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Chit Chat

NWR Marriage Prep Advice Roundup - helpful tips?

edited December 2015 in Chit Chat

My fiance and I got engaged this past summer and had a hard time finding useful marriage prep advice on things like money, housework, sex, etc. Most books and websites that don’t focus on the wedding aesthetics, etiquette, logistics, etc. seem to come from a religious angle (we’re agnostic), and we didn’t necessarily want to shell out for in-person premarital counselling.


After spending several months doing research all over the place, we collected all the advice we got into one place and want to share it with everyone! Let us know if we missed anything or if you love/hate any parts of it: ***Removed for TOS Violation***

Re: NWR Marriage Prep Advice Roundup - helpful tips?

  • edited December 2015

    My fiance and I got engaged this past summer and had a hard time finding useful marriage prep advice on things like money, housework, sex, etc. Most books and websites that don’t focus on the wedding aesthetics, etiquette, logistics, etc. seem to come from a religious angle (we’re agnostic), and we didn’t necessarily want to shell out for in-person premarital counselling.

    After spending several months doing research all over the place, we collected all the advice we got into one place and want to share it with everyone! Let us know if we missed anything or if you love/hate any parts of it: ***Removed for TOS Violation***

    Honestly, I know you mean well and I'm sure
    all these statistics and details are valid and good ... it's just hard to give it much credibility when you don't know the source. If you're not yet married and haven't had formal training, then it's kind of hard to take advice seriously when you don't know the source.

    I don't say this to be totally negative ... it's just clear that you and your fiancé put a lot of time into it, and I don't want this effort to go to waste.
  • I smell shameless self promotion. Here's my relationship advice that covers damn near everything : use your words, own your shit and listen.

  • Yah this sounds a little self-promoty to me. And honestly, I don't think I'm taking marriage advice from someone unmarried and who is not a professional. If you really want pre-martial counseling, pay for a professional.
  • OP, from the sound of it you and your FI spent a lot of time working on this. That's good.

    But I really can't over recommend actually talking to a professional. Doesn't have to be religious. My H and I were really solid and didn't have any major issues, but we still found talking to a professional to be a really great exercise. It helped us make sure we didn't have any major issues we were just ignoring and we talked through some sensitive stuff. The sensitive stuff especially was great to do with a neutral party because we could be more sure we weren't hurting each other and that we both got a chance to voice our side. Also, she taught us some good ways to communicate that we can use in the future for our disagreements.
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  • Hopefully this question doesn't sound as rude as it might come off, but I'm genuinely curious. Why should I listen to what you think is good advice? You are neither a professional nor married, probably the two most important things that I'd care about when asking about relationship/marriage advice. I don't need both, but I'd prefer at least one, otherwise where is your perspective coming from? Especially from someone who can't see why "shell[ing] out for in-purpose premarital counseling" might be worth it and instead will rely on random websites and links.

    I think you should think about that question before sharing your blog for hits. If you can answer that, great, maybe you're on to something. But if you can't, then maybe reevaluate your purpose with this and just keep your conglomeration of links to yourself for your own use until you can show that they're helpful.
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