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Wedding Woes

I think letter writer doesn't want to lose her party-buddy

Hi Prudence,
I have a family member who is one of my best friends. Until recently we’ve both been single; she recently met a man on a dating site and within two weeks started talking about marriage. They have now been together for a month, and he is looking for a house for them to move into, and she is looking at rings. I’m slightly terrified. When I’ve mentioned how quickly this is moving, she just acts as if it’s all a joke, but according to other family members, she is deathly serious about him. The whole family has been champing at the bit for each of us to settle down with a man, anyman. I’m trying to look out for her, but I feel like the one voice of sanity in a sea of cheering family members. The man seems very nice, and she hasn’t dated a nice guy ever, but it’s way too soon! How can you convince someone so hellbent on marriage to slow down?

—Putting on the Brakes

Re: I think letter writer doesn't want to lose her party-buddy

  • I had a friend like this. We talked and she told me she was getting engaged after six weeks. I said ok, and hoped for the best. They are still married after 3 years. I wouldn't have gotten engaged after 6 weeks, but grown people are going to do what they want.
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  • I do try to remember that sometimes it works.
    (My ILs knew each other literally saw each other across the room and did the "that's the person I'm going to marry" thing, dated for 2 weeks, married after 6 and it's been almost 40 years)...

    But you can't talk people out of crazy, the best you can talk them into is having a contingency plan. 
  • I’m slightly terrified.

    I didn't know that terrified was a thing that you could feel only slightly.
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