Wedding Etiquette Forum

Christmas Cards Question

I was just told by my friend's mom that newly married couples who will be celebrating their first Christmas together are supposed to send a Christmas Card to everyone that got them a wedding gift. Is this really a thing? I never heard about it so I wanted to make sure if anyone knew the right etiquette for this. I sent out Thank You notes to everyone so it seems unnecessary but if it is expected then we will definitely do it. Thank you in advance! 

Re: Christmas Cards Question

  • Never heard that one before.

    To be honesty I send out xmas cards to most of the guest list anyway.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Ditto @lyndausvi .  We actually used our guest list as our Christmas card list and have updated it as the years go on.
  • Haven't heard of any such etiquette rule.
  • Well that makes me feel better! Thank you for your replies :)
  • My mum said exactly the same thing about our house-warming party guestlist.

    Weird. 
  • I've never heard of that. And I also don't send Christmas cards. 
  • Are Christmas cards lists a regional thing? Or is it going out of style?

    I don't think I or my family has ever received or sent one, except maybe the odd professional one from a company I've worked with.
  • I basically did that the first year we were married. Now the list is somewhat trimmed but I still send about 80 Christmas cards
  • Are Christmas cards lists a regional thing? Or is it going out of style?

    I don't think I or my family has ever received or sent one, except maybe the odd professional one from a company I've worked with.
    I think they're going out of style.  Now that there's social media, you don't need a card and/or a letter to find out what a family looks like or to hear how their year went.

    That being said, we're doing them this year, just because I think it's still fun.
    Married 9.12.15
    image
  • Are Christmas cards lists a regional thing? Or is it going out of style?

    I don't think I or my family has ever received or sent one, except maybe the odd professional one from a company I've worked with.
    My personal experience is that they are most common among Christians with children.  I've sent them on & off over the years (including when I was single).  When I was a kid, my family made a big to-do over a family picture for the card.  We had different "themes" each year. 
  • Are Christmas cards lists a regional thing? Or is it going out of style?

    I don't think I or my family has ever received or sent one, except maybe the odd professional one from a company I've worked with.
    My personal experience is that they are most common among Christians with children.  I've sent them on & off over the years (including when I was single).  When I was a kid, my family made a big to-do over a family picture for the card.  We had different "themes" each year. 
    Maybe that's it.   We get a ton every year and most have photos.   I've been sending them since before we had kids. 
  • I never miss Christmas cards. I LOVE to send and receive cards so I take every opportunity to send them. I'm actually stoked because I asked FH for his family and friends' addresses the first year we were together to do Christmas cards and he never got them to me over the following three years... now with the wedding, he had no choice! Mahaha. Christmas cards for all!
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  • We send Christmas cards, mainly to our closest friends and family. 
  • We send Christmas cards and also receive plenty. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Never heard of such a thing!  That said - had our computer not crashed, we'd have used our wedding guest list as our Christmas letter list...
  • Side question...for those that send them, when do you usually mail them?

    I ordered some this year to send for the first time (may as well get another use of an engagement photo!), and got excited and have them addressed, but wasn't sure how far into December I should wait to mail?
  • OP, you are not obligated to send anyone a holiday card. 

    cgss11 said:
    Side question...for those that send them, when do you usually mail them? I ordered some this year to send for the first time (may as well get another use of an engagement photo!), and got excited and have them addressed, but wasn't sure how far into December I should wait to mail?
    I don't think there is a hard and fast rule on this. I just started to receive holiday cards. I think it would be odd to receive a Christmas card prior to Thanksgiving. But any time between Thanksgiving and Christmas is typical in my experience.
  • December 1st is fine.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Are Christmas cards lists a regional thing? Or is it going out of style?

    I don't think I or my family has ever received or sent one, except maybe the odd professional one from a company I've worked with.
    I think they're going out of style.  Now that there's social media, you don't need a card and/or a letter to find out what a family looks like or to hear how their year went.

    That being said, we're doing them this year, just because I think it's still fun.
    For many people, Christmas cards are the only way they hear from family members who live far away.  I look forward to hearing from distant cousins every year.
    Emails do not have the same personal feel that a hand signed card gives, IMHO.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • My side of the family is big into Christmas cards, and they are almost always photo cards of the family, kids, pets, etc.  (I just ordered mine yesterday and they already shipped, so I am ridiculously excited.)

    On DH's side of the family, it's mostly just the older relatives, although his siblings also do the photo cards with kid pics.  I save them--it's fun to look back and see things like when when so-and-so was a toddler, vs. this year's card with a photo of him with his second degree black belt. 

    My cousin's wife is the only person I know who still does those multi-page Christmas letters, and they are the source of much holiday merriment (read: snark) on my side of the family.  :)
  • Are Christmas cards lists a regional thing? Or is it going out of style?

    I don't think I or my family has ever received or sent one, except maybe the odd professional one from a company I've worked with.
    This is surprising and kind of a little sad to me.

    I've been receiving them from friends and family since I moved into my first apartment. When I started sending them out in my early 20's, I started receiving a lot more. I think most of Christmas is overblown and excessive, but cards are just a nice greeting and reminder that Christmas is about something other than excessive spending. 
  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2015
    I was thinking more about this, and sending Christmas cards to anyone who gave you a wedding gift makes less and less sense. Christmas and a wedding are two separate events. There are many couples who are married that do not celebrate Christmas, even if some of their guests do. These couples would never send out Christmas cards, yet they are still married, and still have friends/family.

    But I do think Christmas cards are lovely- I agree with you @MyNameIsNot. Since we invited only those nearest and dearest to us to our wedding, most of our usual Christmas card list IS people who were guests at our wedding- but that is because the two lists overlap, not because of the above mentioned "rule". 

    P.S. I usually send them early December. 
  • cgss11 said:
    Side question...for those that send them, when do you usually mail them? I ordered some this year to send for the first time (may as well get another use of an engagement photo!), and got excited and have them addressed, but wasn't sure how far into December I should wait to mail?
    I start working on mine at Thanksgiving and get them out in groups... so I do some Christmas card exchanges with a couple online groups and I like to do those first and send them out. Then do family and send. Then friends and send. 

    I personally dislike cards that are only photo cards. They are cute and nice for the fridge, but as I said above I'm sentimental and like to receive a card that has at least a written signature. I always write a message, something small if I'm not super close with them and something a bit longer/more specific if they are close family or friends. I'm sure that's ridiculous, but that's my preference!
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  • julieanne912julieanne912 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2015
    CMGragain said:
    Are Christmas cards lists a regional thing? Or is it going out of style?

    I don't think I or my family has ever received or sent one, except maybe the odd professional one from a company I've worked with.
    I think they're going out of style.  Now that there's social media, you don't need a card and/or a letter to find out what a family looks like or to hear how their year went.

    That being said, we're doing them this year, just because I think it's still fun.
    For many people, Christmas cards are the only way they hear from family members who live far away.  I look forward to hearing from distant cousins every year.
    Emails do not have the same personal feel that a hand signed card gives, IMHO.
    I agree with you, hence why we're sending them.  I was just saying that many people don't do them anymore because of social media.  

    And, if a Christmas card is the only way you hear from family members who live far away, maybe you should pick up the phone and actually talk to them.  
    Married 9.12.15
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2015



    Are Christmas cards lists a regional thing? Or is it going out of style?

    I don't think I or my family has ever received or sent one, except maybe the odd professional one from a company I've worked with.

    This is surprising and kind of a little sad to me.

    I've been receiving them from friends and family since I moved into my first apartment. When I started sending them out in my early 20's, I started receiving a lot more. I think most of Christmas is overblown and excessive, but cards are just a nice greeting and reminder that Christmas is about something other than excessive spending. 

    -------boxes-------

    It's sad to me too. I love receiving Christmas cards and letters, and the photos in them almost always go on my fridge. I also love the page or more-long newsy letters. Social media does not replace these for me, as many of the people I receive them from either don't have Facebook or don't post on Facebook a lot. I still get new news I didn't know about in these letters, even from friends who post to FB on a fairly regular basis.

    H and I did our first letter and card last year.
  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2015
    cgss11 said:
    Side question...for those that send them, when do you usually mail them? I ordered some this year to send for the first time (may as well get another use of an engagement photo!), and got excited and have them addressed, but wasn't sure how far into December I should wait to mail?


    Any time after December 6th (Feast of St. Nick) - just because it's not the "I had these waiting at Thanksgiving" and "HOLY **** Christmas is two days from now!" balance...

    But - with DH and his level of procrastination - usually some time before Valentine's Day... 

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