I started to write all the frustrating details of this past year but here's the bottom line: I was engaged for two years, collected names and addresses of friends and leaked that I would have a November destination wedding with a big reception for EVERYONE back in town.
Enter July -- I have a friend Ricky who has brain cancer. He has no other friends or family and when I say no other I mean no other living family and only one other couple who are his friends and they are casual acquaintances. Ricky, who had been stable was diagnosed with a 2nd brain tumor. A second surgery to remove the tumor left him unable to speak or move his right side. I am his medical and financial POA, which means I have to handle all aspects of his life. I also have a mega demanding job and since I am NOT related to Ricky, I am not permitted to take off work under FMLA to care for him (attend physician's appointments, etc). That said, every free hour before and after work, lunch, etc., was spend taking care of Ricky as best I could. Time flew by. No wedding planning had gone on. With the brain, you have no idea how fast it will heal. Stress and depression clouded any chance of wedding planning. I did what I could but ultimately as the day drew closer It was obvious I was not going to get to have this reception and might not get away for the private wedding. Once we found out that there were no refunds on the destination wedding, we had to go. We made the best of it, but it was admittedly ghetto and thrown together last minute... we had to make quick arrangements for Ricky's care while we were gone.
I meant to send out announcements when we got back but Rick hadn't had the best care when we were away and I had to snap into action again. I didn't have time for announcements; I didn't know if I could plan a reception. I pushed the idea of a reception out to February but time is ticking and most of the database of names and addresses I've collected goes untouched. I am stricken with an inability to promise anything and yet I really do want to have this amazing reception for my friends. We don't even have to call it a reception. We never had a housewarming; we can just have a party -- I just can't plan it and can't afford to pay anyone to plan it for me.
How late is too late to have a reception? I live in Arizona, so it has to be at night if we're to dress up and be outside in the elements. It's a cocktail reception; and the only months nice enough to dress up and we all want (not a PPD but I do like to dress formally and in AZ there is not much opportunity) to are November through February. I don't want to push this out any further... but with Ricky's state this could be next Fall.
Etiquette girls, how would you handle this? Announcement with a party promise for next year? I know I've got to get something out but the not knowing what to do and the right thing to do is crippling me.