleted User]lc07
  • The robe thing is a fad. People do this because omg cute pictures. And Facebook. And Pinterest.

    But really...what are you going to do with pictures of your friends half dressed? Hang it up in your living room?

    *********************************************************************************

    image
    spockforprezMairePoppys-aries8990
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I was in a wedding 3 weeks ago, at 7 weeks postpartum. Robes appeared, something I had no prior knowledge of. Mine didn't fit properly. Photographer wanted a picture, and there was not really space to pull the bride aside and say no. I was not thrilled with the whole thing, as you might understand. This is why there's so much robe hate.

    I appreciate you saying that you wouldn't do anything that anyone's uncomfortable with. I'm not mad at my friend because I know that if I'd had the chance to say, "I'd really rather not be photographed in this, kind gesture as it is" she would have made sure that the photog knew not to make it a thing. However, there wasn't the space. Make sure there's a space - they can see/try on the robes, and you ask them if it's okay with the preface that it's totally okay if they want to sit out that one BMs-on-the-hotel-bed-in-robes picture, or if they'd rather not be made conspicuously absent, they don't need to do any "official" robe pictures at all.
    charlotte989875
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited November 2015
    Wrong post!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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