Registry Question, is this rude?

[Deleted User] · December 2015

Okay, I may or may not have a bad/rude idea, and I figure it's better to present it to you guys than to my friends and family.

We're trying to register and are hitting a snaffu. There are zero department stores in Holland that do registries, so we're registering with the German Amazon. I want a second brick and mortar Canadian store to register with for my side of the guest list, but every store I research requires that I give up a Canadian address. That's fine, I can use my parents', but I don't want gifts to actually be shipped to my parents, since it'll in the end cost us an arm and a leg to get them to us. The Canadian registry would best be used for guests who want to bring the gift to the wedding, and German Amazon is better for those wanting to ship gifts directly to us (or for the Dutch side). There doesn't appear to be any option for me to hide the Canadian address that I use, either.

Is it rude to spread by word of mouth or with a note on our website please do not ship packages to my parents, even though it might be shown as an option when you purchase the gift from the online store?

TheCheeseWench · December 2015

Check the registry website and see if they have a "Note to Guests" feature. That might be a good place to mention the request. 2 of the 3 places we registered did (maybe all 3, I only noticed on 2).

I didn't want any registry info on or website, so people mostly asked our families about registries. They might be a good option to spread the word as well.

Also, unless you are having a shower, you don't really need to register for much in the way of physical items that can be brought to the wedding. They really are a pain to haul around anyway. Your Amazon registry is fine, and those not wanting to have items shipped will likely just give you cash.

STARMOON44 · December 2015

You want people to buy you things, and also to bring them to you in their luggage?

I don't love it. If there's no good way to register, don't.

OliveOilsMom · December 2015

With those logistics, I just would not register. If I were attending your wedding, I would just give cash (if I can convert it, I would give it in your currency as well). But also remember that if people are coming a long way and need to travel far, you may not be getting any gifts either.

thisismynickname2 · December 2015

I just wouldn't register in this case. If you receive cash gifts, use that cash to buy whatever you would have wanted to register for.
If you are given a shower, it would make sense to me to only then register at a store that is local to where the shower is given.

SP29 · December 2015

Agree with the above.

Amazon registry OK- because guests can ship to your address. Otherwise, I would forgo the registry. Guests are also not going to want to travel with a gift either.

[Deleted User] · December 2015

Sounds good, thanks for the input, PPs. We'll just stick with our relatively small Amazon registry. No shower, so no worries on that front.

100yroldblinddog · December 2015

If there are items that you want from a brick and mortar store that's accessible to you, you could always see if you could make a registry, then keep it private (like you can do with Amazon), and then use your cash gifts after the wedding to purchase using your completion discount(s).

TrixieJess · December 2015

The Bay, Williams Sonoma, Canadian Tire et al should have a note option. Keep in mind that customs, taxes and shipping from Canada overseas is expensive as is travelling with items in your luggage.

Most people willing probably gift you cash. I'm from Ontario and every wedding I've gone to, there have only been a handful of physical gifts at the actual wedding.

Registry Question, is this rude?

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