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Wedding Etiquette Forum
ClaraGrace
member
3:30 reception - light food or full meal?
Since there's absolutely no way we are having a gap, no matter how common they are with Catholic weddings, it's looking like our reception will start around 3:30 or so.
Do we do an afternoon tea type meal with nibbly foods and what have you or are we late enough in the afternoon, we need to plan for a full meal?
I am leaning towards the tea, mostly as costs mean we can host a much nicer light meal with that caterer vs the full meal which is nice but not the special of the tea. But if I'm wrong on timing being ok for a tea, full meal it is.
Do we do an afternoon tea type meal with nibbly foods and what have you or are we late enough in the afternoon, we need to plan for a full meal?
I am leaning towards the tea, mostly as costs mean we can host a much nicer light meal with that caterer vs the full meal which is nice but not the special of the tea. But if I'm wrong on timing being ok for a tea, full meal it is.
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Re: 3:30 reception - light food or full meal?
There's part of me that'd like the big fancy reception - but I don't like being out all night usually, the tea will be nicer than what we could afford to properly host for the evening reception and biggest reason is I can't figure out how to have the big reception without some kind of 2 hour or more gap. Which in the end is just far too rude to me to even consider.
I may have grumbled mightily when Mom was drilling etiquette and manners in my head, but boy did her teaching stick and it's always served me well until now.
A tea is lovely for a shower, but for the main event (since it sounds like your ceremony begins at 2), it just seems not the right way to go... I'd see about moving your ceremony maybe to 1:00 if you're set on the tea just so you're clear of meal time. I'd do/prefer a longer Cocktail/apps hour with dinner served at 4:45/5:00... then get things going/wrapped up so everyone's on their way by 7:30/8... Reason being is that a tea can get expensive and you are sandwiching up to the dinner hour unless you can move things earlier depending on what your priest says. Or, do a lunch if you do have some flex on things being earlier in the day.
Our caterer is strictly vegan/vegetarian, has a great menu, doesn't do the weird fake meat, and we'll have better and more food than pasta with vegetables for under half the cost of full meal quote. I've had her teas before at 2-3 pm and not wanted dinner until 8 pm. I really hope people won't go hungry, but at some point, there's going to be plenty of food and I can't force feed people.
Wedding is starting at 1:30, knowing our parish and wedding size, we're going to be around 90 minutes. It's a 15 minute trip to the hotel, so earliest will be 3:15 if people leave right away, and knowing our crowd, 3:30 is a pretty logical time frame. We'll start hosting as of 3 pm in case it's a lot faster. So it's either a over an hour cocktail reception (3:30 - 5:00 at minimum) which feels way too much like a gap or tea. Wedding can't move later, too close to our time for us to be comfortable.
It's a case of we picked ceremony time first, decided how important parts were, and now have to figure out a reception without a gap. Which is a slight headache, but that's our own fault for having the full nuptial Mass and large families (my mom was one of nine kids, and we go from there) who are important to us.
Are we going to please everyone the world over - nope. Granted, I figure between the long Catholic ceremony and a vegan tea, various people will be horrified.
Are our guests going to be comfortable - yes. Our families expect the full ceremony, no matter how long it takes, and are a heavy majority of vegans and vegetarians.
BUT cake and tea sounds great too. A light reception from 3:30-5:30 sounds great, then people can go get dinner afterwards. If that's what you want, go for it.
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