Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Can a groom see a picture of the dress before the wedding?

The title says it all... I'd like to show him a couple of pictures of dresses but just wondering if that falls under the no-no section?  Very different from seeing the bride IN the dress, I know.  So.. is showing him a picture (not me, a model) acceptable?

Re: Can a groom see a picture of the dress before the wedding?

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_can-groom-see-picture-of-dress-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:48a1311c-e3d0-4a83-ab69-e884f62d2844Post:77c87d90-2b8c-490f-888d-c5ad10247fb7">Can a groom see a picture of the dress before the wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The title says it all... I'd like to show him a couple of pictures of dresses but just wondering if that falls under the no-no section?  Very different from seeing the bride IN the dress, I know.  So.. is showing him a picture (not me, a model) acceptable?
    Posted by Just us two[/QUOTE]

    No. It will completely invalidate your wedding vows.

  • [QUOTE]In Response to Can a groom see a picture of the dress before the wedding? : No. It will completely invalidate your wedding vows.
    Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]

    <div>Ha! OP- of course the groom can see a picture of the dress.  What could possibly be the harm?</div>
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  • I don't see why not, it will give him an idea of what you guys are working with :)
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  • redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    2500 Comments
    edited May 2011
    If you want him to, sure.

    You realize that the bad luck thing is a little silly, right? Many a couple have done first look pictures and they are still married. Or had the FI help pick out the dress. So if you want him to help or see the dress do it, your marriage will not fail because of it.

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  •   I let my FI see a picture but he doesn't even know it.  I showed him 4 different dresses that were all the same style and told him that 1 of these was my dress. That way he is still totally surprised on our wedding day.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I seriously doubt 90% of guys care enough about dresses that it would even matter.  If you showed him a picture of 4 dresses, and told him one was yours, you could show up that day in one of them or in a completely different dress, and he really wouldn't know.  To him, a big white dress is a big white dress.  He's way more interested in you looking beautiful than in the style and details of your dress.  

    If you want to show him, show him.  If you want to be superstitious, be superstitious.  
  • My H helped me get the dress out of the car and wrap it up the day I picked it up from the shop.  Granted, he didn't see me in it until the ceremony, but that was his choice.

    PPs are right, it's all a superstition that doesn't hold any validity.  
  • Really?  What exactly do you think will happen if he sees a picture of the dress you're wearing before the wedding?  This is a silly superstition that is perhaps fun to play along with, but having any REAL impact?

    Think of it this way:  At the end of the ceremony, if your FI sees the dress, you'll be married.  OR, at the end of the ceremony, if your FI doesn't see the dress, you'll be married.  And isn't that what this is really all about?

    Good luck.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • The only reason I wouldn't, is because 99% of dresses look completely different on you that they do on models in a book. I veto'd a ton of dresses from their pictures, and when I actually saw them on me I was like "no way is this the same dress!". So basically, if he said he didn't like a dress, but you decided to try it on and it looked amazing, his not liking it on the model could sway your choice from getting your "dream dress". 
  • NukkeNukke member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    If you believe in the superstition, or want a complete surprise, then don't show him.

    If you don't care either way, then show him.  Only you can answer this question.

    Which is more important to you--seeing his face when he sees the dress now, or seeing his face when he sees the dress for the first time with you in it?
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  • Sure, if thats what you want. My FI didn't want to see pictures, so our first look photos are 100% authentic. Does he want to see? Most of the guys I know actually prefer the surprise.
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  • I showed fi pictures of different styles to figure out what he didn't like or absolutely hated...for example figured out that way not to get the tea-length dress I originally liked. But, I was careful to not show him the actual dress for fear he would remember how the model looked in it :)
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  • Thank you all for the responses!  I think I will take the advice of surprising him.  Yes, I did feel very silly in asking, but I do have family members who are quite superstitous.  Embarassed
  • em01092em01092 member
    1000 Comments
    edited May 2011
    They are probably more traditional than superstitious. The groom not seeing the bride in her dress is the old fashioned way, rooted in not just superstition. It was also because sometimes grooms and brides did not meet until that day, and the bride's family kept her concealed until he lifted the veil, in case the guy didn't think she was so fine, but at that point it would essentially be too late.  Arranged marriages for the fail. I guess this is where the superstition idea comes from? Idk. 

    I have a feeling a lot of people hold on to the concept "just because" and don't really think about why or what they prefer. First looks can be great moments between you and your FI and can be very stress relieving. I'm not doing one, but they are a wonderful option. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_can-groom-see-picture-of-dress-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:48a1311c-e3d0-4a83-ab69-e884f62d2844Post:28af4e1e-78c5-4042-bdfb-fb49e60022fa">Re: Can a groom see a picture of the dress before the wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>I seriously doubt 90% of guys care enough about dresses that it would even matter.  If you showed him a picture of 4 dresses, and told him one was yours, you could show up that day in one of them or in a completely different dress, and he really wouldn't know. </strong> To him, a big white dress is a big white dress.  He's way more interested in you looking beautiful than in the style and details of your dress.   If you want to show him, show him.  If you want to be superstitious, be superstitious.  
    Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

    <div>Haha exactly!</div>
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  • aegrishaegrish member
    1000 Comments
    I showed my FI my dress in the store.  I guarantee he could not pick it out of a lineup of dresses for the life of him.  If you asked him what it looked like he would tell you 'it's white'.  And it's not.  It's ivory.  I showed him because I was so excited about it I HAD to show someone when we passed by the bridal store, but it was pointless.
  • Think about all the old traditions that you are not following. there's a bunch right? so why can't you break this one too!

    I definitely understand the brides that keep it from their FI's so that they have that wow factor the day of, but for the pure tradition of it, i don't get it.
    My FI went with me to pick it out. He is the only person at the whole wedding that i care likes my dress, so why wouldn't i want his say in it?
    I have gotten a LOT of crap for this (even the consultant was kind of a bitch about him being there)
    but it's 2011. At this point, unless you are super religious, traditions of anything wedding related are just for fun.

  • FI has seen a picture of my dress, but has not see me in it.  I like it because we can talk style more together now...he's been an involved groom.  Also, I like knowing that he likes it.  My family all gave me the side eye over it but whatever.
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  • I dont see why you would want or need to show him. Espcially if you have waited until right before your wedding.
  • I was showing my FI pics of centerpieces, invitations, other nonessential things I had saved on my computer and a picture of one of my favourite dresses accidentaly came up and he was like "eew, what's that?".  So then I got really scared and started browsing dresses with him.  As it turns out he's more of a 'princess' person and I'm a 'mermaid', but I know that he'll think I look beautiful in whatever I wear on the day.
    So the bottom line is, there's nothing wrong with showing him, but suppose he doesnt like the dress you already bought?  Are you going to change ur choice for something he would prefer?
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  • If it's a signal of bad luck or whatever, I'm screwed LOL My fiancé has helped me all the way, seen all my choices, I finally have 3 options... just in case in person they do not fit well, like in the pictures I've seen. He knows all of them and he's good keeping the details of everything, has a good memory for this kind of stuff, different than me, I totally forget stuff lol 

    Anyway, he saw all the dresses I liked, I mean ALL of them... he's been helping me since I still have to wait to go to U.S for us to marry, then planning a wedding still a great/mysterious adventure to me. Do not worry, as long as he doesn't see you wearing the one you chose, (I'm keeping this for my bad luck list), it's fine.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_can-groom-see-picture-of-dress-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:48a1311c-e3d0-4a83-ab69-e884f62d2844Post:315363b7-48f1-4064-9065-8264460a60bc">Re: Can a groom see a picture of the dress before the wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Can a groom see a picture of the dress before the wedding? : No. It will completely invalidate your wedding vows.
    Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]
    LOL.
    :3
  • but CAN he see a picture...sure. do you WANT him to? up to you. I don't want mine to see it or anything about it!
    :3
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