FI told me last night that he'd talked to an old friend yesterday, he'd called to let FI know he'd just picked up the ring to propose to his girlfriend, and then asked FI about the wedding planning.
FI, who is a jeans and button down guy, mentioned he's wearing a tux. Friend said 'oh man, you're gonna make me stand up in front of people in a tux?' FI said "well it's black tie optional, so suits work too" but apparently friend didn't get the hint as later in the conversation mentioned something else about the rehearsal dinner/making a speech.
To be clear, I've never met this guy. FI said he's only seen him once in the last 5 years (we've been together 3.5), but have been friends since they were toddlers.
I'm only planning on 2 BMs, and FI has 2 brothers so is planning on those two being GMs (no one has been asked yet).
I asked FI, hypothetically, if I asked another friend or two to be BMs, would this guy make the cut *then*- no. He's got closer friends- whom I've met! Multiple times!- who he'd pick first. This guy would be #6... and he nor I want that large of a bridal party.
FI asked that I help figure out a way to kindly/politley let this guy know that in fact he's not a groomsman. FI said he's kind of sensitive, which is why he didn't bluntly say 'dude, you're not standing next to me' when he brought it up on the phone. I told him to blame it on me, and say "Knicker's only having 2 and she said I can only have 2, and so just my brothers, sorry man" but he sweetly, doesn't want to 'blame me'.
Any ideas? I've never met the guy, so no harm done to me if he hates me! ha!